3451: Stop Self-Criticizing, Start Meditating by Crystal Fenton with MindBodyWise on Choosing Happiness

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[00:01:08] This is Optimal Living Daily. Stop Self-Criticizing, Start Meditating, by Crystal Fenton with MindBodyWise.com. And I'm Justin Malek.

[00:01:18] Happy Monday and welcome to one of the only podcasts in the world where blogs are narrated to you for free, that's with permission from the authors.

[00:01:26] And I'll keep this intro short, so let's get right to it, and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:34] Stop Self-Criticizing, Start Meditating, by Crystal Fenton with MindBodyWise.com.

[00:01:42] Admit it, you've been there, acting as your own worst critic by doubting yourself.

[00:01:47] As a writer and yoga instructor, I can attest to the idea that perfectionism is, indeed, the enemy of the pen, and of the self.

[00:01:56] So what do you do when you just can't seem to quiet that negative inner voice?

[00:02:00] Recent research shows, learning how to meditate can help practitioners.

[00:02:05] Guided meditations, such as the Loving Kindness Meditation, have been shown to increase self-compassion while decreasing self-criticism.

[00:02:14] According to the experts, meditation, including mantra meditation, lessens the extremities of negative thoughts, changes patterns of belief, and facilitates learning how to forgive yourself.

[00:02:26] Meditation helps us avoid going down the rabbit hole of self-critical thoughts, as the act of coming back to the attention on the breath, halts the process of criticism in its path, says Rachel Schenken, founder of MindBodyWise.

[00:02:39] Science supports this, as Schenken explains from a neuropsychology and scientific perspective,

[00:02:44] neurons in the brain that fire together, wire together.

[00:02:48] Quote,

[00:02:49] Breaking the cycle of self-criticism by using the breath as an anchor also breaks the self-critical neurotransmitters from continuing firing together,

[00:02:59] thus short-circuiting the brain's self-criticism mechanism that may have once been on autopilot.

[00:03:05] End quote.

[00:03:05] Dina Kaplan, founder of meditation community, The Path, believes meditation is extraordinarily powerful for self-critical thoughts in three ways.

[00:03:15] The first is when you sit, the critical voice in your head becomes quieter.

[00:03:19] Your mind spins less quickly and enters a feeling of calm and spaciousness, Kaplan tells RewireMe.

[00:03:25] Second, it's powerful to become proud of yourself that you're taking the time to go deeper into the self.

[00:03:31] This creates confidence that quells your critical side, notes Kaplan.

[00:03:35] Third, meditation gives you the power to make changes.

[00:03:39] Quote,

[00:03:40] It gives you insight to see what's not serving you and the tools to choose to change those aspects of your personality.

[00:03:46] In this way, it helps us develop into the best version of ourselves.

[00:03:51] End quote.

[00:03:52] Quiet the body, calm the mind.

[00:03:55] Meditation, the simple act of bringing focused awareness to breath while in stillness,

[00:04:00] calms the central nervous system and physical body while relaxing the mind.

[00:04:06] We are the only animals who can consciously control our breath,

[00:04:09] and this ability allows us to have a level of self-management over our bodies and minds

[00:04:14] that no other living being can do, says Schenken.

[00:04:18] Quote,

[00:04:18] Quote,

[00:04:19] Meditation allows us to be responsive instead of reactive in challenging situations

[00:04:23] as it trains our entire system to equilibrate,

[00:04:26] even when we are not in our practice of meditation.

[00:04:29] End quote.

[00:04:30] Remember that meditation is not the act of clearing the mind or thinking nothing.

[00:04:36] Rather,

[00:04:36] it is the practice of continually bringing the wandering mind back to the breath

[00:04:41] over and over and over again with as little judgment and as much compassion as possible.

[00:04:47] According to Kaplan,

[00:04:48] our brains, before trained,

[00:04:49] are scattered with thoughts each second of every day.

[00:04:53] Once you start meditating, a number of those thoughts come out.

[00:04:56] So when you go about your day,

[00:04:58] your mind is more settled and actually feels more clear, she says.

[00:05:02] Quote,

[00:05:02] You become more open to learning new things and listening to and focusing on other people

[00:05:08] when they speak.

[00:05:09] End quote.

[00:05:10] Meditation in action.

[00:05:12] Start simple by downloading an app.

[00:05:15] Schenken recommends Insight Timer or Headspace,

[00:05:18] offering both silent and guided meditations.

[00:05:21] Find a quiet space where you can take a comfortable seat,

[00:05:24] turning on the meditation or timer.

[00:05:26] Rest hands comfortably in your lap.

[00:05:28] Sit as tall and vertical in the spine as you can.

[00:05:31] And close the eyes.

[00:05:33] Soften all the muscles in your face and belly.

[00:05:36] Breathe in and out through your nose.

[00:05:38] Follow either the instructions of the guided or silent meditation,

[00:05:42] counting your breaths up to five and then begin again.

[00:05:45] If you lose count, start over again.

[00:05:48] Schenken also recommends using a mantra meditation practice.

[00:05:52] Quote,

[00:05:52] Since letting go is one of the most challenging things we face as human beings,

[00:05:57] one of my favorite standby mantras is to mentally say the word let on my inhale

[00:06:02] and go on my exhale.

[00:06:04] This is repeated over and over.

[00:06:06] When my mind wanders,

[00:06:07] I bring it back and continue until the timer goes off.

[00:06:11] End quote.

[00:06:12] Beginners should start with an amount of time that is sustainable.

[00:06:16] Try meditating three to five minutes every day of the first week.

[00:06:20] Then, slowly build the amount of time each week.

[00:06:24] It's consistency that matters, not the amount of each time you sit.

[00:06:28] Kaplan advises practitioners to focus on the sensation of the breath

[00:06:31] coming in and out of your nostrils.

[00:06:34] When the mind wanders,

[00:06:36] gently bring attention back to the feeling of that sensation.

[00:06:39] Kaplan summarizes,

[00:06:41] Quote,

[00:06:42] Meditation will improve your self-worth.

[00:06:44] Over time, it tends to make people more relaxed,

[00:06:47] more ethical,

[00:06:48] happier,

[00:06:49] and each of those things increases your ease and self-confidence.

[00:06:52] This builds each week, month, and year that you meditate.

[00:06:57] End quote.

[00:06:58] Next time you find yourself challenged by negative inner demons,

[00:07:01] take a moment to stop,

[00:07:03] sit,

[00:07:04] breathe,

[00:07:05] and meditate.

[00:07:10] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:12] Stop Self-Criticizing,

[00:07:13] Start Meditating,

[00:07:15] by Crystal Fenton with mindbodywise.com,

[00:07:17] and I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:09:28] Thank you to Crystal, a guest author with MindBodyWise.

[00:09:31] When I first started learning meditation,

[00:09:33] there were not any apps

[00:09:35] or many online resources like there are today.

[00:09:38] This article named a few resources,

[00:09:39] I find apps like that really help guide you through it

[00:09:43] so it's not incredibly boring or frustrating.

[00:09:46] Sitting down without guidance can be pretty rough,

[00:09:50] but having someone or an app chime in every once in a while

[00:09:53] to keep you on track is a huge help,

[00:09:56] especially for beginners.

[00:09:57] That said, if you're fine

[00:09:58] and can do basic meditation on your own

[00:10:00] and get through 10, 20, or 30 minutes at a time,

[00:10:04] more power to you.

[00:10:05] But sometimes doing it alone can be unproductive

[00:10:08] or you just end up sitting there stewing in your thoughts,

[00:10:11] which isn't helpful.

[00:10:12] You totally forget you're meditating in the first place.

[00:10:14] And that could be a little bit too much for some.

[00:10:17] So yet another tool available to you

[00:10:19] where you can decide what's right for you.

[00:10:22] And in either case,

[00:10:23] I would recommend trying meditation

[00:10:25] for at least a period of time if you haven't already,

[00:10:28] if that wasn't obvious enough.

[00:10:30] But that should do it for today.

[00:10:31] Have a great start to your week.

[00:10:33] Thank you for being here with me and listening every day.

[00:10:35] And I'll be back tomorrow

[00:10:36] where your optimal life awaits.