4180: How to Prepare For Chaos by Cylon George on Emotional Resilience

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[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. How to prepare for chaos by Ceylon George of spirituallivingforbusypeople.com. And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every day, including holidays. Now let's get right to it and start optimizing your life. How to prepare for chaos by Ceylon George of spirituallivingforbusypeople.com.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_00] Order. It's the one thing we as humans crave more than almost anything else. Order represents predictability, safety, certainty, and survival. Our societal way of life is built on the premise that we need order to survive and thrive. We have laws and norms to help us achieve this important goal. It's remarkable that it seems like we have largely succeeded in creating a world ruled by order.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00] Your paycheck deposits into your bank account like clockwork. Lines on our highways keep cars from colliding into each other. Your trash gets picked up every week. Wars don't spontaneously break out on your doorstep. Order gives way to chaos. But you also understand that there are times when paychecks don't make it to your account on time to cover upcoming expenses. That sometimes cars do drift from their lanes into oncoming traffic.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00] That sometimes garbage collectors go on strike, leaving rotting trash to spoil an otherwise beautiful neighborhood. And that there are many places around the world where wars do break out, and personal safety is far from guaranteed. In these moments of understanding, we feel the powerful force of chaos breaking into our world, like hurricane winds shattering the windows of your home. We all know what this betrayal feels like when the thin ice of order breaks, and the ground upon which we stand is no more.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_00] Chaos has a way of washing you away and taking you to places you would never have chosen to go. Chaos shows up when life is ready to reveal itself to you by dissolving the facade. Maybe you're thinking, why can't life just keep the facade intact? Or, what's the point of chaos? I don't quite know the answer to these questions myself. I could say that chaos helps you grow as a person, so you become a more mature, thoughtful, and empathetic human being. I believe that's often true.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00] But I also know that chaos can wreak devastating pain and destruction in one's life. No discernible lessons learned, no silver linings, no happy endings. Just unspeakable pain. How to prepare for chaos. There are two ways you can learn to prepare for the cycles of chaos that inevitably come to us all. Number one, have a plan. It goes without saying that preparing for anything necessitates having a plan.

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00] We don't plan for the coming of chaos because we are simultaneously terrified of chaos and blindly trusting of order. When we don't plan, we're prone to make poor decisions when chaos strikes. A person who lost lots of money in a business deal gone south may throw more money away trying to fix the problem. Or a person who lost a spouse suddenly may try to re-enter the dating scene before they're ready.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00] Probably the most important plan you can have is to wait for a certain period before making important decisions. Another to consider is to resist immediately assigning blame or just avoiding blame altogether. And a third is making a commitment not to run away from your sadness and pain. And number two, learn to deal with low-level chaos. How do you react when you're late for a meeting? Or when you spill coffee on your shirt? Or when the house is messy?

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00] If you routinely overreact to these relatively minor inconveniences, you will have a harder time dealing with higher-level chaos when it comes. The truth is that most of us either overreact or try to ignore our feelings. However, it's all but impossible to ignore the anxiety such situations produce in us. Allison Wood Brooks of Harvard Business School proposes reframing anxiety as excitement. Quote,

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00] The way we verbalize and think about our feelings helps to construct the way we actually feel. Saying, I'm excited represents a simple, minimal intervention that can be used quickly and easily to prime an opportunity mindset and improve performance. End quote. This was described largely in the context of people preparing to do difficult things, such as giving a speech to a large audience. But it can also work when dealing with minor to moderate inconveniences.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00] Chaos will never lead you astray. The key to weathering chaos in our lives is to stop pretending it doesn't exist. The truth is that chaos is all around us, all the time. If you learn to befriend it instead of avoid it, very few things will frighten you. Very few things will take away your peace. And you'll learn to trust that chaos is ultimately a life-giving, benevolent force that will never lead you astray.

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[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_02] Pink Panther is here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at Coach.com.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00] Thank you to Ceylon. There's an interesting part in there where he said, I also know that chaos can wreak devastating pain and destruction in one's life. No discernible lessons learned, no silver linings, no happy endings, just unspeakable pain. I'm sure we've all experienced this at some level, where there really doesn't seem to be a silver lining or happy ending. One thing I will add to that is that

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_00] it's impossible to say we didn't somehow learn or grow from those moments as well. Now, would we have grown anyway if that certain terrible event didn't happen? Sure. But are we stronger because of that specific event? Well, maybe. Maybe not. We may never know, but there certainly was some kind of learning or growth. And you might have noticed his tips and ideas boil down to really just two things.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_00] Accept chaos or hedge against it. That is, do as much planning as you can. We also have to accept that chaos is inevitable. And constantly trying to fight against it, or perfectionism and anything along those lines for that matter, is a waste of time at best, but also probably exhausting and stressful on top of it. There's the classic serenity prayer that came to my mind while reading this one about giving me the strength to accept the things I cannot change,

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00] the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. That's very applicable here. So something to keep in mind this week. And with that, have a great rest of your day. Thank you for listening. And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.