3535: Don’t Push It Too Hard by Shana Olmstead on Personal Development and Self-Help

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Don't Push It Too Hard by Shana Olmstead of shanaomstead.com and I'm your host and narrator Justin Malik. I read to you every day of the year so that you don't have to find articles and read them yourself. And it's all with permission from the authors of course. So with that let's get right to our next one as we optimize your life. Don't Push It Too Hard by Shana Olmstead of shanaomstead.com

[00:00:29] I recently had brunch with some friends and they let me know that this is my catchphrase. They told me that they were at the gym the other day working out feeling tired and sweaty and exhausted but hadn't done their whole workout. They were about to keep going out of guilt and obligation and then they remembered the phrase, don't push it too hard and left the gym. They decided to honor their true feelings, take care of their bodies and let themselves off the hook that day just a little bit. I mean aren't we all pushing it too hard with everything most of the time?

[00:00:57] So many people work too hard, don't rest enough and are busy with everything all the time. Pushing It Too Hard We think we don't have time and we have to achieve and produce and do and have. We think the harder we push, the more we do and have, the better we will feel. That next promotion will do it or buying the bigger house or the nicer car. Pushing ahead all the time just trying to get a little of the feeling of ease and flow and comfort that we all want.

[00:01:25] The problem with this approach is that it doesn't work at all. Pushing and pushing pushes away what we want. Pushing is the opposite of peace. I propose a new way of being, not pushing it too hard. This means with everything, work, relationships, working out, eating, all of it. Not pushing it too hard is one of the values I live by. Pushing out of the way. So many people I work with believe that the harder they push and the more they criticize themselves,

[00:01:54] the happier and more successful they will be. They think if they stop pushing, they might end up homeless and alone. This is absolutely false. I've seen it over and over in my clients. They become gentler to themselves and their lives keep getting better and better. This just happened in real time as a clear sign from the universe that this message is in alignment right now. I just took a little break from writing, turned on the TV and the movie Office Space was on. Here's the description.

[00:02:18] A computer programmer's hypnosis-induced lackadaisical attitude about work puts him on the corporate fast track. I mean, you can't make this stuff up. In working with clients, I've seen so many real tangible benefits when they can slow down, make choices from their soul instead of their mind and take it easier. These include doing less work, but getting better feedback and getting more promotions, more connection in relationships, and less anxiety and stress. The benefits of not pushing it too hard in all areas of life are many,

[00:02:48] including more peace, more comfort, feeling happier, connecting more in your relationships, and living a life of alignment, ease, and grace. Here are a few steps to live a life of not pushing it too hard. Number one, identify the places you are pushing too hard.

[00:03:21] Number two, practice awareness of your energy. Asking those questions as well as paying attention to your energy frequently will allow you to have the awareness of when you are forcing your energy. Some ways to tell if you are forcing your energy are your body sensations, emotions, and thoughts. Some signs in your body that will tell you if you're forcing are, among others,

[00:03:46] tightness anywhere, clenched stomach, hunched shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. In some ways your emotions can tell you if you're pushing too hard are anxiety, fear, pressure, and stress. In some examples of thoughts that I can let you know, I have to do, they'll be mad if I, I should, and any self-critical thoughts. If you notice any of these signs, slow down, take some deep breaths, check in with yourself, and move on to number three.

[00:04:14] Number three, make a different choice. Once you've created the awareness of areas of your life where you get triggered to push too hard, and have become aware of the sensations, thoughts, and feelings that indicate that you need to slow your energy down, it's time to start practicing a new choice in those moments. My friends were a great example. If you're at the gym and feel like leaving, leave. If you're working 14-hour days to impress your boss that doesn't seem to care anyway, stop. If you pressure yourself to make a healthy, organic meal every single day for your family,

[00:04:44] take the day off. Baby steps are important to help you build confidence, shift momentum, and create permanent change. Maybe start by working 13-hour days instead of 14, or stop checking your email at 9 o'clock instead of 10 o'clock, or go on a four-mile run instead of 5. Just start listening to yourself and your energy more. It knows what is most beneficial for you. Once you start making the small changes and noticing how much better and more peaceful you feel, the momentum will just keep building.

[00:05:13] And number four, be kind to yourself. It is normal to feel pressure to force your energy. We live in a culture that supports being busy and doing and achieving more than being and feeling and flowing. Because you probably have had the habit of pushing too hard for many years, it will take time to shift it. The kinder and more gentle and encouraging you can be to yourself during your process of changing this pattern, the better it will feel and the faster it will happen. Tell yourself things like, I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself.

[00:05:42] And look how much better you feel when you make choices that are in your highest good. This helps you keep moving forward and letting go of the old voice of fear and judgment that drives the pushing too hard behavior. I get a lot done. I have a full and successful private practice, two teenagers that I parent, family and friends that I am in close relationships with, and also take good care of my physical, mental, and spiritual health. Well, not pushing it too hard doesn't mean you don't get stuff done and aren't successful. To me, it means the opposite.

[00:06:10] I hope you have as much fun as I do finding ways to not push it too hard in your own life. You just listened to the post titled, Don't Push It Too Hard by Shana Olmsted of shanaolmsted.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Cozy Earth. Cozy Earth products are designed to transform your five to nine, the time that matters most, into the coziest sanctuary. Seriously. With Cozy Earth, my bedroom now is my personal retreat.

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[00:07:10] Luxury shouldn't be out of reach. Head to CozyEarth.com and use my code OLD for 40% off sheets, towels, pajamas, and more. If you get a survey after purchasing, mention you heard about them right here on the podcast. That's 40% off at CozyEarth.com with code OLD. Sanctuary awaits at Cozy Earth. Thank you to Shana. Come by her site. I have it linked in this episode's description and at OldPodcast.com.

[00:07:39] It means a lot when you visit our author's sites and show them support. I'm glad that she made that distinction at the very end. She's not encouraging you to do nothing or avoid healthy behaviors like exercise. Far from it. The key is balance. A lot of people do give up too early with things like exercise, thinking they're pushing too hard, especially if they aren't used to it, like beginners in exercising or trying new exercises. So you have to be careful and understand your own emotions, feelings, physical sensations, all of that stuff.

[00:08:07] The tips she gave in the article to actually discover if you're truly pushing too hard are helpful for that. So I hope you enjoyed that one, but that will do it for today. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you over the weekend where your optimal life awaits.