4126: [Part 2] 7 Things I Learned About Life That I Learned From Surfing by Elana Miller of Zen Psychiatry on Inner Peace

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[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_01] This is Optimal Living Daily. Seven Things I Learned About Life That I Learned From Surfing, Part 2 by Ilana Miller of Zen Psychiatry. And I'm Justin Malik. Welcome to OLD, Optimal Living Daily, where I read articles to you with permission from the authors. But today's a continuation from yesterday. I'd recommend listening to yesterday's episode first. But if you're all caught up, let's get right to part two and continue optimizing your life.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01] Seven Things I Learned About Life That I Learned From Surfing, Part 2 by Elana Miller of ZenPsychiatry.com. Number four, let failure humble you. Last year, there was a huge swell in town, bigger than anything Southern California had seen in a while. Everyone was talking about it. Of course, I had to see what the fuss was about for myself.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_01] So, I get out there and the waves are huge. I'd never seen anything like it. I'd certainly never surfed anything like it. But I swam out there anyway, figuring I'd give it a shot. Because the waves were so aggressive, it took me forever just to push past them and paddle out. I was exhausted. I saw a wave roll up and paddled hard to catch, but I was too tired and it passed right by me.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_01] Then the trouble started. I was caught inside, which means I was inside the point where the waves break and they were coming so strong and so fast that I couldn't get out past them. I got smashed by wave after wave. Then one hit me with such force that it ripped my leash right off my ankle and my board immediately went flying hundreds of yards away. With no buoyant surfboard to pull me up, the waves started holding me underwater. I started counting the seconds to avoid panicking.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_01] One one thousand, two one thousand. Just when I'd catch a gasp of air, another wave would push me down again. It was the first time I ever had thought, wow, this could kill me. Don't drown. Please don't drown. Eventually, the beating stopped and I came up gasping for air. Another surfer saw that my board had been carried away and paddled over to hold onto it until I could swim over and strap my leash back out. I realized I should never have been out there in the first place.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01] I didn't have the strength or skill for waves that size. Wave one, Alana zero. Lesson learned. I haven't made that mistake again. Sure, you can push your limits, but make sure you know them in the first place. Number five, you can tell a professional not by his talent, but by his attitude. The same is true of an amateur. Everyone starts somewhere. You should remember this if you're a beginner,

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_01] and you should remember this if you're experienced. Territoriality is for amateurs. Arrogance is for amateurs. Grandiosity is for amateurs. I don't mean amateur in the professional sports sense. I mean in the Steven Pressfield turning pro sense. You can be the best surfer out there and still be an amateur. You can have a professional contract and still be an amateur. I once saw a guy surfing who was pretty good, but was a total asshole.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_01] He had a longboard, which means he can catch waves earlier than other people can, and was stealing all the waves without respecting the lineup. He was yelling at anyone who he thought was getting in his way. He was grabbing people's leashes to pull them out of the waves so he could cut in. You know what? That guy had some skills, but in five years, he's still going to be putting around, stealing waves, and pulling leashes. He's never going to get any better than he is now. The best surfers don't pull those antics.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01] If you're not respecting the etiquette or you're doing something dangerous, they'll sure let you know, but they remember that they were once beginners too. They know they still have a lot to learn. That's why they keep getting better. So in whatever you're trying to do, be a pro. Show up. Do your work. Help others who don't know as much as you. Be helped by people who know more. If you find yourself getting arrogant, check it.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_01] Number six, most people are rooting for you, not trying to compete with you. Yes, every once in a while you come across a surfer with a stick up his ass, but more often than not, I'm blown away by the generosity of the surfing community. I've paddled out to the ocean alone and swam back with new friends. I've had total strangers take me under their wing and show me the ropes for the few hours we found ourselves in the same spot of the ocean for no other reason than they had the

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_01] expertise and saw I could use it. Those of us who love this sport, we root for each other. We congratulate each other for good rides. We take turns. We see a good wave coming and say, you go right, I'll go left. We share. We want each other to succeed. Too many people operate under the delusion of competition when the most helpful stance is collaboration. Don't make the mistake of getting competitive when other people just want to help you.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_01] Don't be the jerk who's pushing others out of the way when those people would freely give it to you. As my friend Scott Dinsmore points out, most people out there want to help you, even those at the top. Make it easier for them to do so by being genuine and by showing that you care about what you're doing. And number seven, there's no point fighting forces of nature. The ocean doesn't care about you.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_01] It is a force of nature that existed long before you were born and they'll be around long after your bones turned to dust. It doesn't care if you have a good day surfing or a bad day. It doesn't care if it scares you. It doesn't care if it kills you. It would have been stupid of me to get mad at that wave that held me underwater, right? But think about it. We do that same thing all the time. We fight forces of life that are as unavoidable as the strength and immensity of the ocean.

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_01] We fight that we have pain, get sick, get old, and die. We fight that relationships end. We fight to string happy moment after happy moment as if we could prevent anything bad from happening in between. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's a waste of time and a waste of energy. We operate under the illusion of control when so many of the most important things in life aren't even close to the realm of our control.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_01] But this doesn't have to be a terrifying concept. When you release yourself from the illusion of control, you can relax. You can put in your best effort, but let things turn out how they'll turn out. You can find moments of joy in the most simple things. So don't fight forces of nature. Ride them. You just listened to part two of the post titled

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_01] Seven Things I Learned About Life That I Learned From Surfing by Ilana Miller of Zen Psychiatry. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Payments, point of sale, online orders, inventory, staff, all in one place so you can focus on your customers instead of your to-do list. One thing about my favorite gelato place, besides the flavors,

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[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_01] Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash old. That's s-q-u-a-r-e dot com slash go slash o-l-d. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do. Back to school starts now. Get long-lasting battery life on the Dell XPS laptop powered by Series 3 Intel Core, so you can work from anywhere.

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_01] Now starting at $699 with exclusive student pricing starting at $599. Complete your setup with savings on select monitors and must-have electronics and accessories. Limited time deals and free shipping on PCs and more await you at dell.com slash deals. That's dell.com slash deals. Thank you again to Alana. Something I wanted to mention yesterday,

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_01] but at the same time didn't want to spoil the ending, was this idea of actually riding or not riding the wave. They're very unpredictable and can be quite harsh, or they can be smaller. And that's the way life goes, up and down all the time, where the only thing that really is guaranteed is constant change. And that can be a scary thing, just like waves. But our goal is not simply to avoid every wave, but to get better at surfing.

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_01] If you're a very long-time listener, this message and analogy might sound familiar. In a special episode, my friend of, I don't know, like 30 years, who's now a professor at Appalachian State University, wrote an article for this podcast that I narrated way back in episode 1099. And it's called On Suffering and Surfing, where he compared the suffering we all face to surfing a wave. It covers a lot from his dad having cancer to the Holocaust.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_01] It's a good one. So if you want more like today's episode, but a different variety, you can check that out. Again, that's episode 1099. But for now, that'll do it for another edition of OLD. Thanks for being here and listening every day. And I'll see you tomorrow, as usual, where your optimal life awaits.