4114: [Part 1] Three Typical Mistakes in Thinking About the Future by David Cain of Raptitude on Overcoming Overthinking

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[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00] When I was six years old, I was crossing the little bridge on Center Street when I realized I was doomed.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know why it only occurred to me then, but once it did, I couldn't deny it. I was in grade one and I liked my current teacher, but I was afraid of the grade three teacher. Let's call her Mrs. X. I'd heard stories about how mean she was from older kids and I'd seen her barking in her shrill voice at the students who were unfortunate enough to be in her class. Because I was in grade one, it never seemed like it was my problem until it occurred to me that I had no means to prevent myself from aging naturally and eventually becoming a grade three student.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00] She was the only grade three teacher in my small town school and I would eventually end up in her class. Fate was marching me right into certain misery. I scoured my mind for possible ways out of this. Dropping out didn't seem to be an option. I didn't feel self-sufficient enough to run away. No matter how I used my time, the next two years of my life would be spent being funneled towards something I could not accept. I was so depressed. All this sudden despair was my doing, but I didn't know it.

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00] I doomed myself with three common errors in thinking. Number one, letting your thinking snowball. One of the most liberating discoveries I ever had was that thinking has an insidious snowball effect. Thoughts trigger other thoughts, and if your initial thought carries even a hint of insecurity or worry, subsequent thoughts can explore it and magnify it until you're profoundly agitated. You can end up pulling your hair out and dreading the rest of your life just from idle thinking.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00] Negative trains of thought have an uncanny tendency to grow in scope and intensity as they go on. The thoughts become less and less realistic, but the swirling emotions that come with them keep rationality from gaining a foothold. Thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure I only had one actual encounter with Mrs. X. One day as I walked by her class, through the window I saw her scowling at her class before turning to scrawl something on the blackboard with enough fury to chip off the end of the chalk.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_00] I also remember some kids, in hindsight maybe it was only one, telling me, Oh, Mrs. X is so mean. Those two brief moments probably compromised all of the evidence I had as to what my grade 3 experience might be like, yet in my mind, I was already suffering a daily regimen of hair-triggered tongue lashings and after-school detentions. When I left the house that morning, I was trotting happily to the corner store. Each step was bringing me closer to gummy worms and bazooka Joe.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00] But by the time I crossed the bridge, each step was bringing me closer to a miserable 10-month sentence in class. And so it would be for every step I took, no matter the direction, for the next year and a half, ever marching to the gallows. Number two, assuming you can reasonably predict the future. My logic seemed impeccable to me. I would eventually be in grade 3, no question. There was only one grade 3 teacher. She was known to be mean, and I would dread class every one of the school year's 200 days.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00] There were no other possibilities. In reality, there were so many variables I couldn't possibly see. Fear so often seems to give one's future a dreadful clarity it would never have otherwise, as if we know what's going to happen just because we fear it. That's one good reason to take your fears with a huge grain of salt. If the dismal scenario in your head was actually going to come true, it would mean you can predict the future. And if you can, you should buy a Powerball ticket instead of worrying so much. As a 6-year-old, I couldn't know who I would be by age 8.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00] Experiences change us as days and years pass. Our worries change. Our hopes change. The thought that consumes you today might not cross your mind at all tomorrow. The kid walking across the bridge would never make it to grade 3. He would be someone else by then, and a cranky teacher might be no big deal to him. I also could have been completely wrong about her. My family moved to the city before grade 2 started. I never had Mrs. X.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00] The third mistake I made, though, was the one that guaranteed those feelings of dread and powerlessness, and it's very common. Number three, attempting to contend with the future. Trying to solve future problems, or even come to terms with them, is a recipe for disaster. The future often appears in our minds as a host of real problems which require immediate attention. We're powerless against the future because our influence can never extend beyond the present moment.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_00] We can wish, hope, rehearse excuses and confrontations, resolve to do X or Y, but no matter what thoughts you have about the problem, it can only loom unsolved until it actually happens. Though it often feels like you absolutely have to, you can't ever deal with the future because it doesn't exist except as a thought in the present moment. In fact, present moment is a redundant term, but our human way of thinking about time is skewed so stubbornly we can't really drop it yet. Of course it's the present one.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00] There aren't any others. There really is no future. That's not just a cheeky way of thinking about it. It's the acknowledgement of a real error in the way we tend to conceptualize time. We can only deal with one moment at a time. That should suit us fine because that's the rate at which life deals them out. Yet our thoughts make it seem like the future is already there just ahead of us in line, taunting us while we can do nothing about it. None of your talents and advantages, including your body and all your skills,

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00] can be brought to bear anywhere but on the scene that's unfolding in front of your face. And that's the only place you're going to need them. To be continued. You just listened to part one of the post titled Three Typical Mistakes in Thinking About the Future by David Cain of raptitude.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Every time I go in for a physical, they run a dozen markers, and I walk out with the same sentence,

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[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_00] Limited time deals and free shipping on PCs and more await you at dell.com slash deals. That's dell.com slash deals. Thank you to David. Interesting take. It definitely reminds me of meditation, especially point number one, because I'm sure we've all experienced that phenomenon where we let one bad idea snowball into another and into another and so on until you convince yourself that the worst will happen,

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00] when in reality it probably hasn't even started to happen at all. Meditation trains us to think about that and catch ourselves before it snowballs. That's why I love meditation. But we do obviously have to think about the future and plan for our future too, so it's an interesting take. Let's see where he goes with this tomorrow. So thank you for being here and listening every day, including the weekends, and I will be back tomorrow to finish up this post where your optimal life awaits. Let's see where he goes with this.