4105: A Tough-Love Junkie's Guide to Self Care: 3 Steps For Self-Compassion by Kat Medina on Emotional Resilience

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[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02] This is Optimal Living Daily, a tough love junkie's guide to self-care. Three steps for self-compassion. By Kat Medina of KatMedina.com. And I'm Justin Malik. Welcome back to our Sunday bonus episode. This is where I share a little extra content from a different podcast in our network, usually overlapping a bit with what we talk about here. And this episode is coming from Optimal Relationships Daily.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_02] So without further ado, here's Greg with the bonus post as we optimize your life.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01] A Tough Love Junkie's Guide to Self-Care. Three Steps for Self-Compassion. By Kat Medina of KatMedina.com. Usually January is my month of momentum when I take life by the horns and make progress on all of the goals that I set during December. This time, it went down a little differently than usual. The first week of January, I felt stuck and unmotivated. For someone who typically earns self-worth through achievement, it was a bit of a shocker.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_01] And not in a good way. The more I tried to snap myself out of my funk, the further into it I fell. I was down for weeks, and it was like some external force turned off the faucet of creativity and drive that typically fueled my days. Although I tend to be compassionate towards others when they are in this state, being patient and empathetic towards myself is difficult. I've always taken a tough love, get yourself together approach to pull myself out of the occasional lows. Granted, this has rarely worked.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_01] But old habits die hard, am I right? Within the first week, I knew I needed to take a break from writing and platform building so that I could attempt to recharge. I unknowingly burnt myself out, and I knew that if I forced the creative process, the end result would involve launching a literary butt shuttle right into the toilet. So, I attempted this crazy concept of self-compassion. There's an endless amount of advice on the internet for ways to practice self-care and compassion.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01] Yes, I googled it. But most seem to involve wearing a cleansing face mask while watching real housewives and being spoon-fed some rocky road. First off, I'm tired of having masks on my face. I find the housewives annoying, and I don't believe nuts should ever be mixed with ice cream. My go-to's typically involve traveling, spending time with friends, doing some super strenuous exercise, or being in nature.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_01] Because of pandemic restrictions and pregnancy precautions, the top three on my list were no-goes. And being in nature only took me so far. I had to come up with some new tools for the toolkit. Here are some of the surprisingly helpful state changers that eventually got me back on track. 1. Create Space Take a look at all the stuff that is consuming your endless to-do list, and procrastinate or remove anything that isn't both urgent and important.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_01] What tasks might be nice to do, but aren't necessary? Get rid of that. What tasks can you put off for a week or two? Reschedule those. All that should be left on your list are things that you must do or you risk getting fired. Now, here's the kicker. Do not fill your newfound extra time with anything unless it excites you and makes you happy. Don't make plans, and instead just be spontaneous for a week and do whatever you feel like doing.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_01] This creates space for you to acknowledge life's wonder and live according to your current needs. 2. Connect with Close Friends The times I feel like climbing into a dark cave and committing to life as a tangly-haired hermit are the times I need human interaction the most. It seems counterintuitive, but I've learned that the more I dread meeting up with friends or chatting with loved ones, those are the times I need it most.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_01] The key here is not to use this time to vent and wallow in self-pity. Instead, focus on asking questions and finding out what's going on in your friend's life. What are they excited about? What's been troubling them? Be an active listener and engage in what they have to say. It's a magical tool that gets you to stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on the shared human connection you have with this person you care about. 3. Do Something Outside of Your Comfort Zone

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_01] This might seem to contradict the whole create space and don't do things that you don't want to do step, but hear me out. When all you feel like doing is creating a blanket fort in your bed and retiring basic hygiene once and for all, you must do something to create momentum. Maybe it's as simple as going on a hike or cleaning the house. Or maybe it involves knocking out a looming task or signing up for an online class to learn something that you're curious about.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_01] I usually do this step after a couple of days of creating space, when my mini-break from reality is coming to a close. It subconsciously proves that you can do something, even when you don't feel like it. Little baby steps like this have a snowball effect and kick-start forward momentum based on pride of accomplishing something you didn't want to do. When you're in deep and it feels like you'll never get back to normal, the most important thing you can do is trust.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_01] Trust that this too shall pass and that every part of life is transitory. This dark winter of emotion will be followed by spring and all will be well again. These lows help you to appreciate the highs and are opportunities to practice finding the good even when it seems to be hidden. You may have to search a little harder, but as long as you don't give up, you'll find it.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_01] You just listened to the post titled, A Tough Love Junkie's Guide to Self-Care, Three Steps for Self-Compassion by Kat Medina of Kat Medina.com.

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[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_01] And a wonderful post from Kat here today. We haven't heard from her in a while, and her return doesn't come a moment too soon, as I think she spoke to something highly important today. Something we're all very susceptible to. You know, productivity is clearly consuming many of us, especially those who tend to tune into OLD-like shows and are really excited about just achieving more and being at their best.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_01] These are not bad qualities by any means, but in order to avoid lulls like Kat had fallen into, they must be done in moderation, like anything else. Don't be afraid to dial back on your goals. If you've been working at them every day, and you're maybe feeling a combination of pride and ensuing burnout, deliberately miss them for a day. Just to prove to yourself that you can start over and still make progress, even if the journey wasn't as perfect as you wanted it to be.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01] You know, many of us are getting to the point where success is becoming an addiction. It makes perfect sense given all the focus on it and how many ways people claim you can attain it. But no addiction is good. So, if this sounds like you, you have my permission to lower your standards. But don't you dare miss out on our next episode. Yes, this one is over, but we will be back tomorrow, folks, as always. And it's my hope that if you take time off from your good habits, it won't be skipping out on any ORD. But let's be honest, I'll never know.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_01] So take care, everybody. Thanks for coming today. And I hope to see you back here tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.