3718: Self-Love 101: How to Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself by Ellen Burgan of If It Brings You Joy

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00] Before we start, please check out our new podcast, Good Sleep. Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting, they can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep. So press play on Good Sleep tonight because a good tomorrow starts with a good sleep.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00] with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Living Daily, Self-Love 101, How to Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself by Ellen Burgan of IfItBringsYouJoy.com. And I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator. Welcome to Optimal Living Daily, OLD for short, where I read the best blogs to you with permission from the authors, covering productivity,

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00] minimalism, personal development, minimalism, personal development, all that good stuff. So with that, let's get right to our next post as we optimize your life. Self-Love 101, How to Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself by Ellen Burgan of IfItBringsYouJoy.com. Self-love goes beyond being important. It leads to better relationships with yourself and others, achieving goals, and feeling awesome.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00] Loving yourself changes everything. And the good news is that self-love is a skill you can develop. But what exactly is self-love and how do you develop it? What does self-love actually mean? Self-love is the act of valuing and appreciating yourself for who you are. For starters, self-love is about accepting your strengths and weaknesses without being a harsh judge. Being kind to yourself, especially when things get tough.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00] And knowing it's totally okay to put yourself first sometimes because your well-being matters. Why is self-love important? In a nutshell, when you feel good about yourself, you're more likely to stop self-criticism and take action towards your goals and dreams. Sometimes with self-love comes the deep knowing that you're pretty amazing just the way you are. What happens when we lack self-love?

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00] When we lack self-love, we tend to be hard on ourselves, always finding faults and feeling like we're never good enough. That constant negative voice in our heads chips away at our confidence and makes us doubt everything we do. Without self-love, we also might end up relying too much on what others think of us, trying to please everyone else instead of staying true to ourselves.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00] Life loses its joy when we don't love ourselves, making it harder to feel happy about achievements or bouncing back from challenging times. 5 Ways to Develop Self-Love Ready to grow your self-love? Here are 5 simple ways to boost your self-love and celebrate the amazing person you are. Number 1. Practice Self-Compassion I put self-compassion first in the list for a reason. It's important.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00] One of the first steps in developing self-love is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding towards yourself rather than judging and criticizing yourself. When you make a mistake or fall short of your expectations, try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. And remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that you're good enough just as you are. It's in these moments that we strengthen our relationship with ourselves, creating a deeper sense of self-love.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_00] Number 2. Set Healthy Boundaries Another important aspect of developing self-love is setting healthy boundaries, which means learning to say no to things that deplete your energy or don't align with your values. Keep your energy for the things that really matter to you. Boundaries also include knowing when to say enough to people who treat you poorly. It's like drawing a line to show that you are worthy of respect and that you deserve to be treated well.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00] Number 3. Create a good self-care routine Putting priority on intentionally taking care of yourself is the basis for self-care, so it's a key part of loving yourself. Overall, this precious and necessary time is meant to give you a little breather from the stresses of life. Self-care positively affects your mind, body, and soul.

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00] Thinking you don't have enough time for self-care is a sign that you're prioritizing other things above yourself, which is not a sign of self-love. You find time to take care of others, so put priority on finding time to take care of yourself. Number 4. Be authentic Being real and staying true to who you are is a big way of showing love to yourself. When you're authentic, you're not trying to be someone you're not just to fit in or please others.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00] You're rocking your uniqueness and staying honest about what you like and what you don't. Your honesty about who you are also creates a space for genuine connections and allows those around you to feel comfortable being themselves too. Authenticity isn't just a gift to yourself, it's a gift you share with the world. Honor your vibe and celebrate every bit of what makes you, well, you. And number 5. Boost your inner joy

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00] Joy often gets lost in the hustle of daily life, yet making yourself super happy on the inside is a big part of loving yourself. Do things that light up your day, whether it's dancing to your favorite tunes, spending time with friends who make you laugh, or just taking time for stuff that makes your heart sing. Boosting your inner joy is all about giving yourself a mega dose of good vibes. The path to self-love

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00] The path to self-love is as unique as you are. Find what works for you and add it into your daily life one step at a time. As you start to feel more positive about yourself, you'll be better able to take action toward your goals and dreams. Self-love is an ongoing process and it takes time and effort to develop. But by practicing self-compassion, setting healthy boundaries, engaging in self-care, being authentically you,

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_00] and boosting your inner joy, you can start to build a foundation of self-love that will serve you well throughout your life. Remember to be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up if you slip up. Keep going and keep working on it. You just listened to the post titled, Self-Love 101, How to Strengthen Your Relationship with Yourself, by Ellen Bergen of IfItBringsYouJoy.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you to Ellen for this one. One, practicing self-compassion and talking to yourself like you would a good friend, I think that's really the foundation for all of this. But it can be hard to know what that actually sounds like in practice. It actually reminds me of a little experiment that I find really helpful and it might sound a little strange at first, but it works. Basically, you could try to picture one of your best friends or even just an imaginary ideal friend. Really see them in your mind. Think about how they would talk to you,

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00] the kind and supportive things they would say. Now think about something you're struggling with or a mistake you made that you're beating yourself up about. Instead of listening to your own critical voice, imagine asking that friend for their advice. What would they say? They probably wouldn't tell you you're a failure, right? They'd probably be a lot more understanding and compassionate. And obviously the trick is that compassionate voice that's really your voice. It's a part of you. This is just a way to access it.

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_00] There's a technique for learning how to treat ourselves the way we so easily treat the people we care about. So next time you find yourself being really hard on yourself, maybe give it a try. Have a little chat with that inner friend. I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes. Hope you're having a great morning, afternoon, or evening whenever you're listening to this. And I'll see you tomorrow. Where your optimal life awaits.