3591: How to Downsize Your Life from Negative People by Renee Benes of The Fun Sized Life

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[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_04] This is Optimal Living Daily. How to Downsize Your Life from Negative People by Rene Bennis of thefunsizedlife.com. And I'm your narrator Justin Mollick, reading you articles every single day of the year, including holidays, so that you and I can both take a step in the right direction and have just a bit more positivity in our day. Really does add up. And with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_04] How to Downsize Your Life from Negative People by Rene Bennis of thefunsizedlife.com. I'm a big fan of decluttering and I'll never regret our decision to downsize our house. One area that not many people talk about, but really should be addressed, is how to downsize your life from negative people. The people we surround ourselves with have a way of either lifting us up or dragging us down.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_04] Just like actual clutter, negative people can make us feel depressed, smothered, and anxious. Rather than continue this cycle and keep yourself feeling stuck, let's discuss how to downsize your life from negative people. Why Negative People Stink. Surrounding yourself with negative people can have a profound impact on your mental state of mind, as well as your physical health.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_04] If you fail to avoid contact with people who are constantly negative, your body can respond in physical ways just like it would to an illness. On top of the energies given off by a negative person, being surrounded by hurtful and harmful words have proven their own negative side effects. You can't save anyone. The thing most of us do is try to help these negative people. We often try to encourage them or raise their spirits ourselves.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_04] This is most often a losing battle. At the end of the day, we cannot control the actions of other people. The quicker that lesson is learned in life, the more success you will have. While we may not be able to change how negative people behave, we can try to understand where they're coming from. Just like the bully on the playground, negative people are often fighting their own inner battles. They may even hate themselves. Their negativity stems from a deep self-consciousness.

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_04] Keep this in mind, but don't let it excuse their actions. Starting the downsize. Although people are to be valued far more, downsizing negative people from your life is very similar to downsizing items. Because we as people can attach to items, the letting go process ends up being the same in many ways. This is why working to eliminate negative people from your schedule is something I go over in the 10 Days of Minimalism email series.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_04] The impact it can have on our lives can change everything for the better. Why are you hanging on to this person? Like items in our closet that we don't particularly like or use, we often have to ask ourselves, why? Why is this a relationship that we are clinging to? Perhaps it is a friend from the past who has been there for us through some of our biggest life struggles. Maybe it's a co-worker who we see every day and therefore can't really get rid of.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_04] Hardest of all, maybe it's a family member who is dragging you down. Someone that you love and care about very much. Whoever the person and whatever the circumstances, you have to ask yourself, why am I hanging on to this person? I've clung to relationships before because I felt like they should be different. There was a part of me that felt entitled to a better relationship with someone. Of course, there have been negative people I've clung to because I've loved them so much. I thought I could love them enough for both of us.

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_04] I couldn't. It's not possible. The first step in the letting go process is realizing why you are struggling to let go in the first place. What can you gain from letting go? You know what they say, whenever you say no to something, you're saying yes to something else. In the same sense, whenever you say no more to a certain relationship, you are saying yes to some new reward.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_04] If a particular person drags you down every morning on your commute to work, saying no to that relationship would mean saying yes to listening to the radio, your favorite music, or a positive, uplifting podcast. Saying no to allowing someone to cut you down, of course, opens you up to the freedom of positive thoughts and affirmations. No matter what, there will be a benefit to saying no to a negative relationship.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_04] Love and let go. The best and healthiest thing you can do when decluttering negative people from your life is to love them first and send them off with love in your heart. Ending anything with screaming or harmful words is not healthy for either party. That's why it's important to understand where their negativity is coming from and also know that you don't need to be a part of it. Saying no to a relationship doesn't mean you have to stop loving a person.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_04] If anything, there should be more love involved. Making restrictions to a negative relationship should come from a place of love for that person as well as for yourself. Set some ground rules. Once you have established why you're hanging on, what you can gain from letting go, and also understand where this person is coming from, you can start to set healthy ground rules. Limiting texts or phone calls is a good start. No longer joining your coworker for happy hour,

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_04] or even only seeing family on Christmas, are some great healthy starts. In my post, 365 Ways to Live a Better Life in 365 Days, I also touch on the importance of decluttering negative people from your Facebook, Instagram, or other social networks. If that is a particular area where you struggle, the solution is as simple as a click of a button. In other cases, it may take a little more effort.

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_04] Sharing your thoughts with a person can take a lot of stress off of you. Being able to finally speak how you feel about their behavior can be life-changing for you. Chances are, this person is so set in their ways, they won't make any lasting changes based on your feelings. Be okay with that. Unlike stuff, you don't have to toss out a relationship completely. You just need some healthy ground rules to live by. Doing this can lower your stress level

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_04] and take any guesswork out of the relationship. Maybe you'll need to discuss these ground rules with them. Maybe it's something you can implement on your own. Whatever the case, it is important to follow through. Follow through. Negative people will see any second guessing as their way to sneak back into the areas of your life that you don't want them to be a part of. That is why it is so important to follow through with whatever ground rules you have set.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_04] Remind yourself that this is for the love of the other person as well as yourself. You just listened to the post titled How to Downsize Your Life from Negative People by Rene Bennis of thefunsizedlife.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. Hydration isn't just chugging water, it's about absorbing it effectively. That's where Liquid IV shines.

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[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_04] Go to shopify.com slash old, shopify.com slash old. Thank you to Renee. We talk a lot about decluttering physical possessions from junk drawers to sentimental items, but we don't always apply that same thinking to the people we spend time with. And most likely because relationships are much more complex than deciding whether to keep or donate a shirt, for example.

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_04] Now, this does come up on Optimal Relationships Daily from time to time, but I thought it was good for us to hear it on this podcast too. I've definitely noticed how being around certain people can be draining, whereas with others, it's more uplifting or energizing. I don't think it's a stretch to say that people can affect both our mental and physical health, but decluttering relationships can definitely be easier said than done. I like that she mentioned social networks

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_04] because that's probably the easiest place to start. You don't even have to unfollow necessarily. Nowadays, most networks let you click on a post and choose to see less of something, a person or a topic. That's probably the easiest way to get started. But if there are relationships that are affecting you in a negative way, hopefully this article gave you something to work with. Again, not easy, but likely worth it in the end. So thank you to Renee for this one, and hopefully this one helped you today.

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_04] With that, have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow as usual, where your optimal life awaits. Thanks. .