3553: The Relativism of Advice by Colin Wright of Exile Lifestyle on Personal Development

[00:00:00] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, The Relativism of Advice by Colin Wright of ExileLifestyle.com and I'm Justin Malik. Welcome back to a Sunday bonus episode where I give you a little extra content from a podcast in our network that I think will also help you live a life that's a bit more meaningful and happier.

[00:00:55] This episode is coming from Optimal Relationships Daily. We just talked about advice yesterday. This one should fit as well with this show. So without further ado, here's Greg with another post as we optimize your life. The Relativism of Advice by Colin Wright of ExileLifestyle.com

[00:01:18] Good advice can be a difficult thing to acquire, though you wouldn't know it while perusing the how-to section at a bookstore, reading the opinion section of the newspaper, or browsing just about the entire internet. There's advice everywhere. Advice on money, on work, on relationships, on food. Advice about how to spend your time, how to raise your kids, how to travel or work out or edit a photograph.

[00:01:42] But although it's wonderful to have so much advice available, much of it is lacking a very important block of text, which I think would solve those on the receiving end a lot of time. This advice is applicable to me, the author, blogger, columnist.

[00:02:00] If you are exactly like me in every way, in terms of gender, economic upbringing, education level, physical archetype, genetic predisposition, and every other variable a person might have, including experiencing everything I've ever experienced and having the same parents as me, this will probably work pretty well for you. Otherwise, results will vary.

[00:02:25] I think this is something most of us know, but it's easy to forget in the moment when we are promised something we want. When someone waves a temptation in front of us and doesn't just offer to give us what we want, which would seem fake, but offers to tell us how to get it for ourselves, which feels more legitimate, we're prone to ignore that little voice that says, how can this possibly work for everyone?

[00:02:49] We even ignore the secondary voice that adds, if it worked, wouldn't everyone be wealthy slash raise perfect children slash have rippling six-pack abs? What we're failing to take into consideration is the context in which the advice is given. I think most advice is given with good intentions. I really do.

[00:03:08] But I also think that, although it's important to be optimistic about our efforts, sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment when we ignore the fact that the guy promoting the fitness shakes is a professional fitness model, with all the habits, history, and genes that go along with a profession of that kind. I'm almost embarrassed when I have to add the above stipulation to advice I give, because it can come across as negativity.

[00:03:34] In emails and when giving talks, audience members often ask me how they can travel the world full-time the way I do. I have to admit that I have no idea. I know how I did it, but I also have a set of skills that can be utilized from anywhere, a network of friends and connections I've been cultivating for years, and preferences that allow me to enjoy the difficulties of travel where others might find only discomfort.

[00:03:59] All I can honestly do in these situations is point people towards handy tools and provide some insight as to skills they can learn, research they can do, and people they can meet. This is a more truthful approach. But I also know it's less exciting for those who receive this kind of advice. They want me to tell them exactly how to do it, a silver bullet, a 10-step plan to reaching their dreams. And when they don't achieve what they hope to achieve, they'll assume it was their own fault.

[00:04:29] Maybe they messed up step six, who's to say? Definitive advice is often faulty from the outset. Not because the people divvying it out are scam artists, not because the people receiving the advice are no-talent dreamers, but because the conversation the two are having isn't the one they should be having. Instead of saying, here's how you do this, and then declaring the path the advice giver took to be the correct option,

[00:04:54] maybe it would be better to step back and identify what the steps actually accomplished and how they might be accomplished through other means. I'm able to travel full-time because I have work I can do from anywhere, assets I've built that allow me to bring in money even when I'm not working, and connections I've made through blogging, meeting folks around the world, and helping people out whenever I can. Rather than telling people to do exactly what I've done, learn to write, publish books, learn to do design work and some web development,

[00:05:24] start a blog and have people vote on where you move every four months, I might tell them to acquire skills that are useful in the online economy, to think about assets they could build and to figure out how they want to travel, which will determine what kinds of connections they'll want to make. This is not about holding back advice. It's about giving practical, actionable, versatile advice that can be utilized by anyone, no matter their situation. Otherwise, in order to be truthful,

[00:05:52] I'd have to tell everyone who asks me how they can do what I do that they should start by being white, male, about 5'10", born in the U.S., left-handed, etc. The world is full of advice, and much of it is useful in the right hands, but also essentially worthless to most people. Consider the context of advice, whether you're giving it or receiving it, and adjust what you say or take away as a result.

[00:06:21] We might find that the conversations we have become far more valuable as a result. You just listened to the post titled, The Relativism of Advice, by Colin Wright of ExileLifestyle.com. And some really important reminders from Colin today. Really grateful for articles like this one that are so good for putting things back into perspective.

[00:06:46] And speaking of perspective, I think Colin's words provide us with a lot of opportunity to help others put their own situations into perspective when we would otherwise be giving them advice. For example, someone might ask you how to do something the way they've asked Colin. You might offer them an explanation, but then highlight some of the core differences between you two, or some specific attributes that played a big part in you accomplishing whatever they're asking you about.

[00:07:14] At that point, you might ask them how they could utilize their strengths to try to achieve a similar result, reminding them that a different path is likely required than the one you took. So in this way, we don't write people off, but instead, we help facilitate their own journey with powerful questioning. If that's a conversation we feel like having, that is. No one says you have to. So keep that in mind, my friends. It's time to wrap up for now.

[00:07:41] I really hope you liked this post and that you can keep it in mind next time you ask or are asked for advice on something. But in the meantime, I look forward to having you back here for another post. That'll be tomorrow in the Tuesday show. So I'll see you there, where your optimal life awaits.