2966: How to Let Go of Your Emotional Clutter: 5 Clear Steps by Erica Layne on How to Have Healthier Thought

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily Episode 2966 How to Let Go of Your Emotional Clutter

[00:00:06] 5 Clear Steps by Erica Layne of ericallayne.co and I'm Justin Malik, your very own personal narrator.

[00:00:13] Welcome to Optimal Living Daily OLD for short where I read the best blogs to you with permission from the authors

[00:00:20] covering productivity, minimalism, mental health, all that fun stuff.

[00:00:26] And with that, let's get right to another post and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:34] How to Let Go of Your Emotional Clutter 5 Clear Steps by Erica Layne of ericallayne.co

[00:00:43] I've struggled for most of my life with this recurring thought.

[00:00:47] No one really sees or appreciates the things I do.

[00:00:51] I can vividly remember venting this frustration with tears filling my eyes to a mentor of mine as early as my mid-teens

[00:00:59] and only became more pronounced when I started my career, got married, and had children.

[00:01:05] Toddlers are not known for articulating their heartfelt thanks.

[00:01:08] But over the last few years, I've begun to recognize this internal narrative as emotional clutter.

[00:01:15] It weighs me down and creates resistance in my soul.

[00:01:19] It holds me back from focusing on the good.

[00:01:22] And when I can let go of that thought, I feel so much lighter.

[00:01:27] Whatever your emotional clutter is, I want this for you too.

[00:01:31] What IS emotional clutter?

[00:01:34] How many of these thoughts have run through your mind?

[00:01:36] I should be more blank.

[00:01:38] I'm so overwhelmed.

[00:01:40] I can't handle everything that's on my plate.

[00:01:43] I'm not appreciated.

[00:01:44] I do everything around here.

[00:01:46] He shouldn't know how I feel.

[00:01:48] I'm a bad mom or partner or sibling or friend.

[00:01:53] I can't do this, whatever this is in your situation.

[00:01:57] My kids deserve someone better.

[00:01:59] I'm going to lose my mind.

[00:02:01] I have no self-control.

[00:02:03] I'm not confident, successful, smart, or thin enough.

[00:02:09] These thoughts are what I call emotional clutter.

[00:02:13] Emotional clutter is the persistent, negative thoughts we have about ourselves, our lives, and others.

[00:02:20] Like physical clutter, emotional clutter weighs us down.

[00:02:24] But where clearing out your physical clutter can give you a sense of lightness and freedom,

[00:02:29] clearing out your emotional clutter will give you that feeling a hundred times over.

[00:02:35] Imagine if you could let go of or rewrite the most common negative scripts inside your head.

[00:02:41] Imagine how that would change how you feel on a daily basis.

[00:02:45] The problem is, your brain really likes those negative thoughts.

[00:02:49] It's so used to thinking them that at this point, they might even feel like facts about yourself

[00:02:54] for the people in your life instead of what they are just thoughts.

[00:02:59] Let's say you're on a hike.

[00:03:01] Picture a path you'd take down a mountain.

[00:03:04] The more times you walk that path, the more clear it's going to be.

[00:03:09] You'll pack down the dirt and trample some of the underbrush,

[00:03:12] and every time you hike there, it'll be even easier to take that specific path.

[00:03:18] This is how our minds operate.

[00:03:20] The more you think a thought, the clearer the pathway becomes in your brain.

[00:03:25] The great news is that with consciousness and repetition,

[00:03:28] we have the power to change those negative pathways.

[00:03:31] We can carve out a new path down the mountain.

[00:03:35] This I bet you already know is called neuroplasticity.

[00:03:39] Next to pinning down my top three personal values,

[00:03:42] this is some of the most important and most life-changing inner work I've ever done,

[00:03:47] and I'm so excited to share it here.

[00:03:50] I've got five steps that help you recognize and then clear out your own emotional clutter.

[00:03:57] Five steps to letting go of emotional clutter.

[00:04:01] Step number one, identify your most frequent negative thoughts, your emotional clutter.

[00:04:07] One of the best things you can do to see these thoughts

[00:04:10] is to pause anytime you're experiencing a negative emotion.

[00:04:13] If you feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, hurt, resentful, disappointed, anything,

[00:04:21] stop right there and see if you can trace what you're feeling back to a thought.

[00:04:26] Everything you feel starts with a thought.

[00:04:29] Not your circumstance at the moment or something someone did to you.

[00:04:33] It all starts with a thought about that circumstance.

[00:04:38] A lot of times it's the thought that something should be different than it is.

[00:04:43] Someone should treat you a certain way.

[00:04:45] You should be able to handle everything that's on your plates, etc.

[00:04:48] So step one is simply to start a running list of your negative thoughts,

[00:04:52] your emotional clutter, in a journal or the notes app on your phone.

[00:04:58] Step number two, from that list highlight one thought that regularly causes you to feel negative emotion.

[00:05:06] As much as I wish we could take them all on at once,

[00:05:09] I recommend focusing on one at a time to really make progress clearing out your emotional clutter.

[00:05:16] Step number three, practice noticing the thought every time it crosses your mind.

[00:05:21] Tip, you may not notice yourself consciously thinking the thought you've identified.

[00:05:26] Remember your brain has taken this pathway so many times it might be automatic.

[00:05:31] So one thing that helps me is to look for the feeling that always follows the thought.

[00:05:37] I don't know about you, but I usually notice my negative feelings.

[00:05:40] From there, I can look at my list and see if one of those thoughts is at the root of what I'm feeling.

[00:05:47] Step number four, drop the thought altogether or shift it to a more positive alternative.

[00:05:54] You don't have to believe everything you think.

[00:05:56] You can decide if your thoughts are serving you and if they aren't, you can drop them.

[00:06:01] Take for example the thought, I can't handle everything that's on my plate.

[00:06:05] Is that thought serving you?

[00:06:07] Well, my guess is you've survived all of your busiest seasons in the past.

[00:06:11] I bet you can get through this one too, one day, one small task at a time.

[00:06:17] Not to mention there are usually ways to get some things off your plates

[00:06:21] and people who want to support you.

[00:06:24] What if whenever that thought creeps up on you, you shift it to

[00:06:28] I'm not alone in this, I'm taking one thing at a time.

[00:06:32] A couple of tips for writing your new thought.

[00:06:35] Number one, always make small believable shifts.

[00:06:39] If you try to jump to a thought that's 180 degrees from the original,

[00:06:43] your brain just won't buy it.

[00:06:45] For example, it's a big leap to go from nobody cares about me to everybody loves me.

[00:06:51] Instead, make a small positive shift that you really believe

[00:06:56] such as my family cares about me and I care about myself.

[00:07:01] And number two, keep the new thought as simple as possible.

[00:07:05] I've done this exercise with a hundred students who've taken my course,

[00:07:09] declutter your life, and sometimes I see people write whole paragraphs

[00:07:13] to replace their old thought.

[00:07:15] Keep it simple, edit it down.

[00:07:17] You want something your mind can easily grab onto.

[00:07:21] And step number five, repeat, repeat, repeat.

[00:07:25] To replace the negative pathway previously carved in your brain,

[00:07:29] you'll need to create a new one.

[00:07:31] And the way to do that is by running your new thought through your brain

[00:07:35] over and over and over again.

[00:07:38] Consciously repeat the new thought loop in your mind every time the old one comes up.

[00:07:43] Write it in your journal every day.

[00:07:45] Say it out loud while you drive a familiar route,

[00:07:48] while you take a walk in nature,

[00:07:50] or while you look at yourself in the mirror.

[00:07:53] Repeat it so much that your brain slowly starts taking this path on automatic

[00:07:59] rather than the old one.

[00:08:01] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:08:07] How to Let Go of Your Emotional Clutter, Five Clear Steps

[00:08:11] by Erica Lane of ericallane.co.

[00:08:14] Thank you to Erica.

[00:08:16] It's pretty crazy how much of an impact

[00:08:18] seemingly tiny negative thoughts can have on us.

[00:08:22] It's not just mental or emotional,

[00:08:24] but they can affect our habits and even our physical health.

[00:08:28] So I think it's got to be one of the most important subjects we talk about here.

[00:08:32] After the many years of hosting this show,

[00:08:35] the techniques that I see come up the most to do this are usually

[00:08:39] journaling which did come up today,

[00:08:42] mindfulness and or meditation,

[00:08:44] visualization and that one's a bit less common I think,

[00:08:48] and affirmations.

[00:08:50] We actually have a new sleep affirmations podcast

[00:08:53] so perfect timing that walks through a body scan,

[00:08:56] a calming narration,

[00:08:58] followed by a list of affirmations.

[00:09:00] In each episode covers a different personal development topic.

[00:09:04] I think that could be a super helpful way to do all of this

[00:09:07] a bit more passively than journaling or meditation

[00:09:10] and it seems to help.

[00:09:12] You can find that podcast by searching for Good Sleep in your podcast app

[00:09:16] and then make sure to follow or subscribe to the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:09:21] But in any case, slowly redirecting negative thoughts to positive

[00:09:25] can have a huge positive impact leading to a happier, more fulfilled life.

[00:09:31] So it's worth the shot.

[00:09:33] Go with whatever sounds like the easiest or most interesting method for you

[00:09:37] then let me know how it goes.

[00:09:39] Hope you're having a great morning, afternoon, or evening

[00:09:42] whenever you're listening to this

[00:09:44] and I'll see you tomorrow where your Optimal Life awaits.