3465: If You’re Tired of Struggling: You’re Not the Only One by Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui of A Life in Progress

[00:00:00] Überlass Deine gesunde Ernährung und die Gains nicht nur Deinem Bauchgefühl. Denn bei der Ernährung gaukelt uns unser innerer Schweinehund manchmal ganz schön was vor. Sag stattdessen Hallo zu Deinem neuen Coach, Yasio. Yasio ist die meistgenutzte Ernährungs-App Europas, made in Germany. Egal ob Massephase oder ein bisschen Abnehmen. Tracke Kalorien, Proteine, Carbs, Fette, Bewegung und Intervallfasten. Und mit den Tasty-Rezepten bist Du ready für Deine Ziele. Let's go! Lade die Yasio-App jetzt herunter.

[00:00:29] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:55] So press play on Good Sleep tonight, because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app, and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily. If you're tired of struggling, you're not the only one. By Krista O'Reilly, Davy DeGee of aLifeInProgress.ca, and I'm Justin Malek.

[00:01:19] Welcome back to a Sunday bonus episode where I give you a little bit of extra content from a different podcast in our network that I think will also help you live a life that's a bit more happier and meaningful. Today's episode is coming from Optimal Relationships Daily. So here's Greg with another post as we optimize your life. If you're tired of struggling, you're not the only one. By Krista O'Reilly Davy DeGee of aLifeInProgress.ca

[00:01:49] You're tired of struggling, but you're not the only one. She trembles as we speak. The diagnosis is only part of the reason. Her anxiety has built up over the years, and now it's hard for her to be in public. Shame covers her still, though the trauma took place years ago. She knows she should be over it by now, and wonders what people think of her inability to join in, to keep a job, to look like everyone else. She's a beautiful soul and is loved by many.

[00:02:17] But her insecurity and pain have erected a well-constructed wall, preventing joy from seeping in, keeping people out. And when she wonders aloud what people must think of her, I answer that what matters more is what she thinks of herself. She made a vow over a decade ago to stop hating her body. To turn away from a lifetime of body shame, of binging and restricting and constantly wishing she was different. More like her sisters, perhaps.

[00:02:44] She has worked to love herself and her body through pain, and as her weight shifted downward, and harder yet, the times her weight shifted up again. Despite all the years and all the work, she's fighting back tears today as she notices that roll around her middle that seems to have expanded overnight, pushing out over the sides of her jeans. She knows that some people might judge her, but the worst is the way she's judging herself today. She does not see what I see when she's chatting freely and letting down her guard.

[00:03:14] A radiance that's been hard won. A gentle beauty that spills out and touches others' lives without her even being aware. If you're tired of struggling, it may help to know you're not the only one. She is one of the kindest women I know. So generous with praise and encouragement for others, and so very hard on herself. She has her share of struggles and worries that she might mess up her children, the ones she loves most in this world.

[00:03:42] She's carried a burden of anxiety for so long, and I think wonders if she will ever truly be free. She's persistent, seeking, willing to do the work. But when the change she needs does not come easily, she wonders what's the matter with her. Why is this thing so hard for her and not for others? She sees the beauty in others, but cannot completely see the incredible gift and beauty in herself. Yet she's a delight to all those that meet her.

[00:04:09] She's stubborn and strong in ways she does not realize. Raising all those kids. Serving and sacrificing. She lives out her values on a minute-by-minute basis. But there's also a darker side. Fear that she might crack. That even though she's managed to somehow keep it sort of together to this point, that one day, she will completely fall apart. And what'll happen to her family then? She's been learning to use her voice, to ask for what she needs.

[00:04:38] But it seems selfish for her to continue to speak her fuller truth. That it's too much. That maybe what seems right and honorable will push her over the edge. One day. There are glimmers of joy in her life, but they're mostly overshadowed by the daily panic of trying to keep up. What would people say if they really saw what's behind her closed doors? We can all feel so tired of struggling some days. I fought hard against fear to find my own way to freedom.

[00:05:06] Sometimes change comes softly when we least expect it. Sometimes, in spite of life feeling hard, we need to make a decision to really live each day. She struggled back in school, and turned to alcohol and sleeping around to feel loved. She compared herself to her big sister, always feeling like she fell short even though no one else was comparing. Back and forth she's danced with addiction, but over the past few years, she's landed in a fairly soft place.

[00:05:35] She never has quite fit easily with her family, and the more she feels rejected, the more she lashes out, pushing people further away. She lacks somewhat in social graces, but all she wants is to feel like she belongs. Safe, safe, loved. She has a tenacity about her that I admire, and an ability to keep reaching out for community where many others would have given up. She wishes, perhaps, that she was different, that life came easier to her. But I think that all is as it should be.

[00:06:06] For we are all imperfect and encounter pain on this journey. Each of our struggles is an opportunity to listen, to love, and to learn. If you're tired of struggling right now, please remember that you are not alone. She's bold and interesting, and a little fiery. She knows how to work hard, and create, and carve out sanctuary for others. And she's also completely overwhelmed and defeated, so weary of this relationship that she cannot fix.

[00:06:34] She thinks it's her fault. A better woman would know how to undo the damage, how to repair the breach. This is not the life she dreamed about all those years ago, nor the one the books and magazines promised her. This one is too hard. Sometimes she actually thinks about driving away from it all, but that's not what she really desires. There's so much shame swirling, dizzyingly, around this broken place in her life. But she does not see what I see. She is a red-tent sister,

[00:07:04] always ready to reassure and hold space for others. For me. A bold and beautiful gift to the world. She held on when most would have let go. She fought for her family and her mental wellness, and modeled strength and dignity, even in the midst of abuse. She was told she was at fault, a mess-up. All her flaws, real and imagined, pointed out to her on a daily basis. Still, she hung on, for the sake of her children, until one day it was time. She's thought about ending it all,

[00:07:34] or on a slightly better day, about running away and starting over. But then she digs in her heels yet again, and does the work laid out before her. There are many reasons to quit, many circumstances that she wishes she could fix, both for herself and others. Her life has been far from easy, but she mostly puts on a brave face to the outside world. She's by far one of the strongest women I know, and one day, I hope she'll see what I see in her. Can you see now that it's true? You're tired of struggling,

[00:08:03] and you're not the only one who struggles. And just like all of these women, you are a gift, an imperfect, beautiful, delightful gift to this world. You just listened to the post titled If you're tired of struggling, you're not the only one by Christa O'Reilly Davy de Gui of a lifeinprogress.ca A Feierabendbier, perfect zum Abschalten. A glass of wine, good for the heart.

[00:08:33] But what if that are just myths? The truth is, alcohol is the dangerous drug in the world. And we celebrate it daily. Why is alcohol for women so lock and so dangerous? How does the alcohol industry affect our life? The highest time to talk about it. Dirty Little Secrets Why we always drink more. Die Doku-Serie jetzt exklusiv streamen in der ARD Mediathek. And many thanks to Christa for sharing today. Definitely one of our more poetic

[00:09:03] and narrative-based posts, which I always feel bring a different flavor to the discussion of relationships. A lot of people might say that the reminder of others who share their struggles is not necessarily comforting, but rather makes them feel as though the intricacies of their pain are not being acknowledged. But a post like this, I think, does a great job of bridging that gap and really bringing about that sense of camaraderie. So even though this might not feel like a typical post about relationship building,

[00:09:31] I encourage you to dig a bit deeper and look at it through the lens of that camaraderie. A big part of building relationships with others and having compassion for others is being able to step outside yourself and watch the stories of other people, as we felt like we were doing throughout this read. When we do this, we might find it easier to see that we share so much in common with those we never thought we did and that so many of us are trying our best and that so many of us have things weighing down on us that we might not even realize.

[00:10:01] So consider bringing this type of story when you reflect on the life and struggles of others and see if it helps you to see them in a new light. Okay, friends, that'll do it for today and another episode of ORD. Thanks so much for being here. Make sure to check out our weekly bonus episode, which is also available today. And I'll see you next time where your optimal life awaits.