3623: Letting Go Of The Past: Always Look At What You Have Left by Allison Carmen on Gratitude and Mindfulness

[00:00:01] [SPEAKER_03] Wenn jemand Charles und Melanie gesagt hätte, dass sie nach ihrem Tinder-Match gemeinsam einen Channel mit crazy Aufgaben starten, also wirklich crazy, fünf Tage auf einer einsamen Insel verbringen, eine Zipline an einem Gurt runterrasen, eine Million Views knacken, eine Wand mit Saugnöpfen hochklettern und Falschirm springen in Ägypten? Das hätten die beiden niemals geglaubt. Aber das ist das Ding mit Tinder. Es führt dich an Orte, die du nie erwartet hättest. Wohin es dich auch führt. It starts with a swipe. Tinder.

[00:00:29] [SPEAKER_01] Kennt ihr auch diesen einen Freund, der morgens einfach so ruckzuck aus dem Bett und danach aus dem Grinsen gar nicht mehr rauskommt? Der sogar noch vor dem ersten Kaffee unverschämt gut gelaunt ist und mit der Morgensonne um die Wette strahlt? Furchtbar. Ekelhaft. Wie kann man nur so...

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_02] Ausgeruht sein? Ganz einfach. Trainiere deinen Schlaf und werde auch du zum Morgenmenschen. Mit der Galaxy Watch 7 oder dem Galaxy Ring und der Samsung Health App.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. Letting Go of the Past. Always Look at What You Have Left. By Alison Karman of AlisonKarman.com. And I'm Justin Malek, your personal narrator every day including weekends and holidays. Now let's jump right into it as we optimize your life. Letting Go of the Past. Always Look at What You Have Left. By Alison Karman of AlisonKarman.com. Quote,

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00] Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost. Robert A. Schuller. When I was young, I had big hair. My hair was curly, black, and frizzy and it caused me to stand out in a crowd. People were always saying to me, Alison, you have to do something about that hair. I became a bit insecure about my hair and tried everything to make it straight and not frizzy. My hair became something that always bothered me.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00] Over the last 10 years, I've noticed that my hair is a little thinner than it was and I'm often battling new gray hairs. I look back on my childhood hair and miss it. I miss the fullness and the shine. Yet when I had that hair, I did not appreciate it and I was struggling with my hair again for different reasons. Then a few months ago, I was out on the street and I saw an older woman with some bald spots. In that moment, I was struck by the thought that I could be that woman one day. It could be any of us.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00] I realized that in 30 years, I might be thinking about my hair as it is today and probably missing it. Probably missing the gray hairs that might have fallen out and left some bald patches. Longing for the hair of my youth is not the most painful or significant thing in my life. However, it is a simple example of how we hold on to the past. Some of us long for our 20-something bodies, our carefree childhoods, or the opportunities we had when we were younger.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_00] We also obsess about relationships that ended years ago, a former job that we really enjoyed, or money lost in the stock market. There's nothing wrong with remembering these things we once had in our lives, but sometimes these memories are the source of our pain. The reason it can be so painful is that often we cannot recreate the past and we compare it to what we have in the present. It doesn't mean that we won't have great things come into our lives in the future, sometimes even better things.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00] If we lose a great job, we can get another terrific job. We can set goals and do our best to achieve them. Yet everything changes, and for better or worse, the past is no longer with us. Everything in this moment is different from yesterday and the day before. So we have a choice. We can continue to long for what was and live with pain in this moment, or find another way.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00] There are ways to get the most out of this moment, even if it is not what we hoped for, dreamed of, or expected. Here are three steps to help you try to let go of yesterday and embrace today with less pain. This can be a slow process, and certain things we hold on to can be tougher to let go. But try these steps and see if you feel a little lighter. Number one, acceptance. When we refuse to accept where we are in our lives, it causes pain.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00] Arguing with what is is like banging your head against the wall. It hurts. Acceptance does not mean we won't try to improve our circumstances, but we need to be able to remember yesterday without holding on to it so tight. It is not an easy task to let go of youth, a relationship, or something that was very important, but the pain of clinging to something that can no longer be is excruciating. I don't write this lightly and understand the struggle of acceptance.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00] We are asking ourselves to let go of a very meaningful past as we try to accept what is. But if we don't let go, we are shouldering a burden and limiting ourselves from finding new ways to live and new hopes and dreams to pursue. Take a moment and think about a few aspects of your life that you are not accepting. How would it feel not to struggle with it anymore? Can you accept this circumstance and relax into the moment? Can you accept your situation and still try to improve your position in the future?

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00] Try the mantra, I did not expect this, but I accept this. Maybe everything is still okay. I use this mantra often and find it gives me a foundation for finding acceptance. It helps me feel hopeful that I can live with my present circumstance and find a way to move forward. Number two, appreciation. When I saw the woman with bald spots, I was not judging her appearance, but was realizing how everything changes whether or not I am holding on to the past.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00] Allowing myself to appreciate what I have in this moment brought me more peace and acceptance with my current circumstances. Sure, I was just thinking about hair and not an illness or the loss of a job, but the same mindset can apply to most aspects of our lives. Appreciating what we have in any moment from good health to a good meal, from a friendship or our memories of friendships, helps us to be more content with what is today. We can also experience how lucky we are to have had those cherished experiences from our past.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00] Number three, something new. Sometimes we need to try something new to create some distance from the past. Take a class, apply for a new job, volunteer, take up a sport or a new hobby. It will help your mind get busy with the present instead of thinking about yesterday. When we allow ourselves to engage in new activities, we inspire new thoughts and we often meet new people. Our new activities might not be what they used to be or even what we expected at this point in our lives,

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00] but action can move us forward with joy and open us up to wonderful opportunities. We start to see that life was always moving forward and only we were hanging on to the pain of yesterday. Acceptance, appreciation, and finding something new, a good recipe for reducing our daily pain of longing for yesterday. Today has its own gifts if we are willing to be present enough to open them. Maybe the best is yet to come.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_00] You just listened to the post titled, Letting Go of the Past. Always Look at What You Have Left by Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business.

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[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_00] It's called 10 Minutes to Less Suffering. There's great steps here, acceptance, appreciation, and finding something new. I know acceptance can be tough, but it is freeing if we can get through it. And the appreciation step reminds me of the gratitude practice that I've had for a while now. I think it helps me fall asleep, actually. Now, I know writing it down is probably the best option, but I've been enjoying just thinking about it as I'm closing my eyes to go to bed.

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00] I think of three things I appreciate about myself, and then also three things I'm grateful for. I got that from a personal development retreat. And trying something new, always great, might not be for us, but at least we gave it a shot. So maybe today we can pick just one of Allison's steps and give it a try. Although that's trying something new, isn't it? So kind of a two-for-one deal. But I'll leave you there for today. Hope you have a great rest of your day. I appreciate you being here and listening every day.

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00] And being here even for Friday and weekend episodes means a lot. And I'll see you tomorrow, as usual, over the weekend, where your optimal life awaits. And you'll see you tomorrow. Share your hands.

[00:10:31] Hope you are. Thank you.