3507: Of Course It's Unreasonable, Dummy by Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists on Personal Growth

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[00:00:29] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:55] So press play on Good Sleep tonight, because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app, and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. It's a Minimalist Monday edition of Optimal Living Daily. Of course it's Unreasonable, Dummy, by Joshua Fields Milburn of TheMinimalist.com, and your narrator Justin Malek. And we keep this intro minimal for Minimalist Monday, so let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:28] Of course it's Unreasonable, Dummy, by Joshua Fields Milburn of TheMinimalist.com. I recently imagined an elaborate conversation between my 27-year-old self and my 30-year-old self, myself from yesteryear versus myself from today. Sadly, it was not a pretty exchange. Suffice it to say, there was a vast ideological dichotomy between these two guys. Looking down on their tête-à-tête from my omniscient point of view, this is a small chunk of what I observed.

[00:01:57] My 27-year-old self had it all figured out. He could do no wrong. He was too confident, read Arrogant, for his own good. He had the high-paying job, the fancy title, the status of a young corporate executive, the long-term career goals, the short-term spend-more-money-than-I-make goals, the big house, the fancy cars, the big-screen TVs, and all the stuff that was eventually going to make him happy once all the puzzle pieces fit perfectly.

[00:02:25] My 30-year-old self had it all figured out too, but in a radically different way. He knew he had figured it all out as soon as he had stopped trying to figure it all out. He knew he didn't know everything, nor would he ever, but he knew that with every year that passed, he would continue to grow. The slightly older man also found a certain amount of contempt for the younger man, and it was hard for him to hide this disdain.

[00:02:50] He couldn't believe how his self of yesteryear placed so much importance in material possessions, while he didn't value the most important things in life, health, relationships, passions, growth, and contribution. With that contempt also came pity from the older man, pity for a man who was lost but didn't know he was lost. More than anything, the older man sympathized with the younger man because he had been on the same path a few years earlier. The two men talked for a while, stating their points of view.

[00:03:20] Both men had passionate, seemingly valid arguments and rationalizations for their persuasions, and they each had their incontrovertible dogmas, more so they thought. There was one gaping difference between these two men, and you could see it in the younger man's eyes. The 27-year-old man was not happy. Sure, he wore a mantle of happiness and experienced short bursts of pleasure or satisfaction, but he wasn't truly happy inside. And all the fancy things in the world weren't going to make him content.

[00:03:48] If anything, those things only increased his requirement for more things to pacify a deeper problem. These two men talked about happiness. The younger man wasn't sure why he was unhappy. He had everything society told him he was supposed to have, right? The older man suggested that contentment was found within, and that no amount of external factors were going to permute the discontentment within. The older man attempted to share what he had learned over the last couple years.

[00:04:15] He shared how he found contentment in his relationships with his close friends, how he found satisfaction in growing as an individual and contributing to other people in meaningful ways, how he found happiness in pursuing his passions, not pursuing more stuff. So, you just left your high-paying job, got rid of most of your stuff, and started living a meaningful life? The younger man asked in a half-mocking, cynical tone. Yes, it didn't happen overnight, though. It took a couple years of focus.

[00:04:44] A few years of being conscious. A few years of being aware of what's truly important. I had to make a fundamental shift in the way I live my- But most people aren't living that way, the younger man interrupted with a raised voice. He was heated. He felt his way of life, his entire identity, was being questioned. After all, he had worked so hard to get all the stuff he had, to get the identity he now possessed. And who the f*** are you to tell me my lifestyle is wrong? Who the f*** are you to tell me how to live my life?

[00:05:12] I'm not telling you how to live your life. I'm simply stating the obvious. What you're doing right now is not making you happy. Nor are you on the path to happiness. The path you are on leads to more discontent. I know, because I've been down the same path. Until you focus on what's important, until you focus on what's going on inside you, you won't be happy. Whatever, giving up this lifestyle just to pursue my passion seems incredibly unreasonable, the younger man shouted.

[00:05:40] Of course it's unreasonable, dummy, the older man snapped back. Being unhappy and discontent is completely reasonable within our society. We see it every day. Being reasonable means lowering your standards. Being reasonable means doing what everyone else expects you to do. Being reasonable means living an average life. But I'd rather be extraordinarily unreasonable and content and happy. I'd rather live a meaningful, albeit unreasonable, life.

[00:06:09] Get unreasonable and everything's possible. Forget about being reasonable. Being reasonable got me into the same pile of... You're in now. You just listened to the post titled, Of Course It's Unreasonable, Dummy, by Joshua Fields Milburn of TheMinimalists.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. As a small business owner, you never clock out and neither does LinkedIn Jobs.

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[00:07:30] That's linkedin.com slash selection to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Thank you, Joshua. A great story. It reminded me of how I used to track my mood. I know I've brought it up on the show before. I actually tracked my mood every single day for I think it was around a year or so. And what I discovered was pretty eye-opening to me at least. Might be obvious after the fact. But the highest-rated days weren't when I bought something new.

[00:08:00] They were almost always days spent connecting with other people. Whether it was time with family, friends, or even just meaningful conversations. Those were consistently the days that felt most fulfilling. The caveat that I always say with this, though, is that that doesn't mean we should spend every spare moment we have trying to connect with people. Some of us are introverts and need that alone time to recharge. But if you feel like something's missing, that's probably where I'd start.

[00:08:29] Our social connections. And I don't think we need to completely give up our jobs or get rid of everything we own to find happiness. It's more about being aware of where we're putting our energy and what we're expecting to make us happy. Sometimes just that awareness can make a big difference. So maybe today we can think about what truly brings us joy. And be honest with ourselves about whether we're putting our time and energy into those things. For me, it's been a journey of realizing that

[00:08:59] the simple things like having these conversations with you through this podcast often bring the most satisfaction. So a good one to think about today as we start the week. And with that, have a great start to your week. And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.