4185: The Other F Word: Failure by Lea Genders of Lea Genders Fitness on Personal Growth

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[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00] This is Optimal Living Daily. The other F-word, Failure, by Leah Genders of LeahGendersFitness.com. And I'm Justin Malik. This is the show where I usually read to you kind of like an audio book, but on Sundays, it's nice to share an episode from a different podcast where we read to you. And today's coming from my brother's show, Optimal Health Daily. You can find it wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for Optimal Health Daily. Without further ado, here's my brother, Dr. Neil. As we

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_01] optimize your life. The other F-word, Failure, by Leah Genders of LeahGendersFitness.com. What happens when your plans don't play out exactly as you hoped? We've all been there. Failure is a dirty word, the other F-word. We don't always like to admit it, but failure is a part of the process.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_01] At my fitness convention a couple of weeks ago, a presenter offered this way to look at failure. One, failure as a confirmation to quit. And two, failure as a process to keep learning and to achieve your goals. While the point of the presentation was to look at failure as an opportunity to build resiliency, I think that failure as confirmation to quit can also be acceptable.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_01] Yes, we shouldn't give up on the path to our dreams, but sometimes we are not on the right path. You don't read about real failure a lot, after all. Admitting personal failure on the internet is hard to do. When people talk about personal failure, it's usually about overcoming a perceived failure. They are success stories in disguise. They typically end with some inspiring story about how failure caused them to learn and grow and ultimately become a better person.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_01] Now, that's an easier story to tell. I've told that one myself, and I may be telling it now. I read a blog post about failure where the writer described not studying for a class in her senior year of college and faced the potential failure of the course and not graduating. She goes on to explain how in the last hour, she studied day and night and squeaked by with a barely passing grade that allowed her to graduate on time.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01] And now, she has a fantastic, high-powered job that is well-deserved. That's not a failure. Failure would be studying your butt off all semester and then still failing the class and graduating a semester late, or not at all. Another post described failure as a layoff from a dream job due to company cutbacks. The writer lamented that she felt like a failure because she was a college graduate

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_01] and was forced to be underemployed and accept work as an administrative assistant. Of course, the blog post ended with her finding an even better job with a higher salary after growing personally from her so-called failure. Again, not a failure. Being laid off by no fault of your own and temporarily taking a job that you feel is beneath you is not a failure. I get that it can feel like one.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01] Many years ago, I had an experience in my corporate career that left me feeling like a failure because I wasn't good enough despite my best efforts. I gave in to stress and overwhelm. I gave up. When it was over, there were no second chances or comebacks. I fell flat on my face. The end, or so I thought. I didn't know how to handle it because I was digging deep for the life lessons in my failure and I couldn't find any.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_01] How did it cause me to grow? What did I learn? I struggled because I walked away from it as a failure but didn't have an overcoming failure story to go with it. There wasn't a happy ending, a lesson, or an opportunity to grow. I just failed. I wasn't even failing right. I was a failure at failing. Failing, as long as you learn from it, is okay. I struggled to find my lesson. I failed because I wasn't on the right path.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_01] If I wouldn't have failed, I may have climbed the wrong ladder, made more money with a higher level position with more responsibility, more stress, and further away from my real purpose. That was not my path. If I hadn't failed, I might never have done the hard soul-searching to figure out what I want out of life. I would have continued to follow the path that was laid out in front of me, instead of forging my own way.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_01] I wouldn't be here today with this blog, this coaching, and my personal training business. That failure led me to taking a leap that I never would have had the courage to do if I had been successful. You know how they say, take the leap and the parachute will appear? Well, I don't recommend it to the risk averse, but that is exactly what happened to me. I jumped because my current situation was so painful that it was my only option.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_01] I realize now that when I was looking for the life lesson in my failure and asking myself what I could have done differently, the only answer that ever came up was, not do it in the first place. It wasn't that I needed to learn what I could have done differently. It was that I needed to come to realize that career wasn't the one that aligns with my values or lights my soul on fire. I failed. It was my fault.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_01] I didn't have what it took because my light needed to shine somewhere else. I couldn't see it at the time, but the lesson was that I failed because I wasn't on the right path. I had to fail to find my way in this world. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. There was something bigger and better waiting for me. I just had to have the courage to go after it. So, I guess this is another success story disguised as a failure.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_01] My story is not a wealth or fame success story, but the success of leading the type of life that I choose to live. My failure was a confirmation to quit something that wasn't working for me. You just listened to the post titled, The Other F Word, Failure, by Leah Genders of leahgendersfitness.com. And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_03] Pink Panther is here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_01] Dr. Neil here for my commentary. I share this tidbit about me once a month during the first Q&A episode of each month, so this may sound familiar. My path to health and wellness was not straightforward at all. I started off in college as a pre-med major, but then I failed my second chemistry class and realized that maybe I wasn't cut out for the sciences after all. I got diagnosed with a chronic disease as a sophomore in college, changed my major, and graduated with a degree in psychology,

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_01] only to find I didn't want to continue with a career in psychology. So, first I thought I could make it as a guitarist in a band. That didn't work out. Although, if you really dig around, you can still find our music on the interweb somewhere. Then, I found a desk job and worked there for two years. I dreaded Mondays because I disliked my job so much. It seemed like I only lived for those two days a week where I didn't have to be at work. My chronic condition didn't get any better.

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01] I wasn't following any healthy habits after all. I would sit at my desk for eight hours a day, pick up some fast food on the way home, and watch TV the rest of the evening. And day after day would look the same. Then, to use today's author's Leah's words, all of this was confirmation to quit something that wasn't working for me. I just couldn't quit my job and do nothing though, so I had to do some soul searching. Again, using Leah's words,

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_01] I knew there was something bigger and better waiting for me. I just needed to go after it. So, I asked myself, what do I want out of life? How do I want to be remembered? My answer, again, after some soul searching, maybe I could help others in some way. Maybe I could help those with a chronic disease like me. And that's how I eventually ended up here, talking to you. So, if you've been meaning to make that leap and try something different, do it.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_01] It doesn't have to work. It doesn't have to go perfectly. But just try. I promise you'll regret it if you don't. All right, that'll do it for today. I hope you have a great weekend, and I'll see you back here tomorrow where your optimal life awaits. Let's go.