3620: 5 Lessons About Self-Confidence, Play and the Meaning of Work (That I Learned From a Toddler) by Ingrid Y Helander

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_03] Wenn jemand Charles und Melanie gesagt hätte, dass sie nach ihrem Tinder-Match gemeinsam einen Channel mit Crazy-Aufgaben starten, also wirklich crazy, fünf Tage auf einer einsamen Insel verbringen, eine Zipline an einem Gurt runterrasen, eine Million Views knacken, eine Wand mit Saugnöpfen hochklettern und Fallschirm springen in Ägypten? Das hätten die beiden niemals geglaubt. Aber das ist das Ding mit Tinder. Es führt dich an Orte, die du nie erwartet hättest. Wohin es dich auch führt. It starts with a swipe. Tinder.

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_01] Kennt ihr auch diesen einen Freund, der morgens einfach so ruckzuck aus dem Bett und danach aus dem Grinsen gar nicht mehr rauskommt? Der sogar noch vor dem ersten Kaffee unverschämt gut gelaunt ist und mit der Morgensonne um die Wette strahlt? Furchtbar. Ekelhaft. Wie kann man nur so...

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_02] Ausgeruht sein? Ganz einfach. Trainiere deinen Schlaf und werde auch du zum Morgenmenschen. Mit der Galaxy Watch 7 oder dem Galaxy Ring und der Samsung Health App.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00] Das ist Optimal Living Daily. 5 Lessons About Self-Confidence, Play, und der Meaning von Work. Das habe ich gelernt von einem Kind von Ingrid Y. Hellender. Und ich bin Justin Molleck, Ihr Personal Narrator, wo ich get permission von den authorsen, die best blogs I can find on personal development, minimalism, productivity, anything that I think will help you live a more meaningful life. And then I simply read their content to you for free, like a big free audiobook.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00] If you like the show, please share it with friends and family, in person or on social, anywhere is always appreciated. For now, let's get right to it and start optimizing your life. 5 Lessons About Self-Confidence, Play, and the Meaning of Work that I Learned from a Toddler by Ingrid Y. Hellender of IngridYHellenderLMFT.com

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00] I'm doing work that I love that feels both playful and meaningful. As I looked at these words I had just written in my morning journal, at first I wasn't sure what they meant. Feeling curious, I began to imagine what playful and meaningful work actually looks like. Instantly, an image of my 19-month-old granddaughter Lucy flashed in my mind's eye. Like most toddlers, Lucy is always busy playing. At first glance, her activity might seem nonsensical, a flight of random movement. But when I closely observe her, as I love to do,

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00] I see the exact combination of play and meaning I meant in my journal. Eyes wide and face calmly determined, she places her baby doll on a blanket on the floor. She pauses and searches a room, finds a washcloth nearby, shakes it flat and lays it over the dolly. A few attempts and the cloth is smooth and where she wants it. Lucy squats down, kisses her little baby, and pops up again. This time she finds a storybook and lays it on the doll's lap.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00] I walk around the room and she grabs another doll to join the first. A pause. She embraces the doll. The hug turns into a quick dance. Now the doll is placed beside her doll friend on the blanket. To the kitchen, Lucy goes. Random and meaningless? No. The play kitchen has food. Babies must eat. Lucy chooses the wooden toy bottle labeled maple syrup. Gathering this and a little plate in her chubby hands, she carefully maneuvers the small stair leading to her dolls.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00] I'm amazed by how much work is in each step. Satisfied that her dollies are fed, she seemingly moves on, making her way through three rooms to the winter hat basket by the back door. Rummaging through, she samples a couple of the hats to find one that suits her. A large mitten on one hand apparently feels just right, and then it's back to the baby dolls. Nothing random about it. She picks up a doll and her intention is clear. She plays that they are taking a walk outside. After a brief amble about the living room,

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00] her mama asks if she'd like to go out for a walk. Yes, she nods, and she's on to her next adventure. Here's what Lucy taught me about meaningful, playful work, and why it's so important that I want to share it with you. Number one, play is not just a joke, downtime, or hilarious moments with friends. Stuart Brown, MD, founder of the National Institute of Play, says, quote, stepping out of a normal routine, finding novelty, being open to serendipity, enjoying the unexpected, embracing a little risk,

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00] and finding pleasure in the heightened vividness of life. These are all qualities of a state of play, end quote. Don't you want novelty, serendipity, a little risk and pleasure in your work? I do. Imagine what you can accomplish with these life-giving characteristics leading the way. Number two, play is your natural way to learn and grow. As I watched Lucy move and create her story, I realized that her play is meaningful. She's putting together ideas, remembering what she has learned,

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00] and rehearsing for her future. Creating as she goes, her mind and body get what they need as naturally as a plant reaches for sun in the springtime. And when you're in a natural state of workflow, isn't that what you are doing? You take what you know and use it. New growth comes out of the soil made up of all you've absorbed through the years. It's easy to see this truth in a toddler as we know the totality of their life experience. But is it any different for you and I? How wonderful to allow our playfulness

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_00] to pull together all that we hold inside and create it anew. Number three, worry blocks your ability to experience playful, meaningful work. As you grow, you become more and more aware of yourself and other people's responses to you. This is a good thing. A toddler is just as happy to pick her nose while playing. But when internal worriers are overactive, they shut down the essential qualities of play, such as risk, novelty, and unexpectedness,

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_00] preferring control, constriction, and certainty. Imagine a child, animal, or plant surviving under those conditions. Now imagine your work under those same conditions. You may actually know what this looks like. Dull, safe, and routine. Work stifled by worry is just work. Creativity, or play, is lost, and along with it goes the meaning that makes work productive. Number four, by calming worry, you release the playful, meaningful capacity of your work.

[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_00] As you've grown into a life characterized by more and more worry, the parts of you that long for free, creative expression get pushed aside for safer measures. Meet your worries and hear their concerns, and you can help them relax and step back. This action allows your creative and playful parts to reemerge. Each time I write for public view, I have to reassure my worrying parts that I'll do my best, and that any small errors won't have catastrophic results. Not an easy sell to my little worriers who have evidence to the contrary from my past.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00] However, when I remind them that I've survived and am here for them, they calm. Then and only then can I begin to write to you. Playfulness can come out as I write, providing meaning as I think of the people I care about. It's fun. How will this manifest for you? And number five, playful, meaningful work leads to lasting self-confidence. Each time I visit Lucy, she is more capable. Shaky steps have become certain. She can manipulate her environment more and more

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00] in ways that satisfy her. Similarly, when you're calm enough to find the playful flow of your work, whatever that work may be, you'll notice a sense of your own capability. As you recognize how capable you have become, your accomplishments fuel self-confidence. Life and work are more meaningful as you engage your whole self in the process without constraining or controlling parts that wish to play. You just listened to the post titled Five Lessons About Self-Confidence,

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00] Play, and the Meaning of Work That I Learned From a Toddler by Ingrid Y. Hellander of ingridyhellanderlmft.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business.

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[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00] I love how easy it is, tear, pour, and enjoy knowing it boosts my hydration for any hot summer plan. It's perfect for my travels or being outdoors, even for working, helping me stay hydrated and energized. Liquid IV is powered by LIV HydroScience with an optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink. It's also non-GMO, vegan, and gluten-free.

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_00] Break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. No matter what your summer brings, tear, pour, live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first order with code OLD at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code OLD at liquidiv.com. Big thanks to Ingrid for letting me share her work.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00] Helander is spelled H-E-L-A-N-D-E-R. She has a master's degree in marriage and family therapy. That's where the LMFT comes from in her website name that stands for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Check out her site for a lot more. Again, that's Ingrid Y. Helander, L-M-F-T.com. Thank you to Ingrid for sharing her content with us. I'm sure I'll have more from her soon. Her post of looking at how a child plays reminds me of something called beginner's mind. It's nice to once in a while remember

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00] what it was like doing or seeing something for the first time, like the first time you tasted your favorite food or things like that, because it was so special. And then when we've had it a lot of times or experienced something a lot of times, we almost take advantage of that and forget how great it is. That can happen with a lot of things in life. It's always nice to take a beginner's mind or a fresh perspective. So it's something to think about. But that'll do it for today. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits. HAPPY

[00:10:55] HAPPY