3477: How To Define Success For Yourself (no, but REALLY) by Sarah Von Bargen of Yes and Yes on Find Your Vision

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[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_01] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_01] So press play on Good Sleep tonight, because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app, and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily. How to define success for yourself. No, but really. By Sarah Von Bargen of yesandyes.org, and I'm Justin Malek. We're gonna jump right into today's article as we optimize your life.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01] How to define success for yourself. No, but really. By Sarah Von Bargen of yesandyes.org. We've all seen those hand-lettered quotes floating around Pinterest, haven't we? Write your own definition of success. Or, success is photo collage of six-pack abs, checked-off lists, and lattes. If you're anything like me, you nod at your computer screen. You think, yes, I should write my own definition of success.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_01] Then, we forget about it. We go back to subconsciously believing the version of success marketed by every magazine, TV show, and movie. And based on those standards, we're doing life wrong. Took me years to realize that I, like everyone else ever, had quietly absorbed all these ideas about success. I'd watched enough sitcoms to know that success looks like stainless steel kitchen appliances and European cars.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_01] I'd read enough women's magazines to know success looks like a high, tight butt and a high-earning husband. I'd been an American long enough to know that success looks like a six-figure salary, two and a half children, and good teeth. I never opted into these beliefs. They seeped into me by osmosis. But somehow, one day, a light switch flipped on in my brain.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_01] I realized that if I actually wrote my own definition of success, it'd probably be a lot easier to achieve and a lot more fulfilling once I got there. At the risk of rhyming and making you roll your eyes, if you can't name it, you can't claim it. Want to know what my version of success looks like? If I wanted to, I could buy my groceries at Whole Foods. I mean, I probably won't ever do this, but I could if I wanted to. When I travel to a city where friends live,

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01] I stay with them because I want to see them, not because the trip would otherwise be unaffordable. My home is filled with lovely, meaningful things. I have a closet of carefully chosen items that make me feel beautiful. My friends are smart, kind, inspiring humans. I can choose the projects and clients I take on. I wake up when I want to, rather than getting up to an alarm. I can handle unexpected expenses like car repairs or doctor's visits.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_01] I sleep eight hours a night, and if I don't, I can sleep in or take a nap. I can afford regular pedicures, massages, and DIY writing retreats. I can buy really great gifts for the people I love. I can afford hair products and real bras, aka not the $12 bras from Target. I can run up flights of stairs without wanting to die. I can touch my toes without straining. I can keep wearing the same size of old navy rockstar jeans I always buy.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_01] Anyway, I'm sure by a lot of standards I'm not necessarily successful. I have a weird internet job most people don't understand. I have an MA I don't use. We rent our house. I drive a 2008 Prius. 90% of my belongings come from Craigslist or Goodwill. But you know what? I get to define success for myself, and based on my definition, I'm killing it. When we actually literally define what success looks like to us,

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_01] surprise, it's a lot easier to feel successful. If you're ready to literally write your own definition of success, here are some questions to help you get started. How to define success for yourself. Number one, how will life look and feel when you're professionally successful? Will you head a team of 40 people? Do you have freedom to accept only the work you're passionate about? Is your work regularly featured in high-profile places? Do you speak at events?

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_01] Are you a frequently referenced expert? Will you have tons of responsibility? Have you built a career that covers your expenses? Can you leave work at the office and not think about it again till Monday? Number two, how will life look and feel when you're successful in your social and personal life? Is your inbox packed with more party invites than you can handle? Do you have two to three close friends who would help you bury bodies and provide alibis?

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_01] Could you walk into an event and know half the people? Would you have a sweetheart who challenges you, supports you, makes you laugh, gives you butterflies and the blushes? Number three, how will life look and feel when you've got your health and wellness figured out? Are you finally sleeping well? Are you wearing a certain clothing size? Can you lift a specific amount or run a certain distance? Have you found a type of movement or exercise you enjoy?

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_01] Have you finally gotten that nagging health issue under control? Can you say, yep, I'm the healthiest version of myself right now? Number four, how will life look and feel when you're financially successful? Are you living in a different neighborhood? Is your living space bigger, prettier, brighter? Have you paid off a huge specific debt? Are you earning X amount of dollars? Can you afford to hire a housekeeper, a bookkeeper, a nanny?

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01] Can you pay for a huge trip, a new car, or your parents' health care? And number five, how will life look and feel when you've mastered your emotions and your inner workings? Are you less hung up on what other people think? Have you forgiven someone you held a grudge against? Have you had a hard conversation you were putting off? Have you started and maintained a gratitude practice or a meditation practice? Are you going to therapy and making progress? Have you made peace with your past?

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_01] It's okay if, after careful consideration, you discover that your version of success looks a lot like a white picket fence in the suburbs, two and a half kids, and a golden retriever. It's also okay if you realize that all you need to feel successful is a weekly latte, a sunny living room, and yearly trips to somewhere with water. Here's a probably obvious but often ignored next step. Once you know what success looks like for you,

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_01] take a few tiny doable steps to get closer. If success looks like waking up without an alarm, ask HR if you could switch to a more flexible schedule. If success looks like a busier social calendar, make an active effort to start making more friends. Yes, even though it's sort of awkward. If success looks like a healthier savings account, stop making so many regrettable purchases. You're smart. You get the idea.

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_01] You just listened to the post titled, How to Define Success for Yourself. No, but really. By Sarah Von Bargen of yesandyes.org. I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Sarah. Sarah, I feel like we've had some more posts recently about making sure we define what we want our lives to look like as opposed to letting others dictate it for us. I think that's the journey I've been on since 2015 personally with this podcast.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_01] At first, there's definitely more focus on download stats and trying to reach a specific amount of income. But over the years and reading thousands of articles, that part has definitely sunk in for me. I'm very sure I would have already bought a new car if it weren't for this type of content, for example. Like she said, it's kind of just seeped in through osmosis. And when she was talking about osmosis, it was the opposite.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_01] The unwritten laws about needing to have certain things is what seeped in through TV and whatnot. But it works the other way too. When you hear it enough, it becomes second nature. That's what's been happening with me reading these articles for years and hopefully it's happening for you too. She really hit on the point of this podcast. So thank you again to Sarah for this one. Thank you for listening and being here every day. I really appreciate you learning along with me. Wouldn't be able to do it without you. So it means a lot that you're here.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_01] Have a great rest of your day. I'll be back for the Thursday show tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits. Arurg. 해왔 .�i fait. But, BMW,