3502: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - A Helpful Guide by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00] So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, My Helpful Guide by Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist.com and I'm Justin Malik.

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_00] Welcome to the podcast where I read to you, where I read to you, where I read to you, covering mental health and self-help topics like mindfulness, happiness, productivity and minimalism. And we get right to our post for today as we optimize your life. How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, a helpful guide by Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist.com.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00] Quote, Comparison is the thief of joy. Theodore Roosevelt. I've struggled with it most of my life. Typically, I blame it on having a twin brother who is five inches taller with much broader shoulders. But if I was being truly honest, more likely it's simply a character flaw hidden somewhere deep in my heart. I've lived most of my life comparing myself to others. At first, it was school and sports.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_00] But as I got older, I began comparing other metrics. Job title, income level, house size, and worldly successes. I've discovered there's an infinite number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. And with how flooded we are by social media, it's easier than ever to constantly find someone better to compare ourselves to, which only serves to make us feel bad about ourselves.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00] Once we begin down that road, we never find an end. The tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion. Certainly, I'm not alone in my experience. But it is a decision that only steals joy from our lives. And it's a habit with numerous shortcomings. Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_00] Comparisons, by definition, require metrics. But only a fool believes every good thing can be counted or measured. Comparisons rob us of precious time. We each get 86,400 seconds each day. And using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many. You're too unique to compare fairly.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_00] Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else. You have nothing to gain but much to lose. For example, your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion. There's no end to the possible number of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00] There will also be something or someone else to focus on. Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can control one life, yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other people's lives rather than our own. Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves. And comparisons deprive us of joy.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00] They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract from it. Indeed, the negative effects of comparisons are wide and far-reaching. Likely you've experienced or are experiencing many of them firsthand in your life as well. How then might we break free from this habit of comparison? Tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others. How do you stop constantly comparing yourself to others?

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00] Here's some useful tips that have worked really well. Number one, be aware of its ill effects. Take notice of the harmful effects comparing yourself to others has on your life. Intentionally remove it from the inside out to free yourself from the damage this mindset has had on you. Number two, see your own successes. Whether you're a writer, musician, doctor, landscaper, mother, or student,

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_00] you have a unique perspective backed by unique experiences and unique gifts. You have the capacity to love, serve, and contribute. You have everything you need to accomplish good in your little section of the world. With that opportunity squarely in front of you, become intimately aware of your past successes and find motivation in them to pursue more. Number three, desire the greater things in life.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_00] Some of the greatest treasures in this world are hidden from sight, love, humility, empathy, selflessness, generosity. Among these higher pursuits, there is no measurement. Desire them above everything else and remove yourself entirely from society's definition of success. Number four, compete less and appreciate more. There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00] We've all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. And the sooner we stop competing against others to win, the faster we can start working together to figure it out. The first and most important step in overcoming the habit of competition is to routinely appreciate and compliment the contribution of others. Number five, practice gratitude.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00] Gratitude always forces us to recognize the good things we already have in our world. Number six, remind yourself nobody is perfect. While focusing on the negatives is rarely as helpful as focusing on the positives, there is important space to be found remembering that nobody is perfect and nobody is living a painless life. Triumph requires an obstacle to be overcome. And everybody is suffering through their own, whether you're close enough to know it or not.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00] Number seven, take a walk. Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, get up and change your surroundings. Go for a walk, even if only to the other side of the room. Allow the change in your surroundings to prompt change in your thinking. Number eight, find inspiration without comparison. Comparing our lives with others is foolish, but finding inspiration and learning from others is entirely wise.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_00] Work hard to learn the difference. Humbly ask questions of the people you admire or read biographies as inspiration. But if comparison is a consistent tendency in your life, notice which attitudes prompt positive change and which result in negative influence. And number nine, compare with yourself. We ought to strive to be the best possible versions of ourselves, not only for our own selves, but for the benefit and contribution we can offer to others.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_00] Work hard to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Commit to growing a little bit each day and learn to celebrate the little advancements you're making without comparing them to others. With so many negative effects inherent in comparison, it's a shame we ever take part in it. But the struggle is real for most of us. Fortunately, it does not need to be. And the freedom found in comparing less is entirely worth the effort.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00] Stop comparing yourself to everyone else's highlight reels. You just listened to the post titled, How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others, A Helpful Guide, by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com. I'll be right back with my commentary. As a small business owner, you never clock out and neither does LinkedIn Jobs. While you're running your business, LinkedIn Jobs is running a powerful search for your next great hire.

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[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_00] Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more. Thank you to Joshua. Some of the suggestions might be more abstract or trickier to implement than others, but all good things to think about. So for example, having a gratitude practice can be really easy. We've definitely talked about this on the show before. And it's relatively straightforward to implement. Maybe before bed, just thinking of three things you're grateful for. I actually do this myself most nights

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_00] and it's a simple practice that can make a difference. I say most nights because sometimes I'll be thinking about it and then fall asleep. But in those cases, I know I was really tired and needed to sleep, which is totally fine. Usually I'm grateful for falling asleep anyway. But then there are trickier ones he mentioned, like finding inspiration without comparison. That's much harder, I think. But as usual, I'm hoping that these reminders

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_00] can slowly over time become more ingrained in us. It's pretty much the purpose of this podcast. If we keep hearing these good things day after day, much of it eventually just becomes our way of being. There are many ways it's changed my life and hopefully it's doing that for yours too. So with that, thank you for being here and optimizing your life along with me. Hope you have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.