2973: An Excerpt From the Book What Drives You by Kevin Miller

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Living Daily, Episode 2973, An Excerpt From The Book What Drives You by Kevin Miller And I'm Justin Malik, your personal narrator, reading to you every day including holidays, usually from blogs But sometimes from books and that's the case today

[00:00:16] So for now let's get right to it as we optimize your life An Excerpt From The Book What Drives You by Kevin Miller Being driven is just a thought away

[00:00:33] At age 19, Ben Hardy was the embodiment of everything I most feared for my own children and the younger generation And yet 15 years later he's a guest on my podcast for the third time with yet another best-selling book

[00:00:49] What flipped a switch from his purposeless and hopeless life to one of infinite promise and high performance drive Is actually one of the most unexpected stories I've ever encountered That makes him a perfect muse to help us understand why we're completely wrong about how we perceive so-called

[00:01:07] Driven people and how we trigger our own drive to accomplish what we care about in life Ben was the oldest of three boys who grew up in a religious home The family's foundation was built on faith with clear guideposts for how to live one's life

[00:01:23] This made it all the more shocking when his world blew up at the tender age of 11 when his parents went through a brutal divorce His mom and dad walked away entirely from the religious structure that had been the primary tenet of their existence

[00:01:38] He recalls my parents then became completely different people than I thought they were While his mom threw herself into a failing health club business His dad fell into a depression and soon became addicted to math

[00:01:53] Ben's father declined rapidly his house becoming a toxic environment for a preteen boy Ben says we'd be in one room playing video games and in the next room were these weird drug addicts

[00:02:05] And my friends would be asking what the heck was going on, but it just became the new normal Meanwhile, Ben's mom was putting in 80 hour weeks at the health club and was rarely around With Ben's parents living just a few miles from each other

[00:02:20] He bounced back and forth between their homes but spent the majority of his time in a meaningless distraction of video games. He recalls I Graduated from high school, but not even sure how as I missed so many days

[00:02:33] I had no stability no job no work ethic no future in mind I basically existed in a trauma state As his father's home became more dangerous Ben found himself couch surfing at a cousin's house and spending up to 15 hours a day playing world of Warcraft

[00:02:52] To any outside observer Ben had little to no hope for anything positive to come from his life Yet slowly and steadily he became aware of the crumbling and vacant lives of those around him who were falling into physical

[00:03:07] mental and moral decay and the idea began growing in his mind that if he didn't do something different He would end up succumbing to his surroundings and fade into oblivion So he decided to do something anything to change

[00:03:22] No big event happened no climactic circumstance arose just a small dawning realization This is how drive is triggered for the majority of people. It's rarely a fancy tragic or fairy tale event too many people wait for some big event to happen to them and never see the dawn

[00:03:43] So we must let go of the myth that some people are driven and some are not When in fact is more a matter of some people discover a reason to be driven and some do not You must also understand being driven is not all or nothing

[00:03:58] It's possible you can have great drive and success in one area of your life where you have clear and authentic motives yet encounter failure in other areas of your life where your motives are unclear unhealthy and Possibly hidden and you find your drive taking you in unfulfilling directions

[00:04:16] This is massively frustrating and yet far too normal We want success to be get success But how often do you witness people who realize great success in one area of their lives and massive feelings in other areas?

[00:04:31] This has actually become an accepted part of success in our performance oriented culture It's okay to have three failed marriages if you're worth millions It's okay to be a best-selling deal-it-surprise winning author and be physically or psychologically wrecked at a relatively young age

[00:04:48] As if we expect with any great success and gain in one area of our lives We must also endure an equally great sacrifice and loss in another area We get to viewing our life as a zero-sum game with a winning side and a losing side

[00:05:04] This errant view drives many people to just stay in the mediocre middle Afraid of great failure or success and thinking they must coincide Do you really want to accept this for your life? Again, this big high big low storyline makes great movies, but it's not the norm

[00:05:23] I assure you that you can have great drive in all areas of your life and achieve fulfillment across the board That's why I wrote this book Regarding Ben's story. I could say the rest is history

[00:05:36] But let's take a closer look at the rather unassuming trajectory that quickly transformed video gaming aimless Ben To Benjamin Hardy PhD top blogger and multi-best-selling author As Ben's nuclear family imploded he was able to retain two positive influences in his life

[00:05:55] His grandfather and a former pastor from his church who made the effort to stay in touch with him He told me these men were the small lights in his life who sparked the hope of there being a better life for him

[00:06:08] Right after his 20th birthday a time when Ben was distracted from reality He left for a church mission for what he committed to be a turning point for a better life

[00:06:18] I believed in God said Ben, but initially I signed up for selfish reasons hoping it would just lead to better opportunities for my life Ben's younger brother struggled with addiction since the divorce and continues to to this day

[00:06:32] His other brother is autistic and continues living at home with the parents Almost overnight Ben went from playing video games all day to walking the streets and evangelizing to people Over the next two years he studied spirituality and personal development

[00:06:49] Particularly the work of Stephen Covey and fervently journals his thoughts and beliefs He says on average my journal for an hour a day and at this point probably have 50 to 60 fully filled out journals Importantly while Ben was serving his church mission his father turned away from his addiction

[00:07:09] Got clean and even got involved in addiction recovery support through his church Ben developed a love for learning and writing and made the firm decision that this was the direction He wanted to pursue for his life

[00:07:22] He got a college degree earning straight A's and graduated in three years Ultimately getting his PhD in organizational psychology four years later His prolific reading and journaling helped him develop his knack for writing

[00:07:36] Which he put to use on the medium blog platform where he quickly amassed a following and became their number one writer He converted that following into an email list of over a hundred and fifty thousand fans

[00:07:48] Which earned him a six-figure advance for his first book willpower doesn't work He's since written four other best-selling books most excitedly. He married his dream girl They're raising their six kids in Orlando, Florida Ben's story is a great example of the innocuous dawning that triggers most driven people

[00:08:09] You just listen to an excerpt from the book. What drives you by Kevin Miller? Thank you to Kevin the name Benjamin Hardy should sound familiar since I do regularly narrate his work And now the full title of Kevin's book is what drives you how to discover your unique

[00:08:30] motivators and accelerate growth in work and life you can find that on Amazon I'll have it linked in this episode's description And he has a really unique story to Kevin Miller. So I'm gonna share that now At just 10 years old Kevin began his elite athletic career

[00:08:47] He quickly became a nationally ranked BMX racer He even started his first business out of his parents garage when he was 15 Then by 16 he was racing in Europe His first child was born with serious complications from a brain hemorrhage and this stopped him in his tracks

[00:09:05] He didn't get back on a bike until two years later But from there he did get back on had a prolific cycling career and started multiple businesses He was invited to speak for Zig Ziglar's corporation and was interviewed on one of Zig's last episodes

[00:09:21] And was actually asked to revive the Ziggler show So he's been podcasting ever since with guests like Seth Godin Dave Ramsey even my business partner Lee Rankinen He now has nine children and they fulfilled their dream to build a large

[00:09:38] Self-sustainable house made out of straw in a national forest in the Rockies where he continues his podcast self-helpful So big thanks to Kevin for this again. You can find his book on Amazon. It's called what drives you

[00:09:51] Thank you for being here. Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits