3644: Getting Over Your Fear of Missing Out by Nir Eyal and Stuart Luman of Nir And Far on Intentional Living

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_01] Hey Sandra, wir haben uns ja lange nicht mehr gesehen. Grüß dich Nadine. Mensch, du siehst ja toll aus. Ja danke, ich habe mein Plus fürs gesündere Ich entdeckt. Was? Komm, ich zeig's dir.

[00:00:13] [SPEAKER_00] Die Bewegungskurse der AOK Plus. Kostenfrei für AOK Plus Versicherte. Entdecke dein Plus fürs gesündere Ich und starte mit unserem Self-Check. Ganz einfach online auf aok.de. Aus Liebe zur Gesundheit. AOK Plus.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_02] Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_02] This is Optimal Living Daily. Getting Over Your Fear of Missing Out by Nir Eyal and Stuart Luman with nearandfar.com. And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading blogs to you mostly but sometimes books, anything that I think will help you optimize your life. Today's post being from Nir Eyal with a co-author. For now, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. Getting Over Your Fear of Missing Out by Nir Eyal and Stuart Luman with nearandfar.com.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_02] I wish that I could be like the cool kids goes the catchy hook from the hit song by Echo Smith. The official video has been viewed over 15 million times on YouTube, perhaps tapping into something deeper than mere adolescent angst. We all want to be like the cool kids. In 2013, the word FOMO was added to the Oxford English Dictionary. The fear of missing out refers to the feeling of anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_02] Although the terminology has only recently been added to our lexicon, experiencing FOMO is nothing new. Most people at one time or another have been preoccupied by the idea that someone, somewhere, is having a better time, making more money, or leading a more exciting life. For those who skew towards such feelings, smartphones and social media have made it easier than ever to track what others are doing. Of course, there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep tabs on people we care about.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_02] An important part of what makes us human is our need to be social. But recently, companies have found ways to tap into this impulse to keep users coming back to their apps and websites habitually. Whether social media induces FOMO or simply makes it easier to indulge in our feelings is up for debate. It's not surprising that something as new and transformative as this technology would have complex implications on our daily lives, both positive and negative. According to a 2014 study in the journal Behavioral Addictions,

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_02] Habitual Facebook users were motivated by their need to socialize and connect with others, to escape boredom, and to monitor their friends' activities, what the authors called surveillance gratification. The study also found a correlation between depression and anxiety and higher social media usage. A 2013 study in Computers and Human Behavior featured a series of 10 statements, such as, I get worried when I find out my friends are having fun without me,

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_02] and asked participants to rate themselves from 1 to 5 on how well those statements correlated with their own lives. The study found that three-quarters of respondents, mostly college-age students, experienced FOMO. Those who scored higher were more likely to report lower life satisfaction and use social media immediately before and after sleeping, during meals and classes, and to engage in dangerous behaviors such as texting while driving. Not all studies reached such negative conclusions.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_02] A 2014 study found shy and depressive individuals benefited from increased social media use and online relationships, while a 2009 study in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication found a positive correlation between college students' use of Facebook and increased life satisfaction, civic engagement, and political participation. It's clear that we can't yet fully grasp how new technologies affect our psyches. Regardless, it appears that they are here to stay.

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_02] Therefore, it is up to us as users to figure out where, when, and how often to use these products and services. Here are a few suggestions for keeping gadgets and FOMO in check. Number one, relish feeling out of the loop. Great things are indeed happening out there, and sometimes you're not invited. Admit that you are missing out, and there's nothing you can do about it. In fact, one approach may be to savor the fact.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_02] Blogger and entrepreneur Anil Dash wrote about the joy of missing out, a term he coined to describe the satisfaction of doing things on his own terms. Dash learned to find pleasure in JOMO, after the birth of his son when he discovered the simple joy of getting home in time to give his son a bath and put him to bed. Number two, take a hiatus from social media. Try staying offline for a day, a week, or maybe even a month. Examples abound of people cutting themselves off

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_02] and waking up to the wonders of the real world. Steve Corona, former CTO of TwitPic, did just that in 2012. He took himself off social media for a full month. It changed his life. He read books, spent time with friends, meditated, ran three miles a day, and wrote a book. When he returned, he intentionally decided which sites he spent time on and which he didn't. Number three, use software to avoid coming to FOMO.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_02] Apps such as Moment for iOS, Break Free for Android, Rescue Time for Windows, or Self Control for Mac, generate reports to help users see just how much time they spend online, and set time limits. For those who need more radical solutions, internet blocking software freedom, or browser extensions such as Website Blocker or Waste No Time, block sites that cause unwanted distractions. Number four, delete social media apps from your mobile device.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_02] It is not as radical as quitting Facebook altogether, but is a quick and relatively easy way to reduce social media use when you are away from the computer. And number five, for those who need a full-on intervention, enroll in a digital detox camp like Camp Grounded. The camp is located two and a half hours northwest of San Francisco and set on an idyllic property amid redwoods. At the camp, adults get in touch with their pre-smartphone selves by playing capture the flag, gazing at the stars,

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_02] writing songs, and engaging in analog pursuits like print photography and woodworking. Rules are simple. No work talk, no watches, no outside food, no booze or drugs, and of course, no digital technology. Clearly, what we see of others online isn't a full representation of their lives. Instead, it's personal social media marketing, similar to the images of airbrushed models in fashion magazines that highlight and exaggerate only their most positive aspects.

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_02] The inevitable disappointments, cringeworthy embarrassments, personal failures, and existential doubts are rarely seen in Facebook posts. It's also important to remember that most people experience FOMO to some degree and at some time. The uncomfortable emotion is normal and with the advent of social sharing tools increasingly common. However, understanding the feeling and finding positive ways to deal with it can help us be happier with our own lives without getting wrapped up in a fear that we might be missing out

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_02] on what the cool kids are doing. You just listened to the post titled Getting Over Your Fear of Missing Out by Nir Eyal and Stuart Luman with nearandfar.com and I'll be right back with my commentary. Summer nights used to be brutal for me, tossing, turning, flipping the pillow, until I discovered Cozy Earth. Their temperature regulating sheets have completely transformed how I sleep. They naturally wick away heat and moisture,

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_02] helping me stay several degrees cooler even during the hottest nights. I honestly noticed the difference the very first night. And it's not just the sheets, their all-day tea and studio pant collection have become my go-to for ultimate comfort and breathability during the day. It feels like I'm living in a temperature-controlled cloud, whether I'm lounging at home or trying to stay cool while working. Plus, Cozy Earth offers a 100-night sleep trial so you can test them during the peak of summer. If you're not completely in love,

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_02] you can send them back hassle-free. And all their bedding products come with a 10-year warranty. Upgrade your summer. Go to CozyEarth.com and use code OLD for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me, you'll feel the difference the very first night. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, stay cozy. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_02] You know that purple ShopPay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Shopify gives you that leg up from day dot with hundreds of beautiful, ready-to-go templates

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_02] to express your brand style and forget about the code. Tackle all those important tasks in one place from inventory to payments to analytics and more. If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash old. Go to shopify.com slash OLD. Shopify.com slash old.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_02] Think it in here, FOMO or the fear of missing out is probably something everyone can relate to on some level, especially these days with social media making it so easy to see what everyone else is up to. It's interesting how he talks about companies tapping into this impulse with their apps and websites and that research showing a link between heavy social media use and lower life satisfaction or increased loneliness for some. It's definitely something worth thinking about.

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_02] I was forced to do a digital detox a few times when I've been on retreats usually. Going into it, there's always that thought of, what if I miss an important email or what's happening in the world? That's the FOMO trying to creep in. But after a day or two, it was always just actually really refreshing. So think it in here. Always good to have that reminder that it's okay to not be in on everything all the time. Maybe you can try one of his tips and let me know how it goes.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_02] You can get in touch at oldpodcast.com or by replying to my weekly newsletter, which you can also join at oldpodcast.com. But that should do it for today. Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day and I'll catch you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.