3638: The Manifestation of Inner Strength by Ryan Holiday on Emotional Peace and Resilience

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[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_02] This is Optimal Living Daily, The Manifestation of Inner Strength by Ryan Holiday of RyanHoliday.net. And I'm Justin Malik, the guy reading to you every day of the year to give you a little boost of inspiration, motivation, happiness, productivity, all that stuff. Today featuring an article from Ryan Holiday, the popular writer and podcaster. You can check out his podcast, The Daily Stoic, wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02] But for now, let's get right to another post and start optimizing your life. The Manifestation of Inner Strength by Ryan Holiday of RyanHoliday.net My body aches to quit. My muscles turn to stone or wood. And yet my mind is two miles down the road.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_02] There's no question of quitting. No possibility of stopping early. I've broken the spirit of my body like a rider to a Mustang. Spurs scraping deep against the flesh till the blood flows freely. The sweat pouring from my skull like streams from melting snow, dumping salt into the scratches and cuts and ground. I care little, if at all. Two more laps makes three miles, which makes two miles left.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_02] But the last one is just a sprint anyway. A good runner comes to be optimistic in their math. It's not out of compassion for their body. On the contrary, it's because the end is where the battle is, where you can really exert that crushing authority. Where your lungs gasp and cry for air, and calves stretched like taunt cables and like a light switch, you take it to a whole other level.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_02] And all the body's whining fades to background noise as you conquer your own limitations. But today, here, I could barely move. Nearly 30 miles a week for a month straight is bound to catch up with you. And did it ever. At mile two, my body stopped responding. That control I cherished so much left me, as it does a general, attacked on both fronts.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_02] Screaming commands left and right, faster, longer strides, anything. Just don't slow down, but nothing worked. And as it left me, so too did my spirit. My confidence is founded on this premise, that I had grown to a position of control. That my body was the subject of my mind, and never the reverse. At least, never again. I tend to agree with Aurelius when he said the body was just rotting meat in a bag.

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_02] Or Tyler Durden, that self-improvement is masterful. I refer self-flagellation to self-improvement. Self-destruction, Jack had responded, was a whole different animal. The work I do on my body is not about looks or health. A sculpted body, to me, is the sign of a sculpted mind. The media, even popular culture, doesn't exactly bear this theory out, but that's not really important.

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_02] To some, the body is the manifestation of what's on the inside. It embodies, literally, determination. It's a punching bag, the scourge for frustrations. For that control to escape me, for the first time since I really started, was shock I could not prepare for. It wasn't long ago that this relationship was inverted, and my mind would scream for me to quit long before my body.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_02] In retrospect, it was pathetic, but then again, most youth is. To have a mind that's reluctant to be inside itself or weary of itself is not healthy. It's the mark of an intellectual weakling, to not enjoy the time to think, to not relish control. But that's where I was. I promised myself that I would win, that I would finish. As I've so often found, when you really want something, it doesn't come easy.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_02] You grind it out one step at a time, the world fighting you for every inch. That's how it was here, at the speed of walker and the form of a runner. Tears welled in my eyes, limbs barely moved. My legs turned to stone dragging behind me, tin cans tied to a car. The track circles basketball courts. As I slowly passed them, I'd turn my head in shame, not wanting anyone to see me like this.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_02] The struggle inside me is epic, but on the outside, it's nothing. Pathetic even. I'd have loved to shout, This is a watershed moment. I'm overcoming an obstacle. But instead, my actions said, Slow. Lazy. But, I did finish. I eked out every last step, hitting the end with perfect form at breakneck slowness. There was no glory in it. I felt awful. Worse even than I had in each lap prior.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_02] This isn't Forrest Gump, and all you've got to do is break free of the leg braces. This is reality, and it's ugly and hard. When I stopped, I collapsed into the grass and laid there until I could breathe. And I sat and stretched, something I hadn't taken the time to do in weeks. As the body contorts and really pulls closer to itself, the tension dissipates. It's a paradox, surely, that when you place it under literal strain,

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_02] the imaginary kind, the kind your head creates as it races to a flurry, just goes away. I felt the pain flow from my body and into the air. When I rose, my steps were free and unhindered. My mind relaxed and slowed. Clear for the first time. And yet, as I walked away, I could not shake the feeling that I wasn't finished. So I stopped and sat on the stairs that looked down on the track.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_02] There I stayed and just thought, finally without that self-loathing that so often accompanies my inner monologues. What was that I was running from? Why do I do this? Come here and eviscerate my body with such completion and disregard? Can extreme discipline justify the rest of my excessive? Or at least counterbalance it? I left with no more answers than I had come with. That's not really how life works.

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_02] Epiphanies don't come to those who beg or sit and ponder. They snap at the unexpected, the dismal and the hopeless. Surprisingly, I was none of these, not today at least. Peace had enveloped me as I rested on those stairs, hands clasped atop my head. The drums of a rush song pounded away, beating the rhythm for my thoughts. Quote, We sometimes catch a window, a glimpse of what's beyond, end quote.

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_02] For once, to be without that hatred, that disappointment, was all I needed. Here was my hope. Though my body had all but quit, hit a wall that left it barely able to stand, my mind had granted me a reprieve. There was no twinge of crushing sadness, no reminder of the loneliness or sleepless nights. Just genuine self-reflection and with that, relaxation.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_02] And I felt the push and pull of restless rhythms from afar, which once more brought me to my feet. And I ran the distance home with a lighter low than I had come with, than I had woken up with. You just listened to the post titled, The Manifestation of Inner Strength by Ryan Holiday of ryanholiday.net. And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_02] Trust me, you'll feel the difference the very first night. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, stay cozy. Thank you to Ryan. I'm definitely not a runner. The closest I felt to this recently was probably either with rowing or long meditation sessions. Very different, but I think I could still relate on some level. Maybe it's something totally different for you, but you could still probably relate. Right?

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_02] There's that constant urge to just give in, to quit, and to escape that discomfort. It's a real struggle, that feeling of your body hitting a wall, but trying to get your mind to a place where it can just observe without reacting, or to gently push past what you thought your limits were. Like you said, there isn't always some epiphany at the end. For me, it can sometimes come later that day, even days after. So it's a great one from Ryan.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_02] Thank you to Ryan for this one. And a reminder that he has a popular podcast himself. It's called The Daily Stoic. Well-reviewed. Definitely worth a listen. You can find it wherever you get your podcasts. Again, that's The Daily Stoic. But I think that'll do it for today. Thank you for being here and listening every day. It means a lot that you keep coming back to listen. And if you've ever shared this show with someone, that goes a really long way to keep all of this going. So thank you for that. Have a great day, more night, and I'll see you back here again tomorrow,

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_02] where your optimal life awaits. Bye-bye.