4138: Where The Bar is Set by Tynan on Defining Success

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[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_01] This is Optimal Living Daily, Where The Bar is Set by Tynan of Tynan dot com. And I'm your narrator Justin Malik, the guy that reads blogs or articles to you every single day of the year, including weekends and holidays. So with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. Where The Bar is Set by Tynan of Tynan dot com.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_01] I have a rule for myself that I have to shut my computer off at midnight every day. I allow myself to stay up until three, which means that after cleaning the RV and scratching a bit on the violin, I have two hours and change to read. So I read a lot of books. Usually I read nonfiction, but after a spell of three or four books about the brain, I wanted to read some fiction. With no particular title in mind, I went to Amazon and bought a book that was then the number one editor's choice

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_01] and a New York Times bestseller. With both awards, it must be pretty good, I thought. The idea for the book was interesting, but the actual plot was poorly constructed. The foreshadowing was so obvious that I couldn't help but hope that it was a red herring and that the actual twist at the end would be something more interesting. It wasn't. Worse, the author made so many amateur writing mistakes that I actually found it hard to read.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_01] Things like using a lot of adverbs and using difficult words that aren't more descriptive than the simple ones they replace. It was a disaster of a book, yet it was successful and fairly well liked. I thought about how that could be possible and came to the conclusion that the bar for writing a good book probably isn't set as high as I would assume. And under scrutiny, that actually makes sense. How many people would like to have a published novel with their name on it? Probably a lot.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_01] How many could come up with a decent idea for a story? Still, probably a lot. How many would have the confidence that they could get a book published? We're starting to lose a lot of people now. Of those with the confidence, how many have the free time to sit down and write 70,000 words? Not too many. Out of those we have left, how many also have the discipline to power through writing that much and resolving the problems that crop up during the process? Almost no one. That's how a fairly poor writer, in terms of writers, not in terms of all people,

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01] can publish a very successful book. The bar just isn't set that high. For a totally different example, look at how our society eats. Eat a granola bar globbed with sugar and you're eating quote-unquote healthy because you didn't eat a full-on candy bar. Did you get a ranch smothered salad with your pasta alfredo? Good job, healthy eater. People eat such trash as a matter of habit that the slightest deviation from that diet seems like a real accomplishment. The bar is set low.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_01] Work is another great example. Forget about a four-hour work week. If you have work that's important to you that you're trying to complete, I think that a 40-hour work week is a joke. I never go a day without doing some work, including weekends and holidays, and usually work for between 80 and 100 hours every week. The funny thing is, I'm actually trying to push myself harder because I think that even this amount of work is slacking a bit. A low bar is a dangerous thing because our expectations have a tendency to hover around

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_01] whatever standard is presented to us. There have been studies done where an item, say a toaster, is shown to two groups of people. Members of the first group are told that the toaster retails for $200 and then asked what they'd be willing to pay to take home the toaster today. The second group is told that the toaster retails for only $20 and is asked what they'd pay to buy it immediately. The $200 group is always willing to pay more. Same toaster, but a different bar.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_01] So when we hear that 40 hours of work is the right amount, we feel like we're killing ourselves if we're working 50. When we're told that wheat bread, which almost always has sugar and white flour in it, is healthier than white bread, we buy it and call it a day. This is not a good way to live. We are capable of so much and waste our potential in front of TV screens while poisoning our bodies with food that make us sluggish and sick. The irony of it is that our dreams aren't even as far away as they seem.

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_01] Since the bar is set low across the board, the amount of spare potential we'd have to tap into to get that novel written and published isn't even that great. As an experiment, I took two days and did very little, but still some, work on my project set to see how much of a novel I could write. I wrote 15,000 words in two days. This doesn't mean that we have to do everything to the point of excellence. I bought a violin and I'll never be good at it. I don't care enough and won't put in the time.

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_01] I use it for two-minute quasi-meditative breaks from programming. Same with working out. I'd like to put in the time and effort to become stronger, but my focus is limited, so I don't put much into that. I believe in balance, but not the same way that it's usually prescribed. I suggest picking one or two things where you're going to set your bar astronomically high. For me, it's set and learning. I spend 10 to 12 hours a day working on set and 2 to 3 on learning. You can say that eating healthy is up there too,

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_01] but I'm not as strict and well-researched as some people are. For the rest of the things in your life, you can keep the bar low. In theory, it's a good idea to try to have everything set high, but with lack of focus, it's impossible to get anything done. Most people fantasize that they have high standards for all areas of their lives, but really have low standards for everything. It's far better to be honest with yourself and admit that you'll slack in many areas, but completely crush one or two at a time.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_01] You just listened to the post titled, Where the Bar is Set, by Tynan of Tynan.com. I'll be right back with my commentary. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Payments, point of sale, online orders, inventory, staff, all in one place so you can focus on your customers instead of your to-do list. One thing about my favorite gelato place, besides the flavors,

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01] is that I'm always done paying in seconds. Tap to pay, receipt in my inbox, and the person behind the counter is actually talking to me instead of messing with a machine. That's Square. When the tools aren't the focus, the human part of the business gets to come forward. Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations, and insights together in one place so you're ready for whatever's next.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_01] Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash old. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash go slash O-L-D. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do. Thank you to Tynan. This one kind of flips the usual self-improvement message on its head, and I really liked it for that.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_01] Normally, we're told to raise the bar in every area of our lives, but Tynan's point is that we literally can't. There's only so much focus to go around. And the part that stuck with me was that our standards basically drift to whatever's put in front of us. He uses that toaster study where people will pay more for the exact same toaster just because they were told it normally costs more.

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_01] We do the same thing with how we work or how we eat. We just absorb whatever bar society sets without really choosing it. But it's nice to hear that it's actually okay to keep the bar low in most areas on purpose as long as you pick one or two things to really go all in on. He's honest that he's mediocre at the violin and at working out, and he's fine with that because his focus is elsewhere.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_01] And I think a lot of us secretly feel guilty for not being great at everything when really nobody is. Instead, we can see ourselves not as lazy, but actually focused as long as we're aware and happy with the choices we're making. So thank you to Tynan for this one. Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.