3652: A Life-Changing Challenge: Add One Compliment by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

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[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. A life-changing challenge. Add one compliment. By Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com. And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator. We're going to get right to it as we optimize your life. A life-changing challenge. Add one compliment. By Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com. Quote,

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00] Blessed is he who has learned to admire, but not envy. To follow, but not imitate. To praise, but not flatter. And to lead, but not manipulate. William Arthur Ward. For the past several weeks, I've been trying a little experiment. It's been quite life-transforming. And I recommend it to you.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00] The experiment goes like this. Include one compliment in every conversation. It's that simple. And it's that difficult. The challenge did not start off for me as an intentional experiment. A few weeks ago, I was spending some time with a good friend, someone I look up to in many ways. During a break in the conversation, I mentioned some things I admire about him. I didn't think much of it. In fact, it was actually long overdue.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00] His response surprised me. It was even more emotional than my original compliment. He lifted his head, looked me in the eye, and replied, Thank you, Joshua. I really needed to hear that today. I was reminded that many people are fighting difficult battles. We put on smiling faces, but deep down, we hurt. Sometimes a kind word is the only source of hope we find in our day. I decided from that moment forward,

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00] I would try to be more intentional with my compliments and encouragement. In fact, I would try to work one into every conversation. It has been both challenging and fun. I've not been perfect, but here are some of the results I've noticed. Number one, it benefits others. Compliments encourage others. Through kind words, we remind people of their value and their talents. All of us want to be noticed.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00] Receiving compliments confirms that we are. They provide confidence and joy and hope. Number two, it benefits me. When we share happiness, we receive it. These days, I see more smiles. The experiment also forces me to think less about myself and more about the other person. It's quite self-revealing. I've begun to recognize how few compliments I actually offer in a day. I've been reminded of the power in my words.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00] And number three, it benefits my environment. The people around us create the environments in which we live, work, and play. Spreading joy among them by fostering a culture of encouragement challenges others to do the same. Our work environment feels different. Our home life feels different. And the world around us begins to change just a little bit. Our words are important. They have the potential to carry life within them.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00] And offering heartfelt, sincere compliments is one of the best ways to accomplish that. If you do decide to try the experiment, here are a few things I have learned. Number one, look for a prompt. I found it helpful to associate the challenge with a physical object around me to serve as a reminder, something you'll have present most of the day. There's no need to buy anything new. Just attach special meaning to an article of clothing or jewelry.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00] Use it to remind you of the challenge. It can be easy to forget. Number two, let common sense be your guide. Not every conversation needs a compliment. Some are short. Some are just in passing. And some people we talk to on numerous occasions during the day. So use your common sense. If you talk to your boss, co-worker, or spouse 10 to 15 times each day, offering a compliment each time may get awkward.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00] Settle for a few well-timed, kind words instead. Again, use your best judgment. Number three, keep it natural. The benefits of the challenge seem to diminish significantly when you tell someone, oh, I'm just saying compliments today as part of an experiment. Using your common sense will help to avoid those situations. Number four, try to be specific.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_00] It's not always possible, but specific compliments about a person and what you appreciate about them seem to carry the most weight. Number five, you can always end with a compliment if you need to. More than a few times, I offered my compliment at the very end. It was nice talking to you today, or I'm glad you stopped by seemed to work nicely if I didn't work a compliment into the flow of the conversation. Number six, using a compliment as a transition can also be helpful.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00] They sound very natural. Hey, you're good at math. I have a question for you. I noticed that you do a good job of managing people. Can I ask you something? You're great at solving problems. Can I get your input? They take some forethought, but work really well. Number seven, the more you know someone, the easier it is to think of something nice to say. As might be expected, the better you know somebody, the easier it is to think of and offer a specific compliment.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00] They tend to flow a bit more natural. Keep that in mind because you'll need to work hard around people you don't know as well. Number eight, learn from your mistakes. There will be numerous times each day when you forget to offer a compliment. Don't give up. Instead, try to learn from it. As you walk away, see if you can figure out why you forgot. There are probably several reasons, but I found one of the most common to be the simple fact that

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00] I was more focused on myself during that conversation than the person I was speaking with. Number nine, give it a few days. I recommend committing to the experiment for three days. And number ten, take notice of your response. How does the challenge make you feel? More confident? More joyful? What lessons can you learn from it? And how might it affect the words you choose in the future? Go ahead.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00] Try adding one compliment to every conversation today. I'm confident you'll be really good at it. You just listened to the post titled, A Life-Changing Challenge. Add one compliment. By Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Thank you to Joshua. Joshua, he's such a kind person. I got to meet him before. And this is a great example of that.

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00] It's a simple idea, but like he said, it can be both simple and difficult at the same time. I don't know about you, but sometimes those random, unexpected compliments end up being exchanges that I remember for decades. I can still remember some and look back fondly on those memories. I think that's key, that they're unexpected and feel genuine. Occasionally, I get emails from someone expressing appreciation.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00] Those really stand out because, well, to tell you the truth, it's more common that people only email when there's something they don't like. Sort of the culture these days, like if something's changed with the podcast that they're not thrilled about, they might've been listening for years, quietly, never sent an email. But now that something's changed, they're not happy, well, that'll spark a message. So it feels like those are more common than the complimentary ones. And again, I think that's our culture right now.

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00] So if we take what Joshua is saying to heart, we could really not only benefit others, but ourselves and our environment, like he said. So something to think about today and this week. But I'll leave it there for today. Thank you for being here and listening to me and for subscribing to or following the show and putting up with anything that's changed over the years, which we do to keep these podcasts going. I'll be back tomorrow reading to you where your optimal life awaits.

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