3554: The Most Trying Part of Living a Good Story by Jeff Goins on Building Resilience and Life Fulfillment

[00:00:00] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, The Most Trying Part of Living a Good Story by Jeff Goins of GoinsWriter.com and I'm Justin Malik. Welcome back to the podcast where I read to you every day of the year to help bring a bit more meaning and happiness to your days.

[00:00:54] And with that, we're going to get right to our next post and continue optimizing your life. The Most Trying Part of Living a Good Story by Jeff Goins of GoinsWriter.com Recently, I watched the Lord of the Rings films with my son and was struck by an important quote. It spoke to me about the hardship of life and what it takes to live a good story and why we sometimes avoid life's difficulties.

[00:01:22] Frodo and Sam are hiking through the mountains on their way to Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring and bring back peace to the land. But at this point, all seems lost. They can't see beyond their present reality. Frodo, I can't do this, Sam. Sam, I know, it's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were.

[00:01:50] And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now.

[00:02:18] Now, folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back. Only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. Frodo, What are we holding on to, Sam? Sam, That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for. Our lives, says stories. I don't know what life is like for you, but for me, it can sometimes seem difficult. There are things I want to do, aspirations and dreams I have.

[00:02:46] And much to my surprise, I don't always get those things that I want. So I huff and puff and throw my little tantrums. But then I remember. It's a simple lesson I regularly preach to the choir when I relentlessly remind other writers and communicators about all the time. And one, I am terrible at practicing myself. Good stories involve conflict, which is just a nice word for pain. People don't become heroes without sacrifice. And as creatures of comfort, this is the last thing we want to endure.

[00:03:17] Surely we think our stories don't have to require suffering in order for them to be good, do they? But they do indeed. Why am I sharing this with you? Because we all have a story to tell. The one we're living. That's the epic adventure we have to share with other people. We don't get to tell that story by playing it safe and pretending the narrative is just about us. There's something bigger happening than you getting up, drinking your coffee, taking out the garbage, and going to work.

[00:03:45] I know it feels like that sometimes, and other times, like the pain will never go away. But all of this experience is teaching us something, pointing us to a deeper revelation. I won't pretend to have it all figured out. I don't. But I do know there's something liberating about letting go and realizing the story doesn't have to be completely about me. Everyone wants to be happy. But here's the truth about happiness. It's a paradox.

[00:04:11] The best way to be happy is to not try to be happy. Happiness is a byproduct of finding your purpose, of living out your calling. A life that is focused solely on self and one's own happiness ultimately ends up being shallow and unsatisfying. The cure for the common life. Ever seen the TV show Toddlers in Tiaras? Talk about a perfect illustration of the ugliness of getting what you want.

[00:04:36] I remember when my siblings were in their terrible twos, and then their terrible threes, and fours, and fives, and so on. Toddlers aren't always fun to be around. One time my sister hit me in the face with a remote control giving me a black eye. But let's face it. Sometimes we are those screaming little ones who haven't gotten our way. We think life is about our comfort. It's not. It's about others. We are our most fulfilled when pouring out our lives for something bigger than us.

[00:05:05] I don't want to get too preachy, but you've only got one shot at this thing called your life. Don't you want to make it count? If you're feeling that dissatisfaction that plagues so many, the solution is simple. Find a bigger story. You making a lot of money to retire early? That's a small story. You getting out of debt to help others live free lives? That's a bigger story. Still, it's one thing to talk about this stuff and quite another to do it. So let's say you want to live a good story.

[00:05:34] Well, get ready, because this is gonna hurt. Remember these three qualities of a good story. Number one, good stories don't have predictable endings. Let go of your silly little plans and embrace the journey for what it is. Number two, heroes don't feel like heroes when they're being heroic. Being heroic means doing the hard thing, which often hurts, challenging every selfish bone in your body. And number three, pain is how a character grows.

[00:06:04] A character doesn't change without hardship. So if we want to live our own meaningful stories, we need to stop finding ways to avoid discomfort. Instead, we must step into inconvenience. So how about it? Are you ready to start living a bigger story? Here's a pledge I'm making. Feel free to join me. Today, I choose more than me. I invite the bigger story.

[00:06:33] You just listened to the post titled, The Most Trying Part of Living a Good Story, by Jeff Goines of GoinesWriter.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Jeff. I can definitely relate to what he's saying about wanting things to be easy. I think that's pretty much human nature, right? We all want the smooth path. We want our dreams to come true without too much struggle. But like he points out, that's just not how good stories work. And it's not how meaningful lives work either.

[00:07:03] When I think about the most meaningful parts of my own life, they've often been connected to challenges I've faced. It's a great reminder that life isn't just about our own comfort or happiness. Even though I do sometimes say that this show is about happiness. We talked about this somewhat recently. We tend to be most fulfilled when we're focused on something bigger than ourselves. The times when I've felt most satisfied aren't necessarily when everything's going perfectly,

[00:07:29] but when I feel like I'm contributing something valuable or growing in some way. So maybe today we can think about the story we're living. Are we avoiding discomfort at all costs? Or are we willing to face some difficulty for the sake of a better story? Are we focused just on our own happiness? Or are we part of something bigger? I think these are questions worth asking ourselves regularly. With that, we've reached the end for today. Thank you for being here and listening every day. I couldn't do it without you.

[00:07:58] Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.