2946: Do You Have A To Don't List by Helene Massicotte of Free To Pursue on Productivity & Time Management

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 2946. Do you have a to don't list? You should.

[00:00:07] And here's why by Helene Massicotte of FreeToPursue.com and my narrator Justin Malik

[00:00:13] reading you blogs every single day of the year. So with that, let's get right to

[00:00:17] our next post as we optimize your life. Do you have a to don't list? You should.

[00:00:28] Here's why by Helene Massicotte of FreeToPursue.com

[00:00:33] We lead busy lives. We need to go to places, get things, leave things, send things, receive things,

[00:00:41] and get my drift. There are only so many hours in the day that we can devote to getting things done

[00:00:47] and we try to organize ourselves to work as efficiently as possible

[00:00:50] to cram as much as possible into every single day. Many of us feel we'd be lost without our

[00:00:56] calendar, reminders, task lists, alarms, and sticky notes. What about your to don't list?

[00:01:03] Do you have one of those? I found that most of us have one. We just don't want to acknowledge it.

[00:01:10] Passively our to don't list is all the stuff that's always on the list but that we never get to.

[00:01:16] We mean to get it done but we show no commitment or time investment to actually do it.

[00:01:21] There's a lot of emotional baggage attached to items on a passive to don't list,

[00:01:25] which I'm finding as I work through my second month of decluttering. There's guilt,

[00:01:29] disappointment, regret, possibly even anger and frustration. Why do we do this to ourselves?

[00:01:36] Getting rid of stuff that clutters our homes is liberating. It feels like a weight off our

[00:01:41] shoulders to get rid of junk, old clothing, electronics, and kitchenware that we don't use

[00:01:46] anymore. So why don't we do that with shoulds, woods, and coulds? I've recently started using

[00:01:53] a real in writing to don't list and I like it. I've written down things I will not get done

[00:01:59] and it feels great. I'm finally getting to terms with things that I just will not get around to

[00:02:04] doing because I don't care enough about them. There's no point in dragging them with me for

[00:02:09] weeks, months, or even years. They're not going to happen and I just need to get over it.

[00:02:14] What's been on my list lately? Here's a sample. Keeping up with a dozen email subscriptions

[00:02:20] I felt I should be reading over the last year but wasn't. I'm now unsubscribed and have deleted

[00:02:26] past emails. Meaning to mend two pairs of pants for about two years. I obviously don't like them.

[00:02:32] I'm not doing it so I donated them. Collaborating on a project with two colleagues that I realized

[00:02:38] I don't want to participate in. I contacted them and let them know it was just not for me.

[00:02:43] Keeping a small cross-stitch project that is half finished that I know I won't complete.

[00:02:48] It's been one of two projects I've kept around for almost 20 years. Shish. For regular readers,

[00:02:53] it's not the same one as I mentioned in my bucket list. That's one I did complete.

[00:02:58] Keeping a book I'm halfway through and have been halfway through for over a year.

[00:03:02] I'm donating it and getting rid of the feeling I should keep reading right along with it.

[00:03:07] I'm an avid reader and I should really worry about books I actually want to read.

[00:03:12] And meaning to use new recipes I found in a half dozen cookbooks over the last decade.

[00:03:17] I obviously don't want to devote that time to these particular recipes since I've looked up,

[00:03:22] made and enjoyed many other ones during this time. I've removed the sticky notes

[00:03:26] and donated the cookbooks. What's common to these is that this list is full of good intentions.

[00:03:33] And that's all they are, intentions. These intentions are sucking energy out of me

[00:03:38] by remaining intentions and when I really think about them,

[00:03:42] I know that I don't care enough about them to follow through. So why allow them to suck up any

[00:03:47] of my mental energy? I'm much better off choosing to do away with the time I spend thinking about them.

[00:03:53] By doing that, I'm giving myself permission to think about and do other things that,

[00:03:58] for now, I find more valuable. I get that this is a hard thing to do. It means letting go

[00:04:04] of something we were or that we want to be or feel. There's an emotional connection with our

[00:04:10] intentions that can be difficult to sever. That's why it's important to realize that we are shackling

[00:04:15] ourselves with the thought of alternate actions and states that just aren't aligned with who we are,

[00:04:20] at least for the time being. Things can always change and we can always come back to the activity

[00:04:26] in things that we actively chose not to pursue, though maybe in a different form.

[00:04:31] By adding it to the to-don't list, we're not closing the door forever,

[00:04:35] we're simply allowing ourselves to be focused on what we really do want in the present

[00:04:39] and use our time and energy for those things. That focus increases our likelihood of success,

[00:04:45] as opposed to diluting our time and attention on what won't matter in the long run.

[00:04:50] So far, nothing that has made a to-don't list has ever come back to haunt me, despite the fact

[00:04:55] that it often means I get rid of physical things in the process. Of course, the better I get at

[00:05:00] this activity, the more likely it is to happen, but that's a risk I'm willing to take given

[00:05:05] the reduction in wasted time and stress I experience. The upside of having less to worry about and less

[00:05:11] clutter in my mind and in my life is much more valuable. I hope I keep getting better at working

[00:05:17] on my to-don't list, I find I'm happier and more focused the longer it gets.

[00:05:26] You just listened to the post titled, Do You Have A To-Don't List? You Should, and here's why,

[00:05:32] by Len Masseycott of FreeToPursue.com. Thank you to Elen, a great article today

[00:05:38] the way she described getting rid of stuff that clutters our home felt exactly like a conversation

[00:05:43] I had a couple of weeks ago as I was getting rid of some really old stuff. I distinctly remember

[00:05:49] saying that it felt like a weight off my shoulders, which is what she said word for word.

[00:05:53] And something I also said was that it felt cleansing. I don't know, maybe it's a personality

[00:05:58] thing, but I really do believe that it's cathartic and should be done more often. We hear a bunch

[00:06:03] of blog posts about minimalism, tidying up, decluttering, whatever you want to call it.

[00:06:08] And sometimes it's nice to listen to, but if you really take some time to do it,

[00:06:12] just one space or one drawer even at a time, it can make a huge difference. So try working on that

[00:06:18] today. I'll be here supporting you and reading to you as usual so have a great rest of your day

[00:06:23] and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.