2917: Two Things Stopping You from Your Next First (And Why You’ll Never Forgive Yourself) by Tom Nixon with Life and Whim

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Before we start, please check out our new podcast Good Sleep.

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[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 2917, two things stopping you from your next first

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_00]: and why you'll never forgive yourself by Tom Nixon with Life and Whim, Optimal Living.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm Justin Malik and we're going to jump right into today's article as we optimize your life.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Two things stopping you from your next first and why you'll never forgive yourself by Tom Nixon with Life and Whim, Optimal.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll never forget my first kiss but I have no idea where I was on my 37th.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: My first car was a yellow-buy ex-guyhawk. No idea what my sixth one was.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_00]: My first day of college seems like yesterday.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: All the other days walking to class blend together into one amorphous blob of nostalgia and feel like forever ago.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: At someone who's been closely following Life and Whim's dedication to the power of Life's first moments,

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_00]: I can speak as a proud member of the converted. The science behind this phenomenon is convincing

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Man familiar. There's just something about that first time that seeps into your psyche,

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: and later comes to define how you evaluate your life and contributions to the world around you.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I've been inspired by this journey through understanding and harnessing the power of first,

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: even to the point of forcing myself into uncomfortable situations, I would otherwise avoid.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_00]: But I've learned that it's only through pain that growth happens.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00]: My first audition. Living in a home filled with budding and accomplished that's being

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: alike, I've been immersed into musical theater over the last decade or so.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Growing up as an athlete, theater was something that never really interested me.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: But the more I sat in dark theaters watching amateurs have the time of their lives performing

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: in community theater, the more I was drawn to it. It didn't matter that some of the actors were

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: brilliant while others were tragically subpar. They were all doing it and they were leaving

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: whatever apprehensions they may have also had far behind. Good for them.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Even better for me. My wife practically forced me to attend my first audition,

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I was terrified, my zero experience, I didn't even know what to expect or what to do.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I was going to fall flat on my face and be laughed out of the room.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Until I didn't. Tom, you'll be Alvin T. Patterson, a bumming hick of a goofball that has to do a

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_00]: soft shoe solo. Huh? Funny thing happened on my way to the Colosseum or community theater stage.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I loved it. I received accolades, not humiliation. I got something known as the theater bug

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: which presented as post-partum depression when the player wrapped up. I actually missed it.

[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I decided then and there, I'm a theater guy now, and I haven't looked back.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Two years later I landed a role as one of the leading characters in a Shakespearean drama.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Had I never done the first, I would have never had the opportunity to do the next.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: My first novel. When a dear friend passed away unexpectedly a couple of years ago,

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: it forced me to take stock. Not only was I morning his loss,

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: was also lamenting the fact that no one in the world would ever get a chance to read his brilliant

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: writing, and use gifted, but never published. How did I want my own legacy to play out?

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I've written everything from children's books to screenplays, but I never had anything published.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Modern technology removes all of the barriers,

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and excuses, to getting your work published and distributed. So I wrote.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: My bucket list dream was converted into an actual plan, and this time,

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: I had to force myself to take the first step. I opened a new document, and simply typed without thinking.

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody knows somebody like Joel Thomas. I didn't even have an idea yet,

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: but I had to start explaining that opening line. And I was off.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Nine months later, the long lost was published. I can't tell you how

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: fulfilling the act of completing and publishing a novel is for someone who's always loved writing.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Again, I was both humbled and somewhat shocked to receive accolades not disparagement.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: So what had I been waiting for? Two things stop you from pursuing the next first.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Fear, and inertia. Fear failure or mockery and the comfort and ease of doing nothing at all.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But the reality is that those impediments are two things that we have complete control over,

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: not somebody else. My daughter's first. This belief system is something thanks to life and whim

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00]: that I'm determined to pass along to my children. Firsts matter. And you control when and how they

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_00]: happen. Just this week, my daughter was attending a singing camp, decided she wanted to back out of

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: me. I wasn't going to force her to fall through, but I did have a conversation with her about

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: what happens if she decides not to go through it. She never experienced her second audition

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_00]: if she doesn't go through with her first. Eventually, and logically, that leads to a life without

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: musical theater in it. In the end though, I left the decision up to her. The next day,

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_00]: she overcame what really boiled down to stage fright and went through with the audition.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And she got a call back. I don't have to tell you how happy that made her or how proud it

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: made her father, and how comes the life lesson to follow? She would literally never know that

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: joy had she not overcome fear and inertia. I don't care all that much about whether she lands the

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: solo, but I care deeply about the lesson she just learned and how it will apply to her own

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: legacy going forward. Your first is waiting. I hope more people will invest in this idea

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_00]: and come to recognize how powerful, memorable, and impactful life's first moments can be.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm living proof that a matter's, malat, and so too will you be. You control all the power here.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: You either succumb to fear and inertia or you start creating moments that truly do last a lifetime.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll close with the story close to home for those in Northern Michigan. My wife and I frequently

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: visit Traverse City and when we do, we make a point to take the scenic drive up Old Mission

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Peninsula and back. I can't tell you how many times we've done that and really I can't tell you,

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: which doesn't as so many times that they're all blurred to me now. But on our most recent

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: excursion, we happened to notice a road sign that read Old Mission in two miles. We'd have to make

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: a right turn off our usual path if we wanted to check out this landmark that we never do even

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: but heck, we had nowhere to be so we made the turn. I'll never forget the conversation I had with

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: the in-keeper of what I now know to be Michigan's oldest hotel even older than the grand hotel.

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll never forget how quaint the architecture was, nor the charm and antiquity of the old

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00]: fashion or spuggy adorning the front lawn. I'll never forget the gorgeous view of the bay you see while

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00]: standing on the hotels front porch. And while all of my other Johns up the Peninsula seemed to run

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: together in a more-fist blob of nostalgia, I'll never forget the first time we took a right turn off

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: our planned path to try something new for a change. You just listen to the post titled,

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_00]: two things stopping you from your next first and why you'll never forgive yourself by Tom Nixon with

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[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Take it a Tom and Jay and Heather over at life and whim. They had a little opening paragraph

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00]: introducing this post so I'll share that now and then some comments on my own. They said,

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00]: when you're experiencing something new, you feel on fire. You create new memories. Time slows down.

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_00]: You break free of the rut of routine. We've been writing a great deal about the power of first moments

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_00]: of the last six months, and we've been thrilled to hear feedback from our readers that they've been

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_00]: inspired to chase more first moments of their own. This in turn has led us to create a new feature

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00]: in which members of the life and whim community share their own inspiring stories. Leading

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00]: things off as Tom Nixon and entrepreneur, musician, actor, author, friend and lover of Northern Michigan.

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Check out Tom's take on what it has meant to spend a year chasing first.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So again, they get a Tom for sharing this one. It's so true about first moments and what's funny is

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I distinctly remember the first time I read about first experiences from life and whim.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_00]: You let your brain wrap around that one. But it's true I read a post way back in episode 12, 17.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_00]: This was in the year 2019 and it really stuck with me because they talked about how you can slow

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_00]: down summer with new experiences and the title that post is experience the longest summer of

[00:10:54] [SPEAKER_00]: this year. It is also a great one titled, Slow Down Your Life,

[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_00]: through the magic of first moments. Both of those were checking out that one was episode 1370.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: But in any case, hope you enjoyed this one and maybe give you inspiration to try something new.

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00]: But I'll do it for today, have a great rest of your day and we back for the third day show tomorrow

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: where you're optimal life awaits.