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Episode 4149:
Cylon George lost control of a car on a snowy freeway years ago, and he uses the steps skid training teaches as a map for the moments when life itself starts to slide: ease off the gas rather than getting busier, keep both hands on the practices that get abandoned first in a crisis, look at where the next stretch of road should be, and steer there. His point is that outside control is often gone, while control of the inner response never is.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.spirituallivingforbusypeople.com/control
Quotes to ponder:
"While it is true that we have less control of our lives than we think, we're never totally helpless."
"Decide what you want to experience. Look where you want to go."
Optimal Living Daily is a daily personal development and self-improvement podcast where we narrate the best self-help articles on minimalism, productivity, and intentional living, read to you by a professional narrator so you can live your best life a little more every day.
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[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_01] This is Optimal Living Daily. What to do when you're careening out of control. By Ceylon George of SpiritualLivingForBusyPeople.com Hello, old friend. That's not me calling you old. OLD stands for Optimal Living Daily. This is where I read articles to you every day of the year to help you live a more meaningful life. My name is Justin Malik, by the way. And there are no interviews on this show, so not really a typical podcast, just me sharing some great content with permission from the authors.
[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_01] So with that, let's jump right in as we optimize your life. What to do when you're careening out of control by Silon George of SpiritualLivingForBusyPeople.com Quote, When you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control how you respond to what's happening. That's where your power is. Unknown. Picture this. You're driving along the freeway on a snowy afternoon.
[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_01] Without warning, you lose control of the car, and it careens across four lanes of traffic, slamming into a snowbank on the shoulder. This is exactly the situation I found myself in years ago. The experience has stayed with me all these years. The sensation of losing control of a moving car is frightening beyond words. There's a feeling of helplessness that's hard to describe when you're at the total mercy of a 3,000-pound vehicle. Sometimes life can feel like that.
[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_01] One minute you feel like you're fully in control, the next something happens that completely shatters that feeling. A terminal diagnosis, an accident, or a sudden breakup can leave you feeling totally helpless. You may be tempted to say things like, What's the use in trying to make things better? Or, It's just the way things are. But we both know that these statements are not true. While it is true that we have less control of our lives than we think, we're never totally helpless. Even in a situation where you've lost control of a car,
[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01] you can make choices that can help you regain control. It turns out that the steps to regaining control of a skidding car can also help you regain control of your life. Number one, keep your foot off the gas. If you've lost control of a car, chances are you were driving too fast. That was true in my case. A truck was trying to pass me and was spraying blinding snow on my windshield. My response was to increase my speed to try to pass the truck driver instead. That's when I lost traction.
[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_01] The same can happen in our lives when we're going too fast. When something bad happens to you, do you respond by becoming insanely busy? Instead of trying to speed your way out of the situation, try taking your foot off the accelerator. Allow yourself to naturally slow down so your emotions can catch up to the reality of what's going on. Eliminate the busy work and allow yourself to sit with the emotions. Acknowledge your feeling of helplessness.
[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_01] This is the first step to regaining traction in your life. Number two, keep both hands on the steering wheel. The most dangerous aspect of losing control of a vehicle is the overwhelming sense of panic that can cause us to make decisions that make the situation worse. If you let go of the steering wheel out of fear and panic, you've given up the most effective tool you have for regaining control. Have you stopped praying, meditating, exercising, eating, or sleeping during a crisis?
[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_01] If you want to regain control, grab hold of the steering wheel with both hands. If you can only manage to exercise for five minutes a day instead of the usual 30, you'll be much better off exercising minimally rather than giving it up altogether. Number three, look where you want to go. When our lives are spinning out of control, it's natural to focus on what's going wrong and on past negative experiences. Instead of endlessly ruminating about what you could have done differently, ask yourself this question.
[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_01] What do I want to experience in this moment? Do you want to repair a broken relationship? Do you want the strength and discipline to do the right thing? Do you want to experience peace in your heart no matter what happens to you? Decide what you want to experience. Look where you want to go. Number four, steer where you want to go. Once you've set your sights on where you want to go, simply start turning the wheel of your life in that direction.
[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_01] You can do this by making a sincere apology or fully accepting your life situation by releasing anger and resentment. These are not easy steps to take and they won't happen instantly, and that's okay. Just focus on doing one small thing each day that will help you move in the direction you want your life to go. Get back on the road. If you're in a situation that feels helpless and hopeless, if you feel like your life is about to crash,
[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_01] know that you can avoid disaster by taking steps to regain control of your inner life. You may not be able to control what's going on externally, but you don't have to relinquish control of what's going on in your mind and heart. Just gently let your foot off the gas, keep hold of the steering wheel, look where you want to go, and turn the wheel in that direction. Take these steps and you'll be back on the road to wholeness and well-being in no time.
[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_01] You just listened to the post titled, What to do when you're careening out of control? By Ceylon George of SpiritualLivingForBusyPeople.com And I'll be right back with my commentary.
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[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01] Take it a salon. It's a good analogy, losing control of a car on an icy road and how the same steps that help you recover from a skid can help when your life feels like it's skidding too. And this ties into what might be the most repeated idea on this whole show, that we usually can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. Although simple to say and really hard to do, especially in the middle of a crisis. But like he said,
[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_01] we gotta keep both hands on the wheel. He points out that when things fall apart, that's exactly when we tend to drop the very things that keep us steady. We stop sleeping well, we stop exercising, and so on. And I've noticed that in myself. When I'm stressed, the first things to go are usually the habits that would probably help me the most. I love his little fix for that too. If you normally exercise for 30 minutes but can only manage five, well do the five.
[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_01] Minimal really is so much better than nothing. If you've listened to this show for even a little bit, you'll know that I'm a huge fan of baby steps, his last point. It's not about fixing everything at once, just one small turn of that steering wheel. So do turn that wheel today just a little bit. Thank you for being here every day and learning along with me. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits. Let's see you tomorrow.