3568: [Part 2] The Power of Words - 3 Phrases That Will Destroy Your Happiness by Sabrina of Budding Optimist

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, The Power of Words, 3 Phrases That Will Destroy Your Happiness, Part 2 by Sabrina of BuddingOptimist.com and I'm Justin Malik. Welcome back or welcome for the first time if you're new here. If you are new here, today's actually a continuation from yesterday so I'd recommend listening to yesterday's episode first. But if you're all caught up, let's get right to part two and continue optimizing your life.

[00:00:29] The Power of Words, 3 Phrases That Will Destroy Your Happiness, Part 2 by Sabrina of BuddingOptimist.com If only also prevents us from enjoying the present. It has us looking constantly at the pot on the stove wondering what other delicious bits might be in there instead of savoring the food already on our plate.

[00:00:51] How can we ever be satisfied with what's in front of us if we never let go of the imaginary reality that we constructed in our minds with the words, if only? Every so often a thought sneaks into my head that says, If only the doctors had checked my lungs more frequently after the transplant, they might have caught this condition sooner and prevented it from progressing to where it is now. The thought is like a sharp knife that jabs at my sides when I'm least expecting it.

[00:01:19] In that moment, I feel the grief over what I had lost. Lung functions that could have been salvaged but are now gone forever. The thought drenches me in a shower of self-pity, anger, disappointment, and anguish. And then I remember that I have absolutely no control over what had already happened. There's no magic pen for me to rewrite the past. The if-only world that I just imagined will never come to fruition.

[00:01:46] I can only make the best out of what I have in the here and now. The next time you catch yourself using the phrase, if-only, ask yourself this. Do I have the power to get to that desired reality? If the answer is yes, consider if that desired reality is a worthy goal for you to achieve. If it somehow makes you a better person or gives your life more meaning. If the answer is yes again, what are you waiting for? Or get off the couch and do something.

[00:02:14] If the answer is no for the first question, don't let yourself dwell on what could have been or might have been, if only. It's time to get over that regret and start enjoying your life now. Number three, not now. When was the last time you said the words, not now? Did it go something like this? Not now, I don't have the time. Not now, I'm not ready. Not now, I can always do it later. You get the idea.

[00:02:43] Not now frames some form of explanation to justify why we can't dedicate ourselves fully to the present moment. Why we turn our backs on the things we secretly know we should be doing. Be it we're too busy, too tired, or as much as we hate to admit it, too lazy. Not now used to be my go-to response when people asked why I wasn't writing. I'd always wanted to write. I had told close friends and family that my goal was to write.

[00:03:09] And deep down, I knew that I needed to write consistently to get to that goal. But I never committed enough time and energy to actually write. For me, writing was something that I had tucked away in a drawer neatly labeled, someday. The thought of taking it out of that drawer was always dissuaded by reasons that started with the words, not now. Reasons that look exactly like the ones you heard a few paragraphs ago. But the truth was, I had always had the time.

[00:03:38] We all do when we really push ourselves to make room for the things we view as a priority. I was never going to be ready enough. Ready meant perfection in my book. And perfection, as we all know, is unattainable. And if I was truly honest with myself, I knew the later, in my excuse, was a moving target that would never come. As time went by, I started to feel a discord inside of me whenever I used the words not now to explain why I wasn't writing.

[00:04:05] I felt like a hypocrite for calling myself a creative soul when I did close to nothing to justify that self-view. The words not now had created a fortress of excuses that had confined me to the status quo. And I was miserable inside it. Then the excuses fell apart. There was a series of events that first opened a crack in the wall and slowly the excuses crumbled away bit by bit. I'll share the details of these events in a future post.

[00:04:34] But just know that by the end, I looked in the mirror and said, why not now? And I began writing for my blog the very next day. I have felt this renewed sense of passion and purpose ever since. It's a deep contentment that goes far beyond just mere happiness that I never knew existed until now. The words not now had kept me away from experiencing this feeling all this time, but not anymore.

[00:05:02] If you have the habit of saying not now to things you know if you're being utterly honest with yourself that you should be doing, I'm sorry to tell you that you're missing out on something magical. No, don't roll your eyes. This is not a cheap infomercial. I'm not selling anything for half price in the next five minutes. I promise. I just want you to know, as a person who used to be trapped in the fortress of not now, the world outside its walls is a much happier place. So why not now?

[00:05:31] Remember, change takes time. If any of the three phrases I mentioned here is a regular in your vocabulary, don't be disheartened if you can't immediately stop yourself from using them. Words and thought patterns are ingrained in us. We can't easily change them as if we're changing outfits. I still find myself using these phrases from time to time, but the difference now is that I am aware of how they affect my feelings of happiness.

[00:05:58] I can remind myself to make that shift towards more positive words and away from negative ones. So start with the awareness of the power of words. The simple act of taking notice of what you say to others and to yourself will build a foundation for change to happen. It will take some practice, but change will come. You just listened to part two of the post titled,

[00:06:25] The Power of Words, Three Phrases That Will Destroy Your Happiness by Sabrina of buddingoptimist.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Remember those childhood dreams? As we grow, our aspirations evolve. Instead of fantasizing about space travel, perhaps you're now dreaming of launching your own business around your passion for minimalism or sustainable living. But doubt creeps in. Do I have the skills? Can I build a website? How will I find customers? Enter Shopify.

[00:06:53] The commerce platform empowering millions of businesses worldwide and handling 10% of all U.S. e-commerce from household names to fresh startups. Worried about design? Well, Shopify offers beautiful templates that align with your brand's aesthetic. Need assistance? Their AI tools help with everything from enhancing product images to crafting descriptions that resonate with conscious consumers. Concerned about reaching your audience? Shopify simplifies customer connection through streamlined email and social campaigns.

[00:07:22] And if you get stuck, their award-winning support team is available 24-7. Turn those dreams into... And give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash old. Go to shopify.com slash OLD. Shopify.com slash old. And thank you again to Sabrina. Sabrina. Yesterday, I talked about the external locus of control.

[00:07:52] And the last phrase today was the opposite really. Not now is what's in our control. And I agree that one can really get us stuck in an unhealthy pattern when it comes to our habits and routines. But the first step to all of this is what she said at the end. Awareness. Catching ourselves can be difficult. We often say or do these things without even knowing it. So getting someone else to help you catch it, or really taking time to practice,

[00:08:20] maybe even meditate a little, can go a long way. So let me know how it works for you. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.