2935: How to Live a Life With No Regrets by Hilary Barnett with NoSidebar on Bronnie Ware Regrets of the Dying

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[00:00:58] wonderfulpistachios.com. This is Optimal Living Dealing Episode 2935, How to Live a Life with No

[00:01:07] Regrets by Hilary Barnett with nosidebar.com and I'm Justin Malik. Happy Friday. This is the

[00:01:15] award-winning podcast where I read blogs to you hopefully matting a little bit of inspiration,

[00:01:20] motivation, or happiness to your day. This is all with permission from the website owners,

[00:01:25] by the way. I'm going to keep this intro nice and short so let's get right to it as we optimize

[00:01:30] your life. How to Live a Life with No Regrets by Hilary Barnett with nosidebar.com

[00:01:42] What really matters? This question can seem really complicated when you're immersed in

[00:01:47] the day-to-day responsibilities of life but when you're faced with the reality of the end

[00:01:52] of life, things can become quite clear. In her article and subsequently in her book,

[00:01:58] The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware, reveals the things that were

[00:02:05] at the forefront of her patients' minds as they were preparing for their last moments on earth.

[00:02:11] What her patients told her can help us get a better picture of how we should be living our

[00:02:16] lives now. So what do we make of our lives of this present moment and what decisions do we make to

[00:02:23] focus on what truly matters? We hear the top 5 regrets that her patients mentioned with some

[00:02:30] thoughts on what we can do right now to ensure that these are regrets that we do not share

[00:02:35] when we come to that point in our lives. Number one, I wish I'd had the courage to live a life

[00:02:42] true to myself, not what others expect of me. Ouch, this one stings a little doesn't it?

[00:02:49] So often we get caught up in pleasing everyone around us and we forget what makes us feel truly

[00:02:55] alive. It takes simplifying our lives to see what we really want to be. It's difficult to

[00:03:00] see through the clutter but once you get there, you must take that first brave step

[00:03:06] and be true to who you are. Number two, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. We strive, we climb,

[00:03:14] we burn the candle at both ends and being productive and recognized gives us a sense of worth but in

[00:03:21] the end it's our relationships with those we love that matter most. How can you simplify your

[00:03:26] schedule to make time for the most important people in your life? So often it's in the most

[00:03:32] mundane and unproductive moments that we make the most precious memories. Number three, I wish I'd had

[00:03:39] the courage to express my feelings. When we're bogged down with life, our emotions are the first

[00:03:45] things we neglect. We don't pay attention to what they are telling us and we're reluctant to

[00:03:51] express them to others for fear of rejection or shame. Quieting our minds in our environments

[00:03:57] can create space for our emotions to truly surface giving us an opportunity to understand them

[00:04:03] and express them in ways that are helpful in healing. Number four, I wish I had stayed in touch

[00:04:10] with my friends. It could be so easy to unwittingly neglect the relationships in our lives at the

[00:04:16] sake of our busyness. Reaching out to friends takes an extra effort one that may seem like just

[00:04:22] one more thing on the to-do list and a day filled with responsibilities but when we make this

[00:04:27] a priority it has the opposite effect. It fills us up instead of draining us. Who are those people

[00:04:34] that you truly care about? They haven't spoken to in some time. Make an effort to reach out

[00:04:40] beyond their most recent Facebook update. See how they're doing and spend some time in

[00:04:45] conversation if you can. And number five, I wish I had let myself be happier. One of the most

[00:04:52] difficult things to learn is that happiness is a choice. Circumstances are very rarely going to be

[00:04:58] perfect enough to allow us to be happy at all times but we can choose joy in the moment and be grateful

[00:05:05] for the beautiful and meaningful things in our lives. So often we can get caught up in the

[00:05:10] seriousness of life and forget how much happiness can come from simply letting loose and being

[00:05:16] silly once in a while. Our inner child wants to be heard. We just have to listen and be comfortable

[00:05:23] enough to let our guard down. Simplifying your life is about focusing on what really matters.

[00:05:29] When you choose what is important to you and focus on it, you gain a sense of clarity and trust

[00:05:35] that allows you to live with less regrets. How can you begin today to simplify? It doesn't

[00:05:41] have to be a major undertaking. It can be one small act. It could be a moment of quiet where you slow

[00:05:47] down long enough to hear what your heart is telling you. It could be a choice to make more time today

[00:05:53] for someone you love. It could be a decision to remove something from your life that is no

[00:05:58] longer bringing you joy. It could be one word, a yes or a no. I hope you're encouraged

[00:06:05] to live life to the fullest. We all have a finite amount of time but what we do with it

[00:06:11] is the most powerful choice we will ever make. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:20] How to Live a Life with No Regrets by Hilary Barnett with nosidebar.com.

[00:06:26] Thank you to Hilary. This is a favorite topic of mine that I come back to often because it's

[00:06:31] really important. The purpose of these podcasts is to help us but the format is done in a special

[00:06:38] way trying to find authors who have been through something that we can learn from and benefit

[00:06:43] from so we don't suffer the same way that they have. That's why there's a bunch of different

[00:06:48] authors and perspectives. When we're kids, we don't want to listen to advice from our parents

[00:06:53] or elders. We think we know what's right and want to choose for ourselves as we get older and

[00:06:59] possibly become parents ourselves. We realize that the advice we were given as a child or

[00:07:04] teenager or young adult, even adult was coming from a place of care. The parent or elder

[00:07:11] whoever really just doesn't want us to suffer the same fate that they did. We know this,

[00:07:18] yet still struggle to take good advice like this. Again especially as children.

[00:07:24] And by the way we touched on this topic earlier this week in episode 2932.

[00:07:28] But hopefully by listening to these articles we can remember this and truly digest what

[00:07:34] these authors are saying especially in today's case where an author of a book spent a ton

[00:07:39] of time interviewing the dying. That's such an important perspective, one that we can all learn from.

[00:07:46] So I hope you're able to take it to heart and consider these regrets.

[00:07:50] But that'll do it for today. Have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here with me

[00:07:54] every day and for telling others about this show. That's the greatest thing you can do to help

[00:07:58] out. It means a lot. So thank you again and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.