3497: Have You Been Spending All Your Money on Something Free? by Elsie with Keep Thrifty

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_01] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_01] So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily. Have you been spending all your money on something free? By Elsie with KeepThrifty.com. And I'm Justin Malik. I read to you every day of the year, including holidays, but on Sundays I share an extra episode from a different podcast in our Optimal Network.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_01] And today's episode is coming from our podcast covering all things money, Optimal Finance Daily. So with that, let's get right to the bonus episode and Diana's commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_02] Have you been spending all your money on something free? By Elsie with KeepThrifty.com. As a personal finance writer, you'd think I mostly write about saving and investing. Maybe a budget here and there. What I end up writing about most often, though, is happiness, contentedness, and fulfillment. The reason why I end up writing about these things is it's the number one way people get off track with money. They mistake wants for needs and luxuries for necessities.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_02] As Mr. Money Mustache puts it, If your life doesn't suck in a way that would be improved by an object, that object isn't going to make you happier. If I have to walk five miles to work every day, any car would improve my personal happiness quite a bit. But if I already have a car, an Audi will not increase my happiness. We are irrational human beings, and we forget this simple fact over and over and over again.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_02] So I make sure to bring it into consciousness as often as I can. Happiness and joy The other day, a wise friend of mine got to talking about happiness. Specifically, he was talking about the differences between happiness and joy. Joy is getting into a new car or drinking an expensive champagne, whereas happiness is just a general theme to your being in the world. Joy is the little emotional highs. Happiness is a state of being.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_02] There are things we do that give us joy. Things like helping an old lady across the street or doing volunteer work. There are also other types of acts that give us joy that aren't so virtuous. Things like buying a new stereo or getting Christmas gifts can make us quite joyful. Of course, joy is not just for people with money. It's a part of everyone's lives, no matter the income. Imagine there are some countries where no one has ever seen an iPod.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_02] Those people are just as joyful, happy, and fulfilled as we are. Their lack of electronics has not affected their joy one bit. The sandwich taping technique In the personal finance community, we tend to talk a lot about happiness, but we rarely talk about joy. After all, if you aren't happy, what's the point? $500,000 in the bank is amazing, but if you're miserable, it wasn't really worth it.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_02] The issue is that the untrained brain can't commonly differentiate between happiness and joy. We all seem to believe that things that make us feel good will make us happy. Simple concept, right? Not so much. Turns out that seeking joyful experiences will make you joyful. That is, you'll feel a lighter mood and a sense of exhilaration for a short time. That in itself is not a bad thing. After all, our time on Earth is filled with these small experiences,

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_02] which together make up a fulfilled life. I think we know innately that short-term highs from joy won't make us happy. It's just that it's so much easier to seek satisfaction from outside sources. Who wants to look inward and discover they're not happy? Surely this new Ford F-150 will do the trick. As I've quoted from George Carlin in the past, trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body, end quote.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_02] The answers you seek can only be inside you. Joy costs zero dollars. So now that I've been a downer about happiness and all, I have good news for you. Happiness and joy cost zero dollars. You know those Beats by Dre headphones you wanted so much for Christmas? Statistically speaking, you'd probably get just as much joy from playing a board game with your family. That just seems terribly unfair, I know.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_02] We've been spending a bunch of money on something that was free the whole time. In those two separate categories of joy I mentioned earlier, which one do you think we commonly pursue? That's right, we pursue joy from buying stuff way more often than the simple zero dollar joys we get from interpersonal relationships and learning. There is a pervasive joy-seeking mentality in our society, one that encourages us to buy stuff that will give us a joyful experience.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_02] The problem is, joy is not a state of being and it won't stick around to keep you happy. You are okay, really. We are biologically set up to be okay. Every human in history has experienced joy, wealthy and destitute, sickness and health, big house or small house. Every human is born with the capacity for great happiness and intense joy. As young kids, we do a great job of getting joy from simple things like playing tag.

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_02] As we grow up, it seems we get deeply complicated. Our contentment gets wrapped up in all this outward gratification. Suddenly, we're jaded to simple happiness. We don't notice the sunset. We're too busy to appreciate small pleasures. In that cluttered state of mind, it's no wonder we suddenly need big purchases to create joy. We get disconnected and it's no fault of our own. Just remember that the next time you're not feeling okay for whatever reason,

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_02] you are okay. You have everything you need to experience joy within you. It generally takes getting your thoughts and expectations out of the way to experience what's actually there at the moment. The present moment. I would argue that the reason we're left feeling unhappy much of the time is that our brain doesn't stick around to experience what's actually going on. We get very good at planning, anticipating and problem solving and it doesn't leave much room to sit back and relax.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_02] It's kind of a strange concept to consider the present moment. I know I thought I was always present for what was happening. Then I sat down to meditate and realized my brain is in the future about 99% of the time. The other 1%, I just stub my toe and I'm writhing in pain. My brain is so trained to go over fears of the future that I don't even know that I'm doing it anymore. I live in a state of worry and panic over things that will never come to pass.

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_02] That's an awesome happiness-killing system. What I've learned over the last several months is that the more I can get myself out of the way, my judgments, my plans, my fears, the more I can experience simple joy. The only place I get to experience joy is now. Joy doesn't exist anywhere else except the present moment. And so if we're never here, we're constantly missing the party. Super duper serious.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_02] I'm the first person to point out someone who takes themselves too seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself, come hang out with me. I'll laugh at you. When getting on track financially, it's really easy to get overly controlled and backed into a corner, so to speak. The core values behind frugality and financial independence are actually freedom and happiness. We want to get into a financial position such that we can make the decisions that are best for our satisfaction and well-being.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_02] So don't shut yourself out of joy by being a tightwad. I believe humans are the only beings that fancy themselves to be important. Our little thoughts and feelings are so very pressing. Here's one of my favorite quotes. Take hold of your own life. See that the whole existence is celebrating. The trees are not serious. The birds are not serious. The rivers and oceans are wild. And everywhere there is fun. Everywhere there is joy and delight.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_02] Watch existence. Listen to the existence and become part of it. End quote. How much money have you spent taping sandwiches everywhere? How much joy have you missed by not being present? How long are you going to continue missing out on all the happiness and joy you pass up each day? Hint, none of this will cost money. You just listened to the post titled, Have You Been Spending All Your Money On Something Free?

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_02] By Elsie with KeepThrifty.com.

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[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_02] Yesterday I was being interviewed on another podcast and I was asked how I was able to reduce my expenses without feeling deprived. I explained that I needed to have a mindset shift and reorient myself around this idea that the best things in life are free. A few bits of knowledge helped me achieve this mindset shift. Firstly, I realized that the happiness we get from buying something new is short-lived and fades quickly.

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_02] This phenomenon is known as the hedonic treadmill or hedonic adaptation, where we quickly adapt to new stimuli and need more to achieve the same level of happiness. I also started prioritizing experiences over material possessions. According to a study conducted by San Francisco State University, people who spend money on experiences rather than material things were happier and felt their money was better spent.

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_02] They found that experiences satisfied higher-level needs, like personal growth and relationships, whereas material things satisfied lower-level needs, like safety and esteem. And finally, I realized that much of our consumerism is rooted in feeling a sense of lack or inadequacy. Research has shown that people who regularly practice gratitude are happier and more fulfilled. Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have,

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_02] which leads to increased joy and contentment. You don't need to resist a desire to buy more if you're simply satisfied with the material abundance you already have. That brings us to the end of today's episode, though. Thank you so much for listening all the way through, and I'll catch you tomorrow on our next episode, where your optimal life awaits. Thank you so much for listening.