3561: Stop Trying To Keep Up With The Joneses by Roger Lawson on Comparing Yourself to Others

[00:00:00] Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:23] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:49] So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily. Stop Trying To Keep Up With The Joneses by Roger Lawson of rogelawfitness.com and I'm Justin Malik. This is where I usually narrate articles for you but on Sundays I think it's nice to share an episode from another podcast where we read to you.

[00:01:18] Today's narration is coming from my brother's show, Optimal Health Daily. You can find it wherever you get your podcasts. Again, just search for Optimal Health Daily. He also answers your questions on Friday editions of the show and I'll personally mail you a copy of our 200-some page hardcover Optimal Living Daily workbook if you're in the United States and send in a relevant health-related question.

[00:01:41] If you're outside the US, I'll email you a digital version of it. You can email your health-related question to health at oldpodcast.com. But for now, here's my brother Dr. Neil from Optimal Health Daily as we optimize your life. Stop Trying To Keep Up With The Joneses by Roger Lawson of rogelawfitness.com.

[00:02:07] Once upon a time, I was a relatively strong dude. I bench-pressed and chin-upped over 300 pounds, front-squatted over 400 pounds, and deadlifted over 500 pounds. Life was good and there's video proof on this post. These feats all occurred while I was lifting at Cressi Performance for the majority of my training sessions. And while the programming was fantastic, I really attribute getting this strong to the amazing training environment that they foster there.

[00:02:33] When lifts like these are the norm among staff and clients, you quickly find yourself trying to keep up. These were the Joneses of my lifting career, and I constantly worked to keep up with them, loving every minute of it. Then, I got hired at a local gym and started lifting alone. I got weaker. Much weaker. And it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Nowadays, my front squat is about 70 pounds less, my deadlift is about 50 pounds less,

[00:03:00] and I'm committing internet suicide by confessing that my one-rep max bench press isn't much higher than 225 pounds. So, what gives? I can only speak from my experience, but I feel that this will resonate with a lot of people. The goals that I was working towards weren't my own, and I wasn't having any fun pursuing them. I'll use someone I spoke with the other day as an example. Overall, this man has been in the iron game for a long time, longer than I've been alive,

[00:03:29] and he is a bench press junkie. If it were legally acceptable to marry it, I think that he would. Over the last few years though, he's experienced a sharp decline in his strength, and he's constantly in pain. After hearing him talk about how much it hurts to bench, I asked him if he even liked doing it. His answer? Nope. Too painful. Yet, he persists, despite it not being in his best interest. If he doesn't like doing it, and it causes him pain, why does he do it?

[00:03:58] This makes me wonder how many people out there are doing exercises that they hate, and are chasing goals that they don't even remotely want to accomplish. In some cases, just to impress others or keep up with the Joneses. I'll be brutally honest, and say that before this epiphany, the only reason I wanted to be super strong was so that I could be a part of the cool club. And so that I could boast a high number if anyone asked how much I lifted. After getting away from the crowd, and examining my own reasons and motivations for lifting,

[00:04:27] I was able to discover what my true goals in the gym were. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a simple man with simple needs. I want to be healthy, pain-free, look good naked, and be able to accomplish some cool stuff in the gym. That's it. Bench pressing 350 pounds? That's cool to watch, but I don't care to work towards that, because it isn't necessary for my goals. For the next year of my training, I'm abandoning the barbell completely in pursuit of other tools and pursuits. If I like it, I do it.

[00:04:56] If I don't, I won't. That is the mantra I live by. This whole working out and training thing is ideally something that you're going to be doing for the rest of your life, so you had better like what you're doing to a certain degree. Doing something just because some guru says that it's absolutely necessary, even if you hate it, won't do you a lick of good in the long run. This doesn't apply to just lifting, but life as well. Quote, You know, some people say life is short, and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment,

[00:05:25] and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not going to get hit by a bus, and you're going to have to live with the choices you make for the next 50 years. Chris Rock. Life is too short to fill it with things that don't bring you joy. Follow the Joneses for too long, and one day you might find yourself at the end of a road only to realize that it led you to a place that you don't want to be at all. That's how some end up working a job they hate to pay for the expensive gadgets and luxuries

[00:05:55] that help distract them from the fact that their life isn't what they want it to be. The great thing about goals is that no matter how goofy, wild, or against the grain they may seem to others, they are uniquely yours and yours alone, and no one can take them away from you. Pursue them. I challenge you all to look at the road you're on and ask yourself some questions. Are your goals your goals? And is this where you want to go?

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[00:08:50] I hope as you listen to these posts and these podcasts, you're finding that there's a theme. If you listen carefully, you'll notice that from all of our fitness experts, from all of our health experts, including myself, if you simply find something you enjoy, something you can stick to, whether it's a diet or meal plan or even physical activity or exercise, same goes for stress management. If you could find strategies that actually work for you, that you enjoy doing, you're gonna do it more often.

[00:09:20] And if you do something more often and you do it for long enough, guess what? It's now a habit. So I love the way Roger approached this topic and I feel like he was right on the nose. All right, and that'll do it for today. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing this show with someone. Thank you for listening every day. I hope you have a great rest of your weekend and I'll be back here tomorrow as usual. So I'll see you there when your optimal life awaits.