3994: This Probably Isn't For You by Joshua Fields Millburn of The Minimalists on Personal Accountability

[00:00:00] Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:22] This is Optimal Living Daily. This Probably Isn't For You by Joshua Fields Millburn of TheMinimalists.com. And I'm your host and narrator, Justin Mollick, reading to you every day with permission from the authors, all to give us both a little push in the right direction. So with that, let's keep pushing as we optimize your life. This Probably Isn't For You by Joshua Fields Millburn of TheMinimalists.com.

[00:00:52] Bex and I are 15 feet from the bandstand, waiting for one of our favorite musicians to take the stage. A sizable crowd is congregated on the dry grass around us and my back hurts from all this standing on unforgiving turf. Beyond the platform, the sun is setting behind clouds that look more like pastel sand dunes than collections of condensed water in the atmosphere. I'm fidgeting slightly in anticipation, hoping I didn't waste my money after witnessing the forgettable band that opened the show. I hope this turns out to be a good concert.

[00:01:20] Wait, a good concert for whom? Don't get me wrong, the opener wasn't bad. They were well-rehearsed and well-dressed and they performed with vigor. But there were too many electric guitars, for my taste. The songs were too heavy, for my taste. And the drums were too, um, drummy, for my taste. My taste. But most of the crowd wholeheartedly enjoyed the opening band, drummy drums and all.

[00:01:45] I've attended at least 100 concerts in my lifetime, and most of my fondest memories are of discovering gifted opening acts who surprised me with their music, even though much of the crowd was fidgeting for the headliner. So just because I wasn't entertained by this particular band, that doesn't give me the right to snarkily critique them. No, if other people took pleasure in their set, then that means it simply wasn't for me. And that's okay. The same seems to be true in a broader sense as well. My favorite movies, books, and songs are not objectively good or bad.

[00:02:13] And yet, you may not get the same value from them as I do, and that's okay. If you don't enjoy them, then they probably aren't for you. They're for someone else. So don't waste your time. Let go. Move on. But, while you walk away, you needn't deprive the rest of the crowd by casting shade on the maker of the thing. Ditto for whatever the minimalists create. Our documentary, our TEDx talks, our podcasts, our books, this blog. As long as Ryan and I can look ourselves in the mirror and honestly say, quote,

[00:02:41] We believe this is exceptional. This piece is absolutely the best we could have done given the resources we have, unquote. Then we will give ourselves permission to release our creation to the world, warts and all. Millions of people have found value in our body of work, but if you don't, that's okay. It isn't for everybody. The more you create, the more you will be criticized. And that too is okay. Because some criticism is helpful, especially when it is solicited from people you trust. Evaluators who help build your building taller, stronger, better.

[00:03:11] This type of criticism is rare, and that's what makes it precious. Other criticism, however, is a greater reflection of the critic himself. The trolling, the indignation, the tearing down of buildings. These are all neon signs that say, this isn't for me. So next time I get ready to feebly condemn someone's work, perhaps I should ask myself, is this objectively bad, or is this just not for me? If it's the former, then I must ask, how can my critique be useful?

[00:03:39] Because if my feedback is only veiled venting, then I've done nothing but contribute to the recreational outrage I so despise. If it's the latter, then perhaps I'm best served by keeping my mouth shut and looking for something that is, in fact, for me. And next time someone criticizes you, consider this. Your creation probably isn't for that critic, it's for someone else. Suddenly, a spotlight illuminates the stage, the main act manns their instruments, and I'm back in the moment, buoyed by the increasing roar of the crowd.

[00:04:09] The music starts, and it's truly outstanding. We're all singing along off-key to every chorus and begging for an encore when the lights go dark. This definitely was for me. The opening act wasn't, though, and that's okay. Sometimes we have to wade through the waters of dislike before we arrive at something we love. You just listened to the post titled, This Probably Isn't For You, by Joshua Fields Milburn of TheMinimalist.com,

[00:04:38] and I'll be right back with my commentary. I'm constantly thinking about how to optimize my health, what supplements to take, hours of sleep, what my diet should focus on. Superpower finally takes the guessing out of it. One simple lab test covers over 100 biomarkers, and their app gives you a complete picture of your heart, liver, hormones, metabolism, even environmental toxins. Plus, it used to cost $499. Right now, it's just $199.

[00:05:07] And head to superpower.com and use code OLD at checkout for an additional $20 off your membership. Thank you to Joshua, a good one to think about. I think most of us default to treating our own preferences as facts. That's where many political arguments come from. Something disappoints us, and we wanna call it bad instead of just, not my thing. And that's probably a pretty natural reaction.

[00:05:34] But the shift he's describing, I think is really useful because it takes the judgment out of it. As someone who puts out content every single day, I can definitely relate to both sides of this. Getting a critical review can sting pretty bad, and the instinct is to either dismiss the person or take it really personally. But if you can get to a place where you think, okay, this probably just isn't for them, and actually mean it, not just as a defense mechanism,

[00:06:04] that could be helpful. The question he ends with is a good one. Is this objectively bad, or is it just not for me? Because those can look really similar from the outside, but they're very different. One might actually be worth saying something about, the other probably isn't. So next time something rubs you the wrong way, could be a movie, a song, someone's work, maybe just stop and ask that question first. So thank you to Joshua for these words,

[00:06:33] even if they weren't for you. And thank you for being here. I'm really happy that this podcast is for you. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.