3513: Become Happy in the Face of Physical Misery by Leo Babauta Personal Growth and Gratitude

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Become Happy in the Face of Physical Misery by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, except on the extra Sunday bonus episodes. That's where I share an episode from a different podcast in the Optimal Living Daily Network. Today's coming from my brother's show, Optimal Health Daily. You can find and follow or subscribe to Optimal Health Daily wherever you're listening to this.

[00:00:27] Now let's get right to the bonus episode as we optimize your life. Become Happy in the Face of Physical Misery by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net Last week, I came down with a bad case of poison oak rash. Now, that might not sound that bad, but this rash covered all over my body, including places best left undiscussed. And also, my face, eyes, and mouth.

[00:00:56] It's not pretty. And while I won't go into details, it's pretty disgusting and miserable. I have to admit, it's frustrating. I live a pretty healthy life, eating lots of vegetables and whole foods, very little sugar and refined carbs or processed foods, and get plenty of exercise, meditation, and more. My health is usually under my control. But for almost a week now, it hasn't been. This weekend, as I examined my body that is giving me so much physical discomfort and stress,

[00:01:25] I thought about what was making me unhappy. And if this were the case for the rest of my life, would I just be unhappy all the time? I considered people who have physical ailments all the time. There are plenty of people whose bodies are out of their control, who cannot physically feel good most of the time, who have illnesses and miseries every day. I'm very lucky compared to them. So here's the process I've been going through to help me be happier,

[00:01:51] with a note that I constantly fail at this process and have to try it again. I'm not perfect at it, but being perfect at it isn't the point. Learning as I go through it is the point. 1. Let go What am I holding on to? Two things mainly. The idea of myself as healthy and comfortable, and the expectation that life should be without physical discomfort. My idea of myself as healthy is something that I have built up over the past 8 years.

[00:02:20] So when reality goes against this idea, I struggle. My expectation of life as something without pain, discomfort, itchiness, and some other gross things I won't mention, it's fairly strong. It's hard to let go of these things. Why let go of them? Because they are causing me more pain than the physical ailment itself. The real pain I've been going through is my inability to accept reality, and my desire for life to be a certain way. I want it my way.

[00:02:48] And when I can't control that, which is pretty much all the time, I feel frustration, anger, depression, and stress. Lots of stress. This applies to everything, not just physical ailments, but when anything doesn't go the way I want it to. So what's the process for letting go? So it's first, realizing that I'm holding on to something. Then second, realizing what it is I'm holding on to. And third, realizing it's causing me pain.

[00:03:17] Then fourth, realizing that the thing I'm holding on to isn't necessarily true. I'm not necessarily always a healthy person. I'm not always in comfort. This isn't the way life should be. And in fact, it's not the way life always is. This is a repeated process, because two minutes after letting go, I find myself desiring it again. I practice. Two, accept what is. Once I let go of what I want things to be,

[00:03:47] I learn to accept reality. What is. This isn't always easy. Reality doesn't match up with my fantasy or ideal of what life should be. I have to just see things for what they are and accept them. Be grateful they are the way they are. Learn from what is. This can be difficult, because we tend to want to control things, not accept them. Acceptance is seen as surrendering, passive, and giving up. And yes, it's a bit of each of these. But it's not the end.

[00:04:17] Just because you accept doesn't mean you don't act. It means you start with acceptance, then figure out the best way to act, based on a place of peace and acceptance. Acceptance isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing. It means you're at peace with reality. So, I stop running away from the current moment and just try to see with curiosity what actually is. And it's not as bad as I'd feared. The fear, the resistance, the not wanting is by far the worst part.

[00:04:48] And three, act with gratitude and compassion. The next step in my process is to be grateful for what I have and to act with compassion. What does this mean? When I'm miserable, it's because I'm focusing on the things I see as bad, but I'm ignoring all the things I should be grateful for, like being alive, being able to walk, being able to love, being loved, having friends, having a job I love. The list is endless.

[00:05:16] I can find that gratitude and focus on actions I can take that show that gratitude. If I'm constantly complaining internally about how miserable I am, that's not a grateful action. If instead I seize the awesome life I have and do something good with it, that's showing my gratitude for what I have. Acting in compassion is what I try to do when I have accepted the moment. Just because you let go and then accept doesn't mean you don't act.

[00:05:43] It means you start from a place of acceptance of what actually is and then decide how to act from there. Compassion is my guide for how to act from that place. How do I act in compassion when my body is full of discomfort? Well, I can be compassionate with my body and take care of it. I can be compassionate with myself and give myself rest if I need it. Or I can be compassionate with others and stop focusing on myself so much. I can find ways to alleviate the suffering of people around me

[00:06:13] or find ways to take what I'm learning and share it with all of you and hope that it helps someone. Acting in compassion can take the focus off of yourself and put it somewhere that brings good in the world. You just listened to the post titled Become Happy in the Face of Physical Misery by Leo Babauta of zenhabits.net Dr. Neil here for my commentary. It was so odd when I first read this post. I thought to myself,

[00:06:43] Wow, it's like Leo is reading my mind. This was especially true when he wrote about how he holds onto two main ideas about himself. That he's generally healthy and comfortable and the expectation that life should be without physical discomfort. This is how I often feel about myself. I mean, I host a daily podcast on the importance of health and wellness for goodness sakes. Shouldn't I basically be in good health and be free of physical discomfort at least like 99% of the time? In fact, I'm going to share something with you.

[00:07:13] I realized the other day that I was starting to feel anxious about COVID and about how new cases were starting to climb again. I thought about how if I were to get sick with COVID, that it would somehow be my fault. That I would be a failure in your eyes. Here, I'm supposed to be a so-called health expert. And yet if I were to get sick, it would seem like I really don't know what I'm talking about. But the reality is, I'm human. I'm not a superhero, no matter how hard I wish I was.

[00:07:42] And like all humans, despite our best efforts, we get sick. It happens. But I had trouble letting these feelings go. As Leo said in today's article, I stopped having compassion for myself. I was so caught up in this fear, I forgot about expressing gratitude. Now eventually, I did climb out of this funk. Basically through the same methods that Leo described in today's article. If I had read this article a month ago, I may have come out of this funk even sooner. Alright, thank you so much for being here.

[00:08:12] Thank you for listening every day. Thank you for sharing this show with someone. I hope you're having a great week so far. And I'll see you back here tomorrow, where optimal life awaits.