2928: How Social Media Creates Narcissists, and What To Do About It by Ali Cornish of Everthrive

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[00:00:58] wonderfulpistachios.com. This is optimal living daily episode 2928,

[00:01:05] How Social Media Creates Narcissists and What To Do About It by Ali Kornish of Everthrive.org.

[00:01:12] Immunerator Justin Malik the guy that reads blogs or articles to you every single day of the

[00:01:16] year with permission from the authors. I do appreciate you being here and listening.

[00:01:20] It's the only way that I've been able to keep going after all these years.

[00:01:25] And we're gonna keep it up, so let's get right to our next post as we optimize your life.

[00:01:34] How Social Media Creates Narcissists and What To Do About It by Ali Kornish of Everthrive.org.

[00:01:41] Lately I've been cleaning up my digital photos. The goal is to eliminate redundancies

[00:01:46] and bad photos, the latter of which are determined by small file size,

[00:01:50] low resolution, improper camera angles, meaningless or confusing content.

[00:01:56] As I began dredging my pictures, I noted a dominating presence of selfies.

[00:02:02] After a brief period of shock, self-loathing, followed by grim acknowledgement,

[00:02:06] I collected them all in a folder labeled creatively,

[00:02:10] Ali selfies. And counting them I found more than a thousand.

[00:02:14] Why so many? What spurred this dramatic increase in documenting my face?

[00:02:19] I traced them back to their relative year of inception, 2004.

[00:02:23] The year I got the Motorola Razer camera phone.

[00:02:26] The year my first series relationship ended. And the year I joined Facebook.

[00:02:31] At that time, Facebook was only available for college students.

[00:02:35] I was a senior at the University of San Diego and I worked as the features editor of the Vista.

[00:02:40] One day at the office someone broached the topic of another MySpace

[00:02:44] and we editors became extremely intrigued. We were already frolicking on MySpace and AOL

[00:02:50] Instant Messenger but we were thrilled at the prospect of yet another method to commune with

[00:02:54] our fellow undergrads. After signing up, we spent the afternoon poking each other and crafting

[00:02:59] witty status updates. We sent friend requests to our roommates, our boyfriends, our girlfriends.

[00:03:05] We wanted to friend everyone we had ever come into contact with.

[00:03:08] Facebook would feed our desperation for social interaction beyond university walls.

[00:03:13] Little do we know Facebook would prey on our insecurities and assist in our evolution as narcissists.

[00:03:20] Narcissism is defined as a tendency to believe oneself to be superior to others,

[00:03:25] to persistently pursue admiration from others, and to participate in egotistic thinking

[00:03:30] and behavior. Numerous studies show a strong correlation between insecure

[00:03:35] narcissistic tendencies and social media use. There's a very good chance that people who

[00:03:40] post self-promotional content and those who spend more than one hour a day on Facebook or

[00:03:45] other social networks have issues with their self-esteem. There's also a good chance that

[00:03:50] those who practice the art of the selfie, or utilize social media barring business purposes,

[00:03:55] are feeding into their own insecurities producing narcissistic tendencies. For individuals

[00:04:00] such as myself aged 18 to 40, the millennial and zennial generations, taking selfies and

[00:04:06] using social media platforms may seem to be integral parts of life. We have an inherent need for attention

[00:04:13] since we are products of the self-esteem movement emphasized by parental hovering,

[00:04:17] instant gratification, and meaningless praise. Social media feeds the need for instant rewards.

[00:04:24] It both creates and rewards narcissistic tendencies by providing an endless outlet

[00:04:29] for self-promotion. Once we acknowledge this generational trend, we can be aware of

[00:04:34] its manifestation in our actions and make our acumen for social media into something useful

[00:04:40] instead of something detrimental. Before joining Facebook, I already had a rich albeit

[00:04:45] detrimental digital life on MySpace. I carefully curated photo albums of my travels

[00:04:50] and posted highly photoshopped profile pictures. I took advantage of the embedded music player

[00:04:55] and chose what I thought were unique songs on a rotating basis.

[00:04:59] One month David Bowie's modern love might play upon entering. The next month would be

[00:05:03] Swee Emotion by Aerosmith. After that, perhaps some hip hop featuring members of Hieroglyphics.

[00:05:09] I included something about how I only watched Coen Brothers films,

[00:05:12] even though if you asked me what films they made, I could only name the Big Lebowski.

[00:05:17] By using both MySpace and Facebook, my self-esteem rose and fell with each font change,

[00:05:22] each message, and each new connection. I hid behind the curtain of digital interaction.

[00:05:28] I thought that everyone would be interested in what I was doing

[00:05:31] and I wanted them to know what I was doing. This was the essence of self-promotion for its own sake.

[00:05:38] Once I grew more aware of the reasons behind my digital habits,

[00:05:42] I became disgusted with myself. I quit MySpace in 2007. I quit Facebook shortly after.

[00:05:49] During my years of disconnection, I reconnected with myself. I got a dog and through his

[00:05:55] companionship, I rekindled a genuine appreciation for solitude and nature.

[00:06:01] I went on long walks through forced trails without posting to social media.

[00:06:05] Instead of checking Facebook when I was bored, I put more time into planning events with friends

[00:06:10] and family and into conversing in real-time, Sam's device with those around me.

[00:06:15] I put my time and energy into my Education Masters program where I received a near 4.0.

[00:06:21] I experienced entire albums on vinyl while exploring the not-so-secret world of craft beer.

[00:06:27] I began handwriting letters again. I resumed reflecting on my own life

[00:06:31] instead of the lives of others. It is 2016 and I have since rejoined Facebook,

[00:06:37] but now I use it with awareness and moderation. I try not to use my device as a distraction

[00:06:43] even though this can be difficult at times. I've turned off all notifications and only like or

[00:06:48] post something when I think the information is truly useful to at least a few of my

[00:06:52] connections. I am aware when I enter social media loops from which it is difficult to emerge.

[00:06:58] Through my trial and error, I have come to understand the true essence and purpose of Facebook.

[00:07:04] Under the guise of connecting with friends, Facebook only exists as a means to promote

[00:07:08] ourselves to others. Some psychologists are calling the resulting self-promotional phenomenon

[00:07:14] the new socially acceptable narcissism. However, I don't think that narcissism

[00:07:19] should be a social normative in our society. Extreme self-involvement should never be okay,

[00:07:25] and people should not abuse themselves as such on social media. Instead, we should be

[00:07:30] aware of the reasons we're picking up our devices and losing ourselves to social media.

[00:07:35] We should know why we feel like seeking attention from others online.

[00:07:39] Above all, we need to acknowledge our offline loneliness and overcome our fears of isolation

[00:07:45] and rejection. When we come to terms with our social needs, we can get to the heart

[00:07:50] of our insecurities, thereby emerging from our narcissistic cages. You just listened to the

[00:07:59] post titled How Social Media Creates Narcissists and What to Do About It by Ali Kornish of

[00:08:05] Everthrive.org. Thank you to Ali. Some time ago, there was a kind of frightening documentary

[00:08:12] about social media called The Social Dilemma that, while can be a bit of a scare tactic itself,

[00:08:19] does have some enlightening information from experts in the field that I think people should

[00:08:23] be aware of. So if you're interested in seeing why you see certain information, how it might be

[00:08:28] different than what other people see and hear from even the people who created these networks

[00:08:33] but no longer want anything to do with them, you can check out that documentary on Netflix.

[00:08:37] Again, that's called The Social Dilemma. But I think I'll wrap it up there. Have a great rest of

[00:08:42] your day with maybe a little less social media and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.