4132: Experiences, Not Things, Get Better With Time by Jay and Heather Harrington of Life And Whim on Happiness

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[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. Experiences, not things, get better with time. By Jay and Heather Harrington of LifeAndWhim.com. I'm Justin Malik, your narrator, reading you articles every day of the year with a little bit of my commentary at the end. So let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_00] Experiences, not things, get better with time. By Jay and Heather Harrington of LifeAndWhim.com. We better jog it out, I said to my wife Heather. She glanced up at me, strapped on her pack, and without a word, headed down the trail at a good clip as the rain began to intensify. We were in the middle of a getaway weekend, and in the midst of hiking through Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, on our way to the city of Marquette in Michigan's beautiful Upper Peninsula.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00] It was my idea to stop in Pictured Rock's, one of my favorite places to hike, since it's on the way, more or less, as you drive west to the peninsula from the Mackinac Bridge. Heather was up for hiking, as she always is, but there were a few details that I probably should have thought through a bit better. For one, we only had about two hours to spare, and seven miles to hike over mildly rugged terrain, which wasn't going to leave us much time to linger at the points of interest along the way, including majestic waterfalls and iron ore-stained cliff formations.

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00] Two, I forgot to take into account that there are not many easy dining options for long stretches in the Upper Peninsula, so we were forced to skip lunch in order to get the hike in. Heather is not a big fan of skipping lunch. Ever see those Snickers commercials? Finally, I didn't look real closely at the weather. If I had, I would have noticed that a storm was scheduled to roll in precisely at the time we were to reach the 3.5 mile turnaround point on our out-and-back hike. Hence, the need to jog it out.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00] When we reached our car, cold and soaked from head to toe, I tried to put a look-on-the-bright side of things spin on the situation. Again, a glance, but no response as Heather wiped mud off, well, pretty much everything. After a 45-minute drive to Marquette with an Abbott Brothers album playing and gorgeous Lake Superior views all around us, we headed straight to the Black Rocks brewery for some well-deserved craft beers.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00] Still soaked, we had a good laugh about the whole situation, and our conversation shifted from what went wrong to what went right, including the opportunity to take in some of the most amazing natural landscapes you'll see anywhere in the United States. After what turned out to be a great weekend, I ran into some of our good friends in our hometown of Traverse City who asked about our time away. I recounted our hiking adventure and summed it up by saying, I'm sure we'll look back at it fondly. With a laugh, one of our friends said,

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00] You've been saying that a lot lately. This is true. With summer drawing to a close, Heather and I felt the urgency to pack in as much as we could outside, and so planned a number of outings with other families, from camping, to river floats on inner tubes, to beach dinners in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore that seemed like great ideas, but in reality all involved challenges, especially with loads of kids under 8 years old in tow. During each experience, such as the beach dinner on an evening with 40 mph wind gusts,

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00] I try to put a look-back fondly spin on the situation. I hope that, like me, everyone who participated in these experiences will look back on them with a sense of positive nostalgia. After all, spending time, energy, and resources on experiences like these, unlike material possessions, tend to get better over time. The science of why experiences satisfy. There is a massive body of work in the field of behavioral psychology

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00] that suggests the hedonic superiority of experiential over material purchases. Put simply, the science proves that engaging in more experiences, rather than acquiring more things, makes us happier. One thread of this research focuses on the fact that experiences, as opposed to possessions, improve with time. Rarely do you hear anyone express buyer's remorse about time spent engaging in a favored activity, or trying something new.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00] In an academic paper titled Experientialism, Materialism, and Happiness, Professor Lee Van Boven of the University of Colorado summarized the research, and in doing so, recalled a Rocky Mountain hike that turned into a near disaster. According to Van Boven, quote, A beautiful, sunny June day turned stormy. First rained, then thunder, and lightning, followed by a blanket of snow, and we were nearly lost in the wilderness, end quote.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00] Despite this harrowing experience, Van Boven wrote, quote, Nevertheless, I have a very favorable retrospective evaluation of this trip. It was a highlight of that summer. I'm glad I did it, end quote. He went on to explain, quote, Experiences are often like this. They often give us pleasure in retrospect, in the memories we revisit, and in the stories we tell, even when they were unpleasant at the time. As one forgets the incidental annoyances and distractions that detract from the momentary enjoyment of an experience,

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_00] one memory of an experience can be sharpened, leveled, and spun, so that the experience seems better in retrospect than it actually was, end quote. In short, while we quickly adapt to new material possessions, and they lose their shine, experiences get better with time. Four ways to get more from an experience. While the science is compelling and interesting, most of us don't need some academic telling us why engaging in new experiences is so beneficial.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00] We just need to listen to our own instincts and intuition. The most lasting and positive memories don't come from acquiring something new, they come from doing something new. However, not all experiences are created equal. Some stand out. In our experience, the best, most memorable experiences share some common characteristics. Number one, they involve first moments. It's easy to slip into the rut of routine, so push and prod yourself to stretch out of your comfort zone and try new things.

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_00] By breaking the script and interrupting your life's patterns, you'll introduce an interesting new stimulus that will create lasting memories and make it feel like time is slowing down. Number two, they are done with friends. Research has shown that for a variety of reasons, experiences are more likely than material possessions to foster social relationships. This seems fairly obvious, right? Engaging in consumerism is a solitary activity, while engaging in experientialism is a group activity.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00] The bonds and memories forged during shared experiences are lasting. Plus, stories about an exciting experience are far more fun to talk about and listen to than conversation about someone's new sweater. Number three, they are done in the great outdoors. From Seneca to Henry David Thoreau, throughout history, wise thinkers have extolled the virtues of spending time outside. Today, scientists are finding evidence that being in nature has a profound impact on our brains and our behavior,

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_00] helping us to reduce anxiety, brooding, and stress, and increase our attention capacity, creativity, and our ability to connect with other people. And number four, they are done in all seasons. As the old Scandinavian saying goes, there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes. Among the reasons cited in trying to explain why the citizens of Scandinavian countries, such as Norway and Sweden, consistently rank higher in happiness studies,

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_00] is that they engage in active outdoor activity throughout all four seasons. It's not always easy to gear up for skiing, hiking, or even sledding with the kids on a cold winter day, but doing so is rarely a source of regret. Happiness, contentment, balance, these are all qualities that we aspire to. Often, we overcomplicate how to achieve them. They're not beyond reach. They can't be bought. They're not in someone else's hands. They don't exist in some distant,

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_00] uncertain future. Often, they're waiting for us right outside the front door. You just listened to the post titled, Experiences, not things, get better with time. By Jay and Heather Harrington of lifeandwhim.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_00] That's dell.com slash deals. Thank you to Jay and Heather. I love the story they opened with, getting caught in a storm on a hike, soaked and cold and jogging it out, and then a couple hours later, laughing about the whole thing, because I'm sure everyone's experienced something like that. The trips that don't go as planned somehow end up being the ones we tell stories about for years. And it's a really great point,

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00] that experiences actually get better with time. The newest tech gadget or even a new car kind of loses its shine very quickly. But a rough vacation or a hike somehow gets funnier and more meaningful with time. Our memory sort of edits out the discomfort of it all and keeps the good parts. And this is a good reminder that imperfect can also be great. We don't have to wait for perfect conditions,

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_00] the perfect weather, the perfect plan, to say yes to something. In fact, the imperfect version might be the one you remember most fondly anyway. As that Scandinavian saying goes, there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes. So with that, thank you to Jay and Heather for this one. And thank you for being here and listening every day. It really means a lot. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.