4168: Are You On An Emotional Rollercoaster Every Day? by Allison Carmen on Emotional Resilience

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[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_01] This is Optimal Living Daily. Are you on an emotional rollercoaster every day? By Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com. And I'm your narrator, Justin Malik, the guy that reads blogs or articles to you every single day of the year, including weekends and holidays. I appreciate you listening every single day. It really means a lot. We're gonna get right to our next post as we optimize your life.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01] Are you an emotional rollercoaster every day? By Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com. My client Lauren came to me a few months ago frustrated that she cannot stay joyful all day long. She felt her emotions were a rollercoaster depending on what she was experiencing in the outside world. I asked her to keep a journal so we could look at what was triggering her emotions. When we reviewed her journal, it read like this. Quote, I woke up in the morning really excited for the possibilities of my day.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01] I had some toast and coffee and I felt great. I woke the children up and they were very cranky. Steve would not eat breakfast and Sophia would not stop screaming. I finally got them out the door and I felt so negative and annoyed. Why is my life like this? I bet other parents don't have this type of morning. The children missed the bus and I had to drive them to school. I was 30 minutes late for work and I was tired and cranky. I went to my desk and saw that my boss was out sick so I had until tomorrow for my project. I felt positive.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_01] About two hours later the phone rang and it was my brother asking me for money. I really did not want to lend him money again. I started to feel negative again. End quote. Lauren wanted more emotional balance in her life but she could not just snap her fingers and turn off her thoughts and reactions to the outside world. Lauren wanted to know how she could cultivate an inner joy in space that would sustain her throughout the day no matter what she faced. Here's my daily practice that I shared with Lauren to help her maintain emotional stability throughout her day.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01] Number one, gratitude. I wrote about this before in the Attitude of Gratitude post. In the morning when I wake up, before my mind starts going through everything I need to do for the day, I stop and remind myself of all the people and things for which I am grateful. I was never one to list things or keep a routine but the gratitude list helps me gain a sustainable perspective before I even get out of bed. I have a greater understanding of what is really important to me throughout the day and I'm less affected by outside daily events.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_01] I also end my days with a gratitude exercise, this time focusing on fortunate circumstances from the day. A better perspective before I go to bed on the day that has passed allows me to calm my mind, stay hopeful, and sleep better. Number two, I remember the mantra of maybe throughout the day. Sometimes when we get upset it is because we believe that we are stuck in a pattern and things are not going our way. We forget that life will change again.

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_01] We can remind ourselves that as bad as things may look or feel, there are always the possibilities that maybe what is happening will turn out to be good. Maybe it will get better. Or maybe we can make peace and live with what we are experiencing and still be okay. With maybe, we can return to the present peacefully and have hope for the future. Number three, sometimes we don't even realize that we have become negative and down until hours or days later.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_01] Creating awareness of when and how our emotions get low is an ongoing practice. Sometimes when clients such as Lauren journal their day, it becomes more clear to them when they take dips. By creating awareness around our emotional dips and turns, we have a guide as to when to use maybe and other techniques to ward off too many mood swings. Some people set alarms at specific times during the day when they can look at the clock and take note of what is going on around them and within themselves. It reminds them to be present and grateful.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01] And the result is awareness of what is important. Number four, I make a point of filling my day with little things that remind me of joy. Sometimes it is as simple as a cup of tea and other times it is making time for a call with a friend or relative. I like to spread these little joys throughout the day to remind me of the feeling of joy and steer me toward emotional balance. Having this daily practice does not mean you will never feel sad, negative, or anxious.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_01] It merely stops us from dwelling too far into negative emotions for the little and sometimes bigger mishaps that occur during the day. It helps us keep a bigger perspective on what is really important as well as all that is still possible in our lives. The more aware we become of the things that throw us off course, the less we will allow daily experiences to overcome our inner joy and path. Lauren finds the practice is really helping her not feel so desperate and negative every

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_01] time something unexpected or undesirable happens in her life. She appreciates what she has and realizes that maybe is always by her side. So maybe give it a try. Who knows what can happen? You just listened to the post titled, Are You on an Emotional Rollercoaster Every Day? by Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary. Now I want to tell you about a book that stuck with me.

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[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_01] Thank you to Lori Deschene, friend of the show. This one reminded me of reminders, actually. So for example, one of her suggestions was journaling because we often don't realize when things turned more negative. We almost need a reminder to check in and actually think about our mood and the events that affected it. I personally use a mood tracker for this. It's just a simple app where I log my current mood and what things were taking place.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_01] I don't think it's necessary, but I've found it's an easy way to remind myself to mentally check in and then I can get a bit more analytical and look for patterns. Another sort of reminder is gratitude journaling. We need to remind ourselves to be grateful, to actually think about the good things. Otherwise, we can get stuck in that negative space and it becomes hard to get out. This also, I think, doesn't need to be super formal.

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_01] I've mentioned before that I bought one of those books that has the same thing on every page and it's quite an expensive book. The only thing that changes on each page is the quote at the top. If I were to do it all over again, I'd keep the gratitude practice, but get rid of the book itself. It's not necessary. Allison also mentioned filling her day with little things that remind her of joy. So that's another reminder. Reminders all over the place.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_01] And hopefully this podcast can also serve as that daily reminder for you. I know it does for me. So keep remembering and reminding yourself. Have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.