3624: How To Break Old Habits Before They Break You by Rosalyn Palmer on Personal Development

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[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. How to break old habits before they break you. By Rosalind Palmer of rosalindpalmer.com And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every single day of the year, your daily dose of positivity. So with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. How to break old habits before they break you. By Rosalind Palmer of rosalindpalmer.com

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_00] Many best-selling self-help books are about creating healthy habits. You may have read several of them, such as the seven habits of highly successful people, atomic habits, tiny habits, the power of habit, or make your bed. Some also address how to break old unwanted habits. The combination of this freedom plus installing new desirable and sustainable behaviors is nirvana. Over 40% of our daily actions are habitual.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00] Think of them as repeat responses that have worked for us in some way in the past, that are automatically fired by our brains as a shortcut to success. Sadly, your subconscious mind isn't very subtle. Each day you are alive, it regards its job as done. That's because we are wired via the primitive part of our brain to simply survive to ensure that our species continues. Now with extended lifespans, we want lives that are more nuanced.

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00] Lives that include being happy and fulfilled, and the ability to feel good about ourselves and our choices. So when a bad or undesired habit keeps cropping up, we not only can find it hard to break, but also suffer from feelings of failure that we can't stop it. It's like we're living our own personal groundhog day with recurring habits that can keep us in pain or hold us back. Culturally, we are then led to believe that if only we had more willpower,

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00] then we would be able to change. If where there's a will, there's a way were true, then all New Year's resolutions would come true, and everyone who went on a diet and has shown that they have the will to lose weight would do so. Permanently. Sadly, experience has probably taught you that intention means nothing, and these well-intentioned actions can be thwarted and you end up feeling worse than before. So know this.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00] It is not because you lack willpower or are weak-willed. Speaking consciously, it highlights the need to develop a proper mindset, framework, and systems to create the actions and habits to enable you to succeed. Plus a really compelling reason why. According to neuroscientist Jud Brewer, MD, PhD, the secret to creating a habit that you can stick with is to become enchanted with it.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00] He says that when we try new things, we are for a while really enchanted with them. So remembering how this feels and focusing on the bigger, better offer or BBO of what that new habit will bring you, in other words, the why of doing it, is key. While we regard people with good habits and successful lives as being highly self-controlled, research in this area indicates what they are really good at is understanding how situations influence our actions.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00] They create the right environment for desirable, repeated actions. In addition, they eliminate friction and the temptation to fall back into an old familiar, old pattern of behavior. In other words, they set themselves up for success. Rather like someone wanting to stay sober for October, they replace the habit of a glass of wine each evening with something else. This could be a substitute for the wine that keeps the ritual of pouring it out. So they select their favorite wine glass,

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00] put some olives in a dish, and then pour a chilled glass of kombucha instead. Success can also be achieved by distracting yourself at the key trigger time. Subscribing to an online Pilates class at 7pm, followed by watching a movie at 8pm, for example, will get you through the temptation time when it was easy to reach for that habitual drink. But are conscious actions enough? I'm wearing my therapist hat here.

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00] It is true that will or willpower does reside at your subconscious level. The prefrontal cortex creates and regulates logic, reason, willpower, voice, decision-making, and good judgment in the brain. It can regulate emotional responses because it adapts to solve problems caused by the emotional responses of the subconscious. This is why people talk about rewiring your brain.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00] Neural pathways through the RAS or reticular activating system are reinforced via repeated emotional responses that lead to actions. And those actions are founded on a few key factors. Firstly, a trigger or a cue. This can be a conscious behavior such as getting home and changing into your sweatpants and feeling the need to relax each evening. Secondly, there is a routine. We can get into new ones quickly.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00] Thirdly, there is a reward. The good news is that once you recognize the pattern that is no longer working for you, it can be broken. After all, if it is a really destructive behavior, you don't want it to break you. The frustration of vowing to change a behavior, even if the behavior isn't physically unhealthy, and then failing repeatedly to do so can affect adversely your emotional well-being and self-esteem.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_00] The counter is to take control and here to help you at any time is a handy new habit. H-A-B-I-T. H, have the right environment to foster success. H-A-B-I-T.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_00] H-A-B-A-B-I-T. and I'll be right back with my commentary. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout, the one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it, because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business.

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[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_00] I love how easy it is, tear, pour, and enjoy, knowing it boosts my hydration for any hot summer plan. It's perfect for my travels or being outdoors, even for working, helping me stay hydrated and energized. Liquid IV is powered by LIV HydroScience with an optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins, and three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink. It's also non-GMO, vegan, and gluten-free.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_00] Break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. No matter what your summer brings, tear, pour, live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first order with code OLD at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code OLD at liquidiv.com. Thank you to Roslyn. Really good one to think about. It's so true how much of our day

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00] is just on autopilot, right? Our brains are just trying to get through taking those shortcuts, and sometimes those shortcuts are great, but other times they're the habits we're trying to shake. I've definitely fallen into that trap about willpower, thinking if I just try harder, I can change a habit. I remember when I first started trying to be more consistent with processing all the little bits that go with each podcast episode. You know, reading, scripting, recording, editing, and so on.

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_00] I'd record, but then the trigger was there to just put off the editing. The old routine was to say, I'll get to it later. And the reward was that temporary feeling of, ah, not right now. But later always comes and it would just kind of hang over me. And it wasn't about lacking the willpower to do it. It was more that I hadn't really set myself up for success like Roslyn talked about. I think the environment piece is huge. Now I feel like things are a bit more tied together.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_00] The ritual around finishing a recording now includes getting the editing started. It really shows how those small tweaks to our surroundings or our routines can make a bigger difference than just trying to use willpower. Definitely some good reminders in there for all of us, I think. So thank you to Roslyn. Thank you for being here. I've only been able to keep doing this with you coming back to listen. Have a great rest of your day and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.