4004: The Freedom of Authenticity (and 7 of My Biggest Flaws) by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_04] Study and Play! Come together on a Windows 11 PC! And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds! Get the Unreal College Deal. Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox Wireless Controller. Learn more at windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms slash college pc.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00] Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep-end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash brightsummerahead to learn more. See you this summer.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_03] This is Optimal Living Daily. The Freedom of Authenticity and 7 of My Biggest Flaws by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com And I'm Justin Malik. We're going to get right to it as we optimize your life. The Freedom of Authenticity and 7 of My Biggest Flaws by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com Quote,

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_03] Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you. Andrew Murray Nine months ago, Leo Babauta wrote a blog post titled, I Failed. Immediately upon reading it, I wished I had written it. It was good and true and honest, but more importantly, it was freeing for both the reader and writer. More recently, I've been moved by the words of Brian Gardner and his continued pleas for authenticity.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_03] I read his thoughts on living unfiltered, and again, streams of freedom flow in his writing. Sarah Peck also has a similar influence on me. There is great freedom in authenticity. One evening last month, while sitting at my dining room table, I suffered a dark moment of depravity. I received good news from a friend on the telephone. He's a good person, someone I admire and look up to. Understandably, he began telling me some of the wonderful things that had happened in his career.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_03] In a moment where I should have been rejoicing alongside him, I felt jealousy instead. I knew it was wrong for me to react this way, but it was the first emotion that surfaced. And no matter how many times I congratulated him, the bitter feeling of envy would not depart. A few days later, unable to shake my jealousy, I called a friend and poured out my heart. I expressed my frustration with my weakness and asked for help. She responded, You just accomplished the most important step. Admitting this out loud to a trusted friend.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_03] Confess your weakness. The sooner you call it what it is, the sooner you're able to move on from it. Again, I was reminded there is great freedom in admitting our weaknesses. It removes the artificial walls we have built around us. It provides the pathway to begin addressing our faults. It opens the door for accountability from others. It embraces a life of honesty with others and with ourselves. It offers opportunity to connect with others as they see themselves in our weaknesses.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_03] It allows others to love us for who we truly are. And it reminds us we are not alone in our faults. To be human is to be weak. And yet, as much freedom as there is to be found in authenticity, it is still difficult. Admitting weakness still feels a lot like admitting weakness. But when there are so many advantages to be found in it, perhaps the greatest step is to admit our fear and humbly become transparent anyway. Allow me to start.

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_03] I am flawed. Even more difficult to admit, I struggle with the same flaws over and over again. I know them intimately well and sometimes feel powerless to overcome them. Seven of my greatest flaws. Number one, jealousy. I have struggled with jealousy as long as I can remember. Typically, I blame it on a twin brother who is five inches taller with much broader shoulders. But my jealousy and envy run deeper than mere sibling rivalry.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_03] I find myself jealous of the skill and success of other writers. And I'm jealous of those who are younger but have accomplished more. Sometimes I find motivation in this envy. But most of the time, it is only crippling and burdensome. Number two, desire for approval. I seek praise and approval from others to an unhealthy and damaging degree. This desire keeps my heart and mind focused on myself too much. Often, it inhibits my ability to even be myself.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_03] I sometimes write and say things just because I know people want to hear them. And far too often, I withhold strongly held opinions because I know they are unpopular or fear they will not be accepted. There is no freedom when the desire for approval exceeds the desire to be yourself. Number three, lack of self-discipline. I am less self-disciplined than most. I write often about the importance of rising early, turning off distractions, and focused devotion to meditation.

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_03] I've experienced beauty and joy in each. And yet, I sleep in far too many mornings each week and have played far more Candy Crush on my iPhone than I'd even care to admit. I waste countless hours each week when I should be working or devoted to more important pursuits, like meditation, reading, or exercise. I desperately envy those who do not need a deadline to complete a project. Number four, selfishness. I love generosity. It is important and valuable.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_03] It is wonderful to write about, but difficult to practice. Even when it was difficult, I donated 10% of my income to charity, sometimes even more. I am thankful for the financial and the life lessons I have learned from the discipline. But nowadays, money is not tight. I have more liquid assets today than at any point before, and my expenses are the lowest they have been in 10 years. And yet, during a stage of life when excessive generosity should be easier than ever, I find myself holding on to more than ever.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_03] My selfishness is being revealed during a time of plenty. Number five, guilt over physical possessions. I own more things than I need. I own less than most, but still more than I need. There are books under my bed and tools in my garage that will never be used. There are CDs and DVDs and couches. Yes, couches. We intend to sell, but haven't yet. Some of the closets in my home are embarrassingly full.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_03] I believe strongly in the benefits of owning and buying less, and I've written often that my practice of minimalism is much less extreme than most. But still, I continue to have this nagging feeling that I am less qualified to write about this topic. Number six, lack of empathy. I am less compassionate than I should be. It's not that I don't care about the emotional needs of the people around me, is that I don't even think to notice them. As I dig deeper into this fault, I continue to run into my desire for approval from others.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_03] I go through my days so focused on being noticed and validated by others, I don't even shift my focus long enough to notice the pain of others. Number seven, protecting my image. I suffer through a constant need to protect my image. I rarely express weakness to even my closest friends as I work desperately hard to protect their thoughts about me. I rarely ask for help. To do so would be to admit my need for it. Indeed, my pride runs very deep and expresses itself in numerous ways.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_03] Perhaps its greatest expression is my desire to pretend that it is well-placed. Ah, there's a great freedom in authenticity. I am thankful for those who have gone before and modeled it for me. In a world where our public image can be meticulously crafted through Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and personal blogs, we must work hard to embrace our authenticity and overcome the fear associated with exposing our faults. I hope you will join me in doing just that.

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_03] You just listened to the post titled, The Freedom of Authenticity and Seven of My Biggest Flaws by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com and I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_01] It's time to refresh your yard during Spring Backyard Days at The Home Depot. Get low prices guaranteed on propane grills starting at $179 like the Next Grill 3-Burner Gas Grill or get $50 off a select Weber Spirit Grill and bring big flavor to your backyard. Then set the scene with Hampton Bay String Lights that bring it all together. Shop Spring Backyard Days for 7 days at The Home Depot now through May 6th. Exclusions apply to homedebar.com slash price match for details.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_02] Focus Features in Blumhouse present Obsession.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00] When I have a crush on a guy, no one knows.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_02] Be careful.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_03] I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_02] Who you wish for. Obsession is 96% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_04] I love you so, so, so, so much.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_02] It's blood-soaked nightmare fuel.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_03] What kind of blood you put on her?

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_02] You have been warned. Obsession. Rated R. Under 17. I made it without parent. Only theaters May 15th. With special engagements in Dolby.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_03] Thank you to Joshua. There's a good point in there about admitting weakness out loud to a trusted friend. That being the first and most important step. I think it really does feel that way. There's something about saying it out loud versus just knowing it in your own head that makes it more real and then somehow more manageable. Like it's taking the power away from it. I can relate to several of the flaws he listed. The desire for approval especially. I think that's a really common one.

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_03] And particularly hard to deal with when you're doing something publicly. It's easy to start creating for other people's reactions instead of just for yourself. And the image protection thing too. I think most of us do that to some degree. Maybe without even realizing it. He ends with a challenge. Share one or two of your greatest weaknesses. And even if you don't do it publicly I think it's worth trying. You just write it down and name what it is. Because like his friend said

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_03] calling it what it is might be the most important step. So what's one flaw you'd be willing to admit even just to yourself? Good stuff to think about. So thank you to Joshua for this one. Thank you for being here. That's the greatest gift you could give me. Just being here and listening along with me. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits. I'll see you tomorrow.

[00:10:43] I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you.