3558: 7 Insights on Happiness, Personal Freedom and Productivity by Jill Coleman of JillFit

[00:00:00] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, 7 Insights on Happiness, Personal Freedom and Productivity by Jill Coleman of JillFit.com and I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator. I read to you every day covering productivity, minimalism, personal development and more.

[00:00:55] So with that, let's get right to another article as we optimize your life. 7 Insights on Happiness, Personal Freedom and Productivity by Jill Coleman of JillFit.com I'm a huge believer in seeking out people who are doing things better than me and asking for help. In the last couple years, I feel like I grew up a lot in this regard.

[00:01:22] I used to feel that if I asked someone for help, it was an admission that I didn't know what I was doing or that I didn't have it all figured out. Well, of course, I actually didn't have it all figured out. But more importantly, I came to the realization that by not asking, I wasn't getting any better. I was maxed out on what I could teach myself, at least without it taking me many years. I started by reading and doing some light introspective work on my own,

[00:01:50] but it was only in the last year that I sought out a spiritual coach and a business mentor, two different people. And the truth of it is that in seeking out people who have been where I am and now are doing it a lot better, I've been able to cut years of lessons out of my education in both business and spiritual growth, learn shortcuts and get better a whole lot faster. Yesterday, I checked in with my spiritual coach and after a long phone call,

[00:02:17] I felt like I could take on anything life threw at me. It's a great feeling and with practice, it creates possibilities and pushes me to higher places than I ever thought possible. So who better to share it with than you? So here are seven insights I have learned and practiced in the past year under a great coach, friend and mentor. Remember, these specific lessons resonate strongly with me and my experiences, but I think in many ways they are universal if you're open to them.

[00:02:47] The goal for my seeking out a spiritual coach in the first place was to learn how to be at peace with myself, my relationships, and to be able to sustain happiness. The year goes. Number one, nothing is personal. In the quest for personal freedom, understand that whatever people do is because of them, not us. Sure, we might have done something that acted as a catalyst,

[00:03:12] but ultimately people act out of their own insecurities and personal circumstances. When I realize that truly nothing is personal, it allows me to feel happier and less attached to people's affirmation or not of me. Number two, people will always do what they do. Stop being surprised. At one point, I was constantly asking the question, why is that happening? Or why does so-and-so do that? Et cetera. Even though I still may not get someone,

[00:03:42] I never have to ask the question of why what they are doing is different than what I would have done in a similar situation. The answer is always because that's what they do. There's no judgment about it. It's just what is and no amount of kicking, screaming, or judging is going to change that. Acceptance is so much more liberating. Number three, expectations for others only get us in trouble. A toughie.

[00:04:10] But how can we not have expectations for others? Isn't that what life is built around? Isn't that what relationships are built on? Trust that the other person will do what we expect them to? Well, if you have been in a long-term relationship, you already know that people will always do what they do. And why shouldn't they? How are we supposed to know what's best for someone else? All I can expect is that people will do what they need to do for them. I can certainly have emotions about that.

[00:04:40] But the ultimately, and in my opinion, only expectation I can have for someone else is that they will do what makes them happy. And if that's not in line with what I want them to do, then fine. Why does it have to be, really? Number four, living in victimhood keeps us from action. When we feel like a victim of our circumstances, we are paralyzed. We literally cannot see a way out.

[00:05:06] There's no growth, no moving forward or changing if we continue to hang on to what we don't have or what we can't do or what cards we have been dealt. Ditching the what happened to me mindset and adopting the reality that I can always do something to change my reality, even if it's simply changing my attitude, makes me feel like anything is possible. The victim mentality is the opposite of possibility thinking.

[00:05:35] Number five, the only thing you can control is your attitude. Building on number four, ultimately we cannot control outcomes, other people or circumstances. Nothing is guaranteed in life. But what we always have control over is how we interact with the world. We can choose to see possibilities. We can choose to be hopeful. We can choose to take action, even if we can't guarantee it will elicit a specific outcome.

[00:06:03] And we can choose to do our best despite the obstacles, struggles, and failures life throws at us. In fact, the biggest opportunities for growth lie in choosing to be resilient in times of struggle. Number six, gratitude is the key to personal freedom. Practicing gratitude has been a new behavior for me in the last nine months or so. And it literally changes your life.

[00:06:28] When you can consciously be appreciated for literally anything, your spouse, your home, your job, your friends, even just the water that comes out of your showerhead every morning. It elicits a sense of inner peace and detachment. Being unattached to out there can be a good thing because it means you put less stock into other people's actions and behaviors. You're free to be you without expectations or affirmation. You are self-affirmed.

[00:06:57] And number seven, our happiness lies in our perception. We blogged on this recently, the idea that you can literally change your reality by simply choosing your mindset. If you have the mindset that eating healthy is hard, then you'll most certainly experience eating healthy to be hard. If you choose, I suck, then you'll continue seeking out ways to prove to yourself that you suck. It's literally as simple as what you think becomes your reality.

[00:07:26] What you say becomes your reality. Quote, Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Henry Ford. You just listened to the post titled, Seven Insights on Happiness, Personal Freedom, and Productivity by Joe Coleman of JillFit.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV.

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[00:09:49] Turn those dreams into... And give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash old. Go to shopify.com slash OLD. Shopify.com slash old. Thank you to Jill. She's frequently narrated over on my brother's podcast, Optimal Health Daily. So you can check out that podcast for more from her.

[00:10:17] I think a big takeaway from this article is that much of our happiness day-to-day comes down to our perception and the choices we make about how we view the world. I'm not saying we need to be cheery all the time, but on the average day, how often do we let other people's actions affect our own happiness? If someone cuts you off in traffic, does it ruin your day? Does it ruin part of your day? And if so, why?

[00:10:45] Is that okay with you that it affects your day that much? Does it have to be that way? We might not be able to control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond. That's probably one of the biggest lessons we hear on this show and why it pops up from time to time. I think we can use that reminder. So thank you to Jill for the reminder. Thank you for being here every day and learning along with me really means a lot. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow as usual,

[00:11:13] where your optimal life awaits.