3621: Loving What I Used to Hate AND My Loss by Derek Sivers on Self-Discovery and Personal Clarity

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_03] Wenn jemand Charles und Melanie gesagt hätte, dass sie nach ihrem Tinder-Match gemeinsam einen Channel mit Crazy-Aufgaben starten, also wirklich crazy, fünf Tage auf einer einsamen Insel verbringen, eine Zipline an einem Gurt runterrasen, eine Million Views knacken, eine Wand mit Saugnöpfen hochklettern und Falschirm springen in Ägypten? Das hätten die beiden niemals geglaubt. Aber das ist das Ding mit Tinder. Es führt dich an Orte, die du nie erwartet hättest. Wohin es dich auch führt. It starts with a swipe. Tinder.

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_01] Kennt ihr auch diesen einen Freund, der morgens einfach so ruckzuck aus dem Bett und danach aus dem Grinsen gar nicht mehr rauskommt? Der sogar noch vor dem ersten Kaffee unverschämt gut gelaunt ist und mit der Morgensonne um die Wette strahlt? Furchtbar. Ekelhaft. Wie kann man nur so...

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_02] Ausgeruht sein? Ganz einfach. Trainiere deinen Schlaf und werde auch du zum Morgenmenschen. Mit der Galaxy Watch 7 oder dem Galaxy Ring und der Samsung Health App.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. Loving what I used to hate. And My Loss. Both by Derek Sivers of Sivers, that's S-I-V-E dot R-S. And your narrator Justin Malek reading you blogs every single day of the year, including holidays. Two posts today, actually. So let's get right to them as we optimize your life.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00] Loving what I used to hate. By Derek Sivers of Sivers, S-I-V-E dot R-S. Be careful when you say you like or dislike something because you could change your mind soon. The first time I heard Tom Waits' music when he was a guest on David Letterman, I thought it was so horrible that it must be a joke. Even years later, when I heard him again, I hated his music passionately.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00] But then I heard his cover version of the Cole Porter song, It's Alright With Me, and loved it. So I got his album Rain Dogs and fell in love with it, and the rest of his music too. The funny thing is, on YouTube I found his old performance of my new favorite song, then realized it was the same appearance on David Letterman that I'd hated so much before. I had no prejudice against Indonesia at first.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00] I was running CDbaby.com out of my bedroom in New York selling CDs to the world. I started getting huge orders from Indonesia shipping thousands of dollars worth of CDs there. Then after a few months, the banks told me those were fraudulent orders placed with stolen credit cards, and they took all the money back. I cursed Indonesia as a nation of thieves and blocked all Indonesian orders on my site. Ten years later, I was living in Singapore and was invited to speak at TEDxJakarta.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00] I listened to 20 Indonesian speakers telling their stories and showing their amazing work. It was so heartwarming and endearing. I spent a week in the home of my new Indonesian friends and fell in love with the people there. Afterwards, I remembered, I used to hate Indonesia, but experience erases prejudice. The same thing with weightlifting. For decades, I mocked it as the mindless activity of dumb, vain jocks.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00] Then I kept reading scientific research showing that it's one of the best things you can do for your health. So I tried it, and have loved it ever since. Of course, there are examples going the other way too. Food and music I used to like as a teenager, but don't like anymore. I have to smile thinking about what my former self would say. But the former self is not always right.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_00] We shouldn't preserve our first opinions as if they reflect our pure, untarnished, true nature. They're often just a result of inexperience or a temporary phase. Old opinions shouldn't define who we are in the future. My Loss by Derek Sivers of Sivers In one year, my wife divorced me and took my life savings.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00] 90% of my company was no longer mine on a technicality. My apartment was destroyed, so I slept and showered in the warehouse. All my employees, led by my good friend and VP, led a mutiny against me. I never returned and never saw them again. I invested everything I had left in a mutual fund, which fell 50% immediately and never came back.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00] And the woman I was madly in love with married the guy she would always complain to me about. Two weeks after that year ended, three companies called asking if I wanted to sell my company. Though I had said no to that question for 10 years, this time, I said yes. I had messed up so bad, I had to walk away. I had done everything wrong and needed to cleanse myself of all those bad decisions.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00] I needed to take some time to learn from my mistakes and replace my thoughts with new ones. A self-made back-to-schooling. I look back at that year and, no, it won't get much worse. If I can handle that, I can handle anything. The company sale was announced. The first time someone said congratulations, I said, For what? I messed up so bad I lost my baby. That's nothing to congratulate. For future congratulations, I just shrug.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00] We all underestimate our ability to massively change our life when it's gone off track. Say no where you used to say yes. Say yes where you used to say no. Do the thing that scares you the most, then get up and go. For those of you considering a massive change, I can tell you from experience, it's awesome here on the other side. You just listened to the posts titled,

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00] Loving What I Used to Hate and My Loss, both by Derek Sivers of Sivers, that's S-I-V-E dot R-S. And I'll be right back with my commentary. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business.

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[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00] I love how easy it is, tear, pour, and enjoy, knowing it boosts my hydration for any hot summer plan. It's perfect for my travels or being outdoors, even for working, helping me stay hydrated and energized. Liquid IV is powered by LIV HydroScience, with an optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink. It's also non-GMO, vegan, and gluten-free.

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[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_00] I've definitely had those moments where I was sure something wasn't for me, but then I discovered I was totally wrong. I actually think this podcast counts as one of those. While it was my idea, before that, if you were to ask me if I'd host one, I'm positive I would have said never. But back then, everything I listened to was either heavily produced storytelling-style podcasts or interviews, both of which aren't really something I could see myself doing still to this day.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_00] But thinking a little bit outside the box, somehow I landed on reading to people and I've never looked back. I think one quick exercise we could do together is thinking about one thing we've decided we don't like. It could be a food, activity, or type of music. And then we can ask ourselves, what if I give it another try just to see? Try it out and let's see what happens when we open the door to a new perspective. So thank you to Derek for this one.

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you for being here and listening through to the end. I can only keep doing this with you continuing to listen. Wishing you an amazing rest of your day and week and month and year, of course. And I'll see you tomorrow as usual, where your optimal life awaits.