4128: The Greatest Skill You Can Learn to Live a Better Life by Steve Kamb of NerdFitness on Personal Responsibility

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[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_01] This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fruit Snacks. Back to school season can be tough on parents, but choosing a snack you and your kids can both get behind doesn't have to be. Stock up on Welch's Fruit Snacks made with whole fruit and now made with no artificial dyes. It's a snack kids already love and one you can feel good about giving them. Go back to school with Welch's Fruit Snacks now made with no artificial dyes.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. The greatest skill you can learn to live a better life by Steve Kamb of NerdFitness.com and I'm Justin Malik. I read articles and give some commentary to go along with it to give us both a little reminder about what's important every day of the year. So with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_00] The greatest skill you can learn to live a better life by Steve Kamb of NerdFitness.com. Today, I'm going to teach you the greatest skill you can possess as a human being. You are human, right? It'll make you more successful, improve your life in every aspect, help you lose weight, open the doors to whatever you want. However, it can also be incredibly painful and will teach you a lesson that most don't want to learn.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00] It might make you angry and might take some time before you accept it, but you'll be a better person because of it. This is the skill that all other changes and improvements stem from. Personal responsibility. What most people do. When something goes wrong, most people's first instinct is to blame their bad luck, pass the blame on to others, or simply lament about their particular situation.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_00] If they're overweight and unhealthy, they blame the fast food industry, the soda industry, the restaurant industry, their lack of time, or their genetics or parents. If they're late to work, they blame the cars in front of them for not going faster or waiting too long at stop signs. If they're in a job they hate that doesn't pay them enough, they blame the economy or their boss for keeping them down.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00] If they get turned down for a date or dumped, they blame the other person for being an idiot and not recognizing the amazing person in front of them. It's much easier to pass the blame and responsibility onto somebody else so there's no guilt necessary when no action is taken. Accepting personal responsibility, on the other hand, can be far more painful. It requires us to stop looking outward and stop relinquishing responsibility for improvement, which isn't easy.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00] Once we stop blaming outside forces for our misfortunes or predicaments, there's only one place to look. The mirror. Let me explain why the mirror is the absolute best place to look if you want to live a leveled up life. Why personal responsibility rules. Notice I said responsibility and not fault. Where you are right now in your life is a combination of decisions you've made, steps you've taken, and events that have occurred outside of your control.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00] Although everything might not be your fault, shit happens. It's time to look at everything as if it were your personal responsibility to fix. Some people get to play this game of life on easy and others get stuck playing on legendary difficulty. It's not fair, but that's life. Here's why personal responsibility is so great. Once you start accepting responsibility for your situation, you'll realize that you don't have to wait for anybody's permission to make changes. Nothing to wait for. Nobody to ask.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00] You can just start. Immediately. Like right now. And then, doors start to open. Because you are the reason that you are where you are, you also get to be the reason that you move forward. This is why I love Adam Carolla. Horribly inappropriate at times, but also a huge champion for personal responsibility. Even if you disagree with his political beliefs on this issue, he's a guy to be listened to. Quote,

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00] So once you accept the fact that everything is your responsibility to fix or improve, even if it's not your own fault, there's a tremendous opportunity for growth. When we can stop lamenting other people's good luck and our bad luck, we begin to realize that luck has nothing to do with it. There's a great article by my friend Gary Arndt that spells it out perfectly called, Why I'm Not a Lucky B****r.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00] This is what separates successful people, read Nerd Fitness Rebels, from those who are content to sit back and complain about their bad luck. They accept responsibility for being overweight and out of shape and identify ways to start making changes to their daily habits that start to turn things around. They accept responsibility for their part of a failed relationship or less than stellar interactions with meeting new people, and they identify ways to improve their social skills, work harder to make a better first impression,

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00] and take the time to analyze the type of person they really want to be with. They accept responsibility for being in a job they hate in which they don't get paid enough, and they identify new skills they can learn or online courses they can take to make themselves more valuable. They're okay with having that uncomfortable but necessary, I deserve a raise and here's why talk with their boss. My struggles. Now just because I spend my time helping others live leveled up lives, doesn't mean that I don't struggle with this stuff too.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00] I've made it a personal project to address a number of the things about myself that I felt needed fixing, both physically and mentally, since moving here to Nashville. I'm in the process of trying to level myself up in one particular way that has already helped tremendously. My tardiness. I noticed that I had an issue with getting upset whenever I was late for something. I would angrily yell at people in the cars in front of me for going too slow. I'd get mad at the light for not changing to green faster.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_00] I'd get mad at the elevator for not arriving faster. Instead, I've had to internalize this as a learning experience. I'm getting angry because I'm late, not because other people are slow. So I've made it a focal point to be on time or early these days and to only blame myself when I'm late. I already feel like less of an a**. Accept responsibility. Starting today, I challenge you to complete an audit of your life and take responsibility for fixing it.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00] Take the time to recognize then analyze why you're unhappy and what can be better, whether it's with your appearance, relationships, job, or life. Identify the things in your life that you're unhappy with, then start taking steps, even teeny tiny ones, to start improving them. Because we can change. I see it every freaking day. I get to watch people lose tremendous amounts of weight, find happiness and self-confidence, and completely transform their lives.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00] When people email me and say, your site changed my life, I let them know that I'm just a nerd writing articles. They are the ones taking action. They are the ones who have changed their own lives and need to thank themselves. Nerd fitness rebels accept responsibility for the hole they're in because they then get to accept responsibility for the eventual success that comes from personal development. And that success is coming. They will get to look in the mirror with pride and say, I am responsible for the good things that are happening to me.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00] Nobody else. I did it. Like Kid President will tell you in one of the most inspirational videos I've seen recently, stop being boring. Start being awesome. You just listened to the post titled, The Greatest Skill You Can Learn to Live a Better Life by Steve Kamb of nerdfitness.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_01] This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fruit Snacks. Back to school season can be tough on parents, but choosing a snack you and your kids can both get behind doesn't have to be. Stock up on Welch's Fruit Snacks, made with whole fruit and now made with no artificial dyes. It's a snack kids already love and one you can feel good about giving them. Go back to school with Welch's Fruit Snacks, now made with no artificial dyes.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00] Back to school starts now. Get long-lasting battery life on the Dell XPS laptop powered by Series 3 Intel Core, so you can work from anywhere. Now starting at $699, with exclusive student pricing starting at $599. Complete your setup with savings on select monitors and must-have electronics and accessories. Limited time deals and free shipping on PCs and more await you at dell.com slash deals.

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00] That's dell.com slash deals. Think of Steve. I really like this one, mostly because of the distinction he made with the words responsibility and fault. And I think that difference is really important. Because a lot of the time, the situation we're in really isn't entirely our fault. We all get dealt different hands, some way harder than others,

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_00] but it can still be our responsibility to do something about it. And that can be tough to swallow. It's so much easier to blame the traffic or the boss or the economy or bad luck. I catch myself doing it too, blaming the thing outside of me instead of looking at what I can actually control. But like he said, once he stopped looking outward, there's really only one place left to look, and that's ourselves. And that can be good news.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_00] Because if I'm part of the reason things are the way they are, then I'm also part of the reason they can get better. I don't have to wait around for permission from anyone. All that said, I don't think this means beating yourself up. It's not about guilt. It's more about taking back control. So thank you to Steve, and thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow, as usual, where optimal life awaits.