3487: The Scientific Approach to Changing Your Life by Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive on Personal Development

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[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily, the Scientific Approach to Changing Your Life by Dr. Lisa Firestone of psychalive.org and I'm Justin Malek. I'm going to jump right into today's post as we optimize your life. The Scientific Approach to Changing Your Life by Dr. Lisa Firestone of psychalive.org.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_00] Last year, a poll indicated that only one in three Americans is reportedly very happy. Maybe this surprises you or maybe it doesn't, but what it likely tells us is that the majority of the population is looking for a change. Whether it's their job, their relationship, their city, or themselves, most people have something on their minds that's leaving them less than fulfilled. And as the saying goes, real change begins with us.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00] Last year, New York Magazine reported self-help to be an $11 billion industry. Millions of people are attempting to make significant changes every day. What most of these people may not know is that there is an actual science that reveals how lasting change is possible. Psychologist Dr. John Norcross has been collecting data on what works when it comes to making real changes.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00] Backed by 30 years of intensive research, Dr. Norcross wrote the book, Changeology, Five Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions. So, how do you start this process? For one thing, you have to know exactly where you're at in relation to your goals. Dr. Norcross says there are five possible stages you may be in in regard to making changes.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00] Pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. He draws on scientific findings to show what works and what doesn't in each of these stages. If you don't know which of these places you're in, you may be more likely to slip up or fail. Many people find that they can reach a certain point in their goals before backtracking. They're on a path to success, then suddenly do something to self-sabotage.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00] The process of procrastinating or indulging, then punishing ourselves, can be a vicious cycle. We all have a critical inner voice that coaches us towards self-destructive behaviors that counter what we really want. Go ahead and have another cookie. You deserve it, the voice will whisper when we're trying to lose weight. That same voice that lures us to steer off course berates us when we fail. Well, there you go again, eating like a pig, you'll always be a fat loser.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00] To help stop this self-sabotaging cycle, Dr. Norcross suggests methods to identify which of the five stages a person is in. If someone is in pre-contemplation, for example, they may feel pressured by others to change, but are mostly not aware of or resistant to altering their behaviors. According to Norcross, people in this state probably shouldn't attempt to take action. They're not really ready for change. Now, if someone is in the contemplation stage,

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_00] they may be starting to think about changes they could make, but still feel ambivalent or lack confidence. Norcross says this could be a time to review the pros and cons of changing. A person can start to prepare or get tools in order for future actions he or she would take in the next stage, preparation. Just like it sounds, preparation means you intend to start making change soon.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00] Individuals can set the scene for action by making sure they have the time, energy, and support they'll need to move forward. They can begin to set dates and goals, and even alert others of their intentions. Finally, the time for action comes, and this is when the person starts to make changes. During this transition, people should anticipate that their critical inner voice will initially get louder.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00] It'll yell and scream like the wicked witch after she was doused with water in The Wizard of Oz. However, they must remember that, like the witch, the voice will slowly melt away as they persevere in their goals. During this process, they'll want a healthy outlet and support system to help them deal with the fear and anxiety that accompanies the excitement of evolving into who they want to be. Once someone has made a change, they'll need a plan to prevent relapse.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00] A person's critical inner voices will be present at every state of change, including the maintenance phase. By learning tools to combat this inner critic, knowing his tricks and ignoring its directives, the person is in a much stronger position to create and sustain real change. Organizing a support team made up of people in their life who support their goals is an essential part of relapse prevention. These individuals see the person in a compassionate light,

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00] and when he or she is around them, the critical inner voice is quieted. The important thing to remember is that change is a process, not just a single action. Change is rarely linear. There are twists and turns. It's frightening to change, especially when you're going out on a limb to go after your own unique goals. In this process, you realize who you really are, separate from society, family, or any other outside influences.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00] You differentiate from old influences or identities and become your true self. On this journey, you'll have to face the scary reality that your own mind can be your own worst enemy. Yet, by practicing self-compassion and following an organized scientific strategy that yields the best results, you can feel empowered to make authentic, satisfying, and lasting change. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00] The Scientific Approach to Changing Your Life, by Dr. Lisa Firestone of PsychAlive.org, and I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Dr. Lisa Firestone. I'm guessing since we often have many different goals, we can be in different stages for each goal. I don't think she mentioned this, but I think it's probably common for us to get stuck in one stage or two stages, depending on what the goal is. So, for example, if the goal has to do with exercise,

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00] maybe we're quick to start something and get excited about a new program, so we find pre-contemplation mostly skipped over, and then we end up rarely in the action stage because we burn out or relapse for one reason or another, and we fall back a stage. Or with diet, maybe we feel like it's information overload, so we never get into the action stage. We're just stuck in contemplation. But I think knowing where we tend to get stuck

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00] could help us figure out the solution and get past it. It just might take a little digging. So try to do that digging today and see what comes up. And with that, hope you're having a great start to your weekend. Thank you for being here. And an extra thank you if you've ever shared this show with someone. That goes a really long way to keep this going. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you over the weekend, where your optimal life awaits.