2932: The Courage it Takes to Be Happy by Margo Aaron of That Seems Important on How to Be Truly Happy

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[00:01:01] This is optimal living daily episode 2932 the courage it takes to be happy by Margo Aaron of that seems important calm

[00:01:11] And I'm Justin Malik your personal narrator reading to you every single day of the year with permission from the authors

[00:01:17] And we get right to our next post as we optimize your life

[00:01:21] The courage it takes to be happy by Margo Aaron of that seems important calm

[00:01:33] Lately I've been mulling over the courage it takes to be happy not that Instagram performance happy, but truly

[00:01:41] sincerely happy

[00:01:43] There's significant research on happiness

[00:01:45] We know empirically that joy is greater than happiness

[00:01:49] One is lasting the other fleeting and that there are 60 million

[00:01:54] Catrillion benefits to your physical and emotional well-being if you're happier

[00:01:59] We also know empirically that if you want to be for real happy in life, you need good

[00:02:05] authentic no kidding

[00:02:07] substantive positive relationships not fake or superficial ones

[00:02:13] Relationships are the protective and predictive factor for a happy life

[00:02:17] I'm concerned with why we preach entitlement to happiness as a cultural value

[00:02:22] But fail to adequately pursue it or even recognize it when it hits us like we act as if the research doesn't exist

[00:02:29] Or isn't relevant to us specifically

[00:02:33] I'm not sure we know the difference between someone who is sincerely happy a positive emotional state that includes

[00:02:39] satisfaction

[00:02:40] contentment

[00:02:41] fulfillment and for the sake of discussion will include joy and

[00:02:45] Someone who's faking it. I'm concerned about this for the same reason people are concerned about social media and AI

[00:02:53] Can we tell between real and fake and doesn't matter?

[00:02:59] It's our prerogative to live unsatisfied

[00:03:02] Unhappy bitter and resentful lives. That's part of freedom. You're allowed

[00:03:07] I'm allowed to be angry and post like I'm not there's no law

[00:03:10] I'm violating that prevents me from presenting a false self to the world

[00:03:15] Where I think it gets dangerous is with the lying

[00:03:18] You're entitled to feel whatever you feel

[00:03:20] But you're not allowed to tell others how they should live their lives based on how you live yours

[00:03:26] You're not allowed to claim you're fine when you're not in order to save face

[00:03:30] And you're not allowed to rely on proxy metrics for internal satisfaction

[00:03:34] And then act surprised when that doesn't work

[00:03:38] That's the part that concerns me a lot

[00:03:41] I'm perpetually stunned and frankly bored by the number of people chasing what they think will make them happy

[00:03:48] Arriving at the place and going this isn't what I thought

[00:03:52] From animals who are smart. We are profoundly dumb on this point

[00:03:57] We've crafted a culture that negates the very values we purport to espouse

[00:04:02] Relationships meaningful work honesty integrity happiness

[00:04:07] we instead promote ideas of hustle and the lone founder and

[00:04:12] Individualist ideas of success not sleeping money power

[00:04:18] Status and all the things that lead to quite literally the opposite of happiness

[00:04:23] Ignorance on this topic is frankly ridiculous at this point and yet here. We are

[00:04:29] We have excellent data now on what leads to a great meaningful

[00:04:34] fulfilling

[00:04:35] satisfied and quote-unquote happy life

[00:04:38] And we continue to chase the opposite on account of things like to make my parents happy to impress my friends

[00:04:44] So people like me so I can have power or whatever your psychological Achilles heel is

[00:04:51] I'm not judging your Achilles heel. I have plenty. I'm judging the denial of it

[00:04:57] If we want a more self-actualized society that represents life

[00:05:01] Liberty in the pursuit of happiness then we need to stop doing the opposite

[00:05:06] Our actions must match our intentions and when they don't when they are misaligned

[00:05:12] We suffer interpersonally

[00:05:15] intrapersonally

[00:05:16] emotionally

[00:05:18] psychologically physically and otherwise

[00:05:21] When there's a mismatch between what you believe and how you behave you will always find suffering I

[00:05:28] Challenge us to consider what brings us joy satisfaction and fulfillment

[00:05:33] Divorce from what society says should to know the difference between what society

[00:05:38] Inacurately dictates should make you happy and what actually does

[00:05:43] Disnecessitates the following skills, which I believe we are solely lacking but can improve upon

[00:05:50] Self-reflection insight self-awareness

[00:05:53] Empathy courage the willingness to be wrong the tension of being disliked or difficult and

[00:05:59] hardest of all the courage to tell yourself the truth. I hope you find that courage

[00:06:05] I believe the courage to tell ourselves the truth about what's working and what is not in our lives

[00:06:10] Where we derive joy and where we don't is subversive

[00:06:14] Because once you're aware of it then you have to do something about it

[00:06:19] In the end you can't really lie to yourself because the body keeps the score

[00:06:23] It's how psychological physics works that resentment rage

[00:06:29] Disatisfaction bitterness jealousy and longing comes out eventually

[00:06:34] Only when you deny there there you lose your power

[00:06:37] You don't get to determine how they come out or who they will hit on the way out

[00:06:42] Telling ourselves the truth about who we are how we're behaving and how we feel

[00:06:47] Holds the key to revolutionizing the world

[00:06:50] If you think I'm being hyperbolic, I implore you to try and see what happens

[00:06:57] To the pursuit of authentic joy real relationships and the discernment to know when you're pursuing

[00:07:04] Someone else's dream

[00:07:06] You just listen to the post titled the courage it takes to be happy by Margo Aaron of thatseemsimportant.com

[00:07:18] Thank You to Margo. There's a good quote in there when there's a mismatch between what you believe and how you behave

[00:07:25] You will always find suffering. I'm gonna have to put that in the weekly newsletter

[00:07:29] Totally coincidental that just talked about this in the commentary of yesterday's episode

[00:07:34] When it comes to minimalism, for instance

[00:07:36] We can follow the quote-unquote rules that some may have maybe living with a certain number of items or pieces of clothing

[00:07:44] But if we still want more clothes

[00:07:47] We're not really accomplishing that much at all mostly just organizing which is nice

[00:07:53] But it won't have as big of an impact

[00:07:55] That's similar to what Margo is talking about here with the mismatch between beliefs and actions

[00:08:00] It can really have a big impact

[00:08:03] And then there's the issue of knowing what will make us happy even to the point of telling others

[00:08:08] But then we don't do it ourselves

[00:08:10] It happens a lot and with me too

[00:08:13] So thanks to Margo for the reminder and actually if you're not sure about what leads to a happier longer life

[00:08:21] Well, you can keep listening to this show

[00:08:22] But a documentary currently on Netflix called live to 100 secrets of the blue zones

[00:08:29] Is another way to find out or again keep listening to this podcast and discovering along with me

[00:08:35] And on that note we're all done for today

[00:08:37] Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits