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Episode 3524:
Melissa Camara Wilkins explores the hidden burdens of perfectionism and how the relentless pursuit of flawlessness can lead to stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction. By embracing imperfection and focusing on progress over perfection, we can cultivate a more fulfilling and balanced life. Letting go of unrealistic standards allows for greater creativity, self-compassion, and genuine personal growth.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://nosidebar.com/perfection/
Quotes to ponder:
"Perfectionism is a relentless taskmaster, always demanding more but never offering satisfaction."
"When we stop chasing perfection, we open ourselves to joy, creativity, and meaningful progress."
"True fulfillment comes not from flawlessness, but from embracing the beautifully imperfect journey of life."
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[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Why Im Not Waiting on Perfection by Melissa Camara Wilkins with NoSidebar.com And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every day, including holidays. For now, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. Why Im Not Waiting on Perfection by Melissa Camara Wilkins with NoSidebar.com Quote,
[00:00:27] I'm talking about living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear. Elizabeth Gilbert from Big Magic I dove into Elizabeth Gilbert's book, Big Magic, this week. Have you read it? It's a book about creative living and there's a dare in there that I think applies to all of us whether we think of ourselves as artists or not. Gilbert writes, I've watched far too many brilliant and gifted female creators say,
[00:00:55] I am 99.8% qualified for this task, but until I master that last smidgen of ability, I will hold myself back just to be on the safe side. Now, I cannot imagine where women ever got the idea that they must be perfect in order to be loved or successful. Haha, just kidding. I can totally imagine. We got it from every single message society has ever sent us. Thanks, all of human history. End quote. Yeah, thanks. I bet some men can relate too.
[00:01:20] See, even if you don't paint or write or sing, you are a creative person. You are the designer of your life. That is a creative project. So if we're designing our lives, but we hold back until we've figured every last thing out, when do we actually start living? If you're trying to be perfect, you can't experiment. You can't play. You can't create anything because you have to stay inside the lines. You can only consume. You choose your labels. I'm a minimalist.
[00:01:49] I'm a homesteader. I'm a writer. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a yogi. I'm a musician. And you try to apply them perfectly. You make sure to stay within the bounds because if you don't, you might get called out on your 0.2%. But your life is not a thing to consume. Your life is a creative project. I don't know about you, but my life doesn't fit neatly into labels and boxes. I feel weird even calling myself a minimalist because the word means different things to different people.
[00:02:18] Some definitions don't apply to me at all. Some definitions, I'm nowhere close to 99.8%. And I don't want to be. There are enough dishes on my kitchen shelves to feed my six kids plus another whole family all at the same time because we do that. I have groups of family photos on the walls. And I like them there. And what's more, my kids have Legos. My goal in life is not actually to be a perfect minimalist. And yet I still sometimes feel like someone is going to walk up to me with a checklist.
[00:02:48] Do you live with colorful, not white furniture or paint? Are there more than two wooden spoons in your kitchen? Do your kids have toys with pieces? Or heck, maybe even do you have kids? Sorry, you're out. Please turn in your minimalist credentials at the door. I know that's missing the point. The point isn't to achieve some supreme level of minimalist living. Designing a simple life isn't about the details of what's allowed and what isn't. How many sheets in the linen cupboard? Wait, are you allowed to have a linen cupboard?
[00:03:17] The point is to design a life that's right for you. One that majors in the most important stuff and lets go of the less than essential. So how about we decide to be more driven by curiosity about that 99.8% than by fear about the point too? What if we spent more time thinking about the good that can come from that 99% or 60% and less thinking about the embarrassment that might come from the other side? When you design a life that's driven by curiosity, not fear,
[00:03:46] number one, you can create a life that works for you. Fear tells us we have to follow the rules. Curiosity leads us to question everything. You can let go of expectations, forget about other people's opinions, and get curious about what really works for you. It might not be the same as what works for someone else, but curiosity doesn't care whether you match up to some ideal, read imaginary, definition of how to live your life. Number two, you can make true connections.
[00:04:14] When you stop trying to be perfect, you can be a person. Nobody's perfect. And being okay with your own imperfection is one of the fastest ways to connect with other people because they're imperfect too. Number three, you can celebrate other people. When you let yourself off the hook for not following the rules, even the minimalist rules, you can give that same grace to everybody else. You can celebrate the people around you and the paths that they're on instead of comparing to see how you each measure up.
[00:04:44] Number four, there's no shame in your game. Fear comes from a place of not good enough, but you're worthy of belonging and connection no matter what labels you use or don't. Curiosity lets you move beyond that whole fear-shame spiral into a new way of being. You don't have to worry about whether you meet the criteria for being a real minimalist. You can just get right to deciding what's essential and what's not for the real you. And number five, you can approach your life from a place of ease.
[00:05:13] Keep what you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. Keep what brings you joy in your home, in your schedule, and in your life. Let go of the rest. And don't worry about whether you have more cookie sheets than your neighbor. Sure, that means the labels might not fit. It means you might try some things out and let go of them later. That means my minimalism might not be as tidy as yours. Maybe mine is just messy. Oh well, creating is messy, and I'm not waiting on perfection anymore.
[00:05:45] You just listened to the post titled, Why I'm Not Waiting on Perfection, by Melissa Kamara-Wilkins with nosidebar.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. The grind never stops as a business owner. When you're hiring, you need a partner that works as hard as you do, and that's where LinkedIn Jobs comes in. We've been lucky finding our team here at Optimal Living Daily, and I think LinkedIn Jobs would have taken luck out of the equation, finding us the best quickly. With LinkedIn Jobs, posting your job for free is just the beginning.
[00:06:14] You can pay to promote it for three times more qualified candidates, and their new feature helps craft the perfect job description in minutes, putting your job opportunity in front of qualified talent that matters. Plus, you can boost your reach by adding a hashtag hiring frame to your profile picture to double your qualified applicants. Super simple, yet super effective. And the results speak for themselves. Approximately 72% of small and medium-sized businesses on LinkedIn
[00:06:41] say that LinkedIn helps them find high-quality candidates. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash selection. That's linkedin.com slash selection to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Thank you to Melissa, guest writer on No Sidebar. I love that line. If you're trying to be perfect, you can't experiment. You can't play. You can't create anything because you have to stay inside the lines. You can only consume.
[00:07:11] Stay inside the lines is a perfect analogy because it's literal for me. It reminded me when I was probably 10 years old or so, I got an Easter coloring competition thing in the mail. And I dwelled on it. I wanted to win the coloring contest. So I spent all this time trying to think of how I should color it. And I started. Totally messed up. And since this came in the mail, back then scanners weren't a thing. There was no online place to download a new sheet or anything. So I couldn't make a copy. So it was totally messed up. I had done the worst thing possible.
[00:07:41] I'd gone outside the lines. And that's when I realized, you know what? I should just experiment. I had gone outside the lines around the Easter bunny's legs. So I turned it into the bunny wearing baggy pants. And I decided I'd make him listen to music. So I had him wear headphones and then connected that to a Walkman. Not an iPad or iPhone since those didn't exist back then. And then I drew little music symbols outside and around the sheet. Because it's not all about drawing inside the lines.
[00:08:10] There were no rules for this contest. And guess what? I won that contest. So literally and metaphorically, don't worry about coloring inside the lines. But that should do it for today. Hope you're having a great day. And I'll be back tomorrow as usual, where your optimal life awaits.