4043: How to Make a Damn Decision AND 3 Reasons to Seek Other POVs by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

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[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_04] It's a Minimalist Monday edition of Optimal Living Daily. How to make a d*** decision. And three reasons to seek other POVs, both by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus of TheMinimalists.com. And I'm Justin Malik, the guy reading to you every day of the year. Two posts today, both from The Minimalists. So let's get right to it as we optimize your life. How to make a d*** decision by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus of TheMinimalists.com.

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_04] Day one, the first step in any journey is often the most difficult. This was true for our journey into minimalism. Our first step had nothing to do with the task we had to complete. Our first step was deciding. Or rather, deciding we wanted to make a significant change in our lives.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_04] Change is difficult. And procrastination is easy, at least for the moment. But there is no reward in procrastination. The most difficult part of creating a lasting change is deciding to make that change a reality. Deciding to take action. Two kinds of decisions. Fundamentally, there are two kinds of decisions. Intellectual and emotional. Intellectually, we knew we wanted a change in our lives.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_04] We knew we were unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled. We knew we didn't have freedom, not real freedom. The problem was, we knew these things intellectually, but not emotionally. We didn't have the feeling in our guts that things must change. We knew they should change, but that change wasn't a must. Should versus must.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_04] It's like anything else you tell yourself. I should change. I should stop wasting my money. I should work fewer hours. I should get rid of all this junk. I should eat healthier food. I should exercise. I should write more. I should read more. I should watch less TV. I should, I should, I should. After a while, you end up shooting all over yourself, which is an apt analogy because you really do feel like sh** after you put everything off for so long.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_04] After you procrastinated over and over and over. Once you understand the necessity for change on an emotional level, you're able to turn your sh**s into musts. To accomplish this, we must begin to associate enough pain with our current circumstances and then equate immense pleasure with our new outcome. A mixture of enough pain combined with enough pleasure, this is how we change our sh**s into musts.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_04] This is the pivotal point. This is when you get leverage. This is when you are compelled to take action. This is how you make a d**n decision. A decision is not a real decision until it is a must. It is not a real decision until you feel it on your nerve endings. Once your sh**s have turned into musts, only then you have made a real decision. I must change. I must stop wasting my money. I must work fewer hours. I must get rid of all this junk.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_04] I must eat healthier food. I must exercise. I must write more. I must read more. I must watch less TV. I must, I must, I must. Your only exercise today is simple. Make your must list. What are your musts? What must change? What has brought pain into your life? What will bring great pleasure? Take as much time as you need and write down all your musts. I must, I must, I must.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_04] Say your musts aloud. Do you feel how much more powerful the musts feel compared to your shoulds? The should list is weak, passive, lethargic. The must list is strong, vigorous, energetic. The musts are alive. You must take action. Of course, this first day isn't even about taking action. We'll take action every day after today. And yet day one is the most difficult. Today is the day you must decide things must change.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_04] You know, at least intellectually, you are not happy with how things are in your life. But you can't have it both ways. You can't want it to be one way when your actions are the other way. If your actions are not congruent with your desires, then you will never feel happy, never feel fulfilled, never feel content. Take a look at your must list. Put that list somewhere you will see frequently. Now stop everything you are doing and make a decision. Make the decision to change your life, to live the life you want to live.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_04] Don't just think about the change intellectually, feel it in your gut. By the way, you can read our must list when you get to day two. Today is the best day of your life because today is the day everything changes. Today is the day your shoulds turn into musts. Today is the day you decide to take action. Today is the first day of the rest of your new, simplified life.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_04] Three reasons to seek other POVs by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus of theminimalist.com We all do what we do for a reason. If you're reading a book, browsing a blog, or watching the evening news, you're in quest of other points of view. This journey, this discovery of new worldviews, is paramount for personal growth. There are at least three reasons why people seek out other POVs, some more steroidic in terms of personal growth than others.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_04] Number one, validation. Most of the time, people simply want to validate their own opinions. And so we read reviews of a movie we just watched to see if other people felt the same as we did. This type of validation is okay to a point. Too much validation stifles creativity. It kills individual growth. That's because if we're constantly chasing validation, if we need our views to always match with someone else's, then we'll accomplish scant original thought, for we get stuck in a state of perpetual crowdthink.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_04] What would so-and-so think about this? Instead of forming our own standpoints based on celebration, logic, and reasoning. Ultimately, the habitual hunt for validation leaves little room for rumination, and thus, little or no room for growth. Number two, answers. Other times, people search for alternate viewpoints when they themselves can't form an answer. We've all been on the fence before, and sometimes a trusted outlook is all we need to tip us toward the right side. Like validation, however,

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_04] endeavoring for answers via others leaves us holding the bag for other folks' decisions. It's easy to give advice, but taking our own advice is often the hardest pill to swallow. Number three, alteration. Every once in a while, some people will examine a contrary attitude or sentiment not to validate their own opinion, and not even to find an answer, but rather to change their own mind. This is where real growth happens, when we're willing to step away from dogma, to step back from our own opinions,

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_04] and examine the world through a different pair of eyes. Sam Harris, Stephen Fry, and our friend Cal Newport all do a phenomenal job of providing slants that force people to ponder one's canon, and often, change their mind. Soliciting other perspectives is not only important, it's a necessary part of living a fulfilled, well-rounded life. But we needn't rely solely on others' beliefs to shape our existence, we must think on our own too. We must rely on ourselves first,

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_04] and use other POVs to augment our own positions. And sometimes, when we don't have a good answer, we must simply follow our hearts. You just listened to the posts titled, How to Make a D*** Decision, and Three Reasons to Seek Other POVs, both by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus of TheMinimalists.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_04] Thank you to Joshua and Ryan. Hard to argue with the should versus must point. Saying that we should do something isn't really a decision. It just sounds like procrastination out loud. And the second article kind of layers on top of that. Because sometimes what gets us to take action and turn that should into a must is exposure to another perspective that really challenges what we think. It's not validation like they mentioned

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_04] as one of the reasons we turn to another point of view. But it's what they called alteration. Actually being open to changing our minds. So it's something we could try today. Making that must list that they talked about and then staying open to outside perspectives which might help with that list. Good stuff to think about today. So thank you to Joshua and Ryan of The Minimalists. Thank you for being here every day and optimizing your life along with me. Means a lot. Have a great rest of your day

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_04] and I'll see you tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits. So let's see you tomorrow as usual. Let's see you tomorrow.

[00:10:42] Let's see you tomorrow. Thank you.